Ladies do you plan to take your husbands family name?

Question

I'm getting married early next year and am very excited...

i'm planning to take my husbands name as its tradition...but feel a little sad letting my maiden name go...

lots of people have suggested a double second name (mine and his) but do you think thats a good idea or a bit pretentious??? What did you do or plan to do?

thankyou :o)

Answer 1

I thought long and hard about this; I married when I was 28. I have two degrees, and was established in my career. My family surname was one of good standing.
However, my husband and I were hoping to have children, so knew we should have ONE family surname because of this. No hyphenating, and it's just too hard for kids when they have only one of the parents' names.
So I decided to take his surname - only after he had suggested that he could take my surname, and he was serious!
I like what lots of women are doing now - taking their maiden name as their middle name - I think that's a great idea!

Answer 2

A double name is not at all pretentious. Keep in mind that not having the same last name may make things a bit more difficult with kids. You could also make a hybrid of your names that you both use or make your maiden name your middle name. You mentioned that you are planning to take your husbands because it is tradition. Is this a tradition that you truly belive in or is it just another "rule" that doesn't make sense in your situation. Making it work for you and your husband is what truly matters, not some silly ( slightly anitquated) tradition. I'm defintiely not saying that you shouldn't take his name , just pointing out that tradition isn't all that matters.

I will be taking my husbands name simply because I hate my maiden name.

Answer 3

I'm keeping my birth name. My fiance and I both feel strongly that a woman has just as much right to her own name as a man has to his. (In his culture it's fairly common for women to keep their names, so his family has no problem with our decision.) If/when we decide to have children, i'm sure we'll reach a good compromise on their names.

The double second name is perfectly fine provided it's not ridiculously long. I really like that idea, and more couples are starting to do that. However, in our case, hyphenating or using a double last name would simply not be practical. The hyphenated name would be 21 characters and 8 syllables long. No thanks! :-)

Do whatever feels right to you.

EDIT: Maybe it depends on where you live, but I know several families in which not all family members have the same last name. It's really a non-issue, and no one else seems to care either.

Answer 4

There were zero boys born into my family. If the girls didn't keep their names when they got married, the name would be lost (at least as part of our lineage). However, the name is 12 letters/4 syllables and difficult to pronounce...

What most girls in my family do as keep their maiden name as a middle intial/name. So, if my maiden name begins with G, and I'm marrying a Smith, my new name would be Ennie G. Smith. You don't often have to write out your middle name, but it is still a nice little reminder of your maiden name.

Answer 5

I had trouble taking away my maiden name. It just was weird. But I took my husband's last name because it's tradition and is easier when we have children. But, since I'm an aspiring writer I plan on using my maiden name if I ever get published. That way it's still there.

Answer 6

I think the double name does sound a little pretentious. I did take my husbands name and it has been fine. I use my maiden name as a middle name.

Answer 7

I thought seriously about keeping my name just as it is, but after some deliberation, I've decided to hyphenate it. The names sound good together, if a bit long, and both are very nice names.

My brother and I are the last people with our last name in our line, so that's a factor for me.

My fiance's name is uncommon, so my name will be unusual and I will have to spell it for everyone, but I don't mind. Right now we're not planning on children--if we have any, then I suppose they will end up with his last name.

Hyphenating my name doesn't make me feel "less a part of the family" in any way. My fiance and I have been together for seven years already and I believe that nothing can change our closeness.

Hyphenated names are so common nowadays that I don't think it's pretentious (unless you end up with Hilton-Rockefeller, which might be a tad bit pretentious :P )

But, as others have said, you can go any way you want and I don't think most people will give it a second thought upon hearing your name.

Answer 8

I am taking his last name. A couple of people I know have changed their middle names to their maiden name. I don't think a hyphenated last name is pretentious at all.

Answer 9

I would never consider changing. All my relatives did, so the notion of me not changing would be lost on some people but my name is my business. I love my last name, it is unique, and I have carved out my identity very meticulously. Also I know that my brother has no intention on marrying so I want my family name to live on.

I do not plan on having kids of my own, if I were to adopt I would hyphenate.

Answer 10

Most women take their husband's name because it is tradition in our culture. Does it really matter? People keep saying, "what if you have kids?" There are so many kids that come from divorced or unmarried parents, that every person in the family has a different last name. Are they still a family? YES! Just do what you and your husband feel comfortable with.

I've heard of some couples picking a completely new last name together. Take the letters of both of your last names (like Smith and Jones) and rearrange them to make a new last name.