older man problem, please help?

Question

im 17 now and although i like and have been out with guys my own age i keep falling for older men and by that i mean about 20 years older than me, like teachers and stuff. it didnt used 2 be so bad as i would get myself over them by telling myslef that nothing could happen. but 2 years ago, when i was at secondary school i had a relationship with 1 of my teachers. id been infatuated with him 4 ages and he was very attractive i thort he was about 30ish as thats the age he looked, but i found out later that he was 44, ever since then i expect that some older men might hav a relationship with me cause of him doing so. now ive fallen for my english tutor, who ive known 4 bout a year he's 37 so 20 years older than me and altho hes got a girlfriend whos he's been with for about a year he's very flirty with me. he's not that attractive but me n him get on very well and i cant help hoping that something would happen and i cant help myself liking older guys.....i dont kno wot to do .please help

Answer 1

Hello, Babe:

A study of over 100,000 prospective inductees into Israel's army showed of those who were disqualified for autism, they had fathers older than thirty, and the neurological defects increased as the age of the father increased.

The woman's age had no effect, probably because ovums are produced in puberty, whereas the testes produce sperm while the father does drugs, drinks, etc.

So, choose first to obey God, he has a future planned for those who make a sacrifice with Him through obedience, and carefully think what you can contribute to a marriage rather than looking for the stability of an older man.

Shalom, peace in Jesus, Ben Yeshua

P.S.: God has it all worked out, you need only follow His leadings. See http://abiblecode.tripod.clm

Answer 2

I think most women go through a phase of wanting an older guy they tend to be more stable emotionally and financially then guys your age and women find that appealing. That is a big age difference but I would be more worried about the legal implication if you got caught. When you are 18 date who ever you want no big deal but do not jeopardize someones career while your 17.

Answer 3

Too bad you are now totally drowned and I can say abused by these older men..they give me the image of Michael Jackson...you know what I mean...........pedophiles...you are only 17 and you have already all these experiences..so what will happen to your future, do you care a bit?Is this all what you can do in life, flirting around with oldies and completely destroying yourself....you know the truth that they are only using u....but U, maybe you are too......I just don't understand why you do this,,like a male prostitute now.,...believe me you are if you think of the situation..I dont know, things should be put into right.........I am just worried about your future,hope you dont get diseases or anyhting like that............cant you reflect better now..assess yourself.is this all right??please dont take offense, I feel this is my duty to clear your mind, you are young, dynamic, smart, and useful..why not use these positive characteristics...why live in danger and in despair, go back to your studies and aim for a better tomorrow,,it is not yet late...............change now..........for the better you.....just take care then!!!

Answer 4

I would refrain from getting anything going with those men if I were you. You admit that you are still young and implicating these people in crimes like statutory rape just because you had a crush on them would not be a caring act. If and when you go to college you'll have plenty of opportunities to explore your interests. Focus on creating a future for your self instead of making one so complicated you won't enjoy it..

Answer 5

I'm probably going to get a lot of heat for this answer.

But in reading everyone else's answers...I felt I had to say something because you must be feeling pretty crappy about yourself right now.

I had the EXACT same feelings for older men. Boys at that age are irresponsible, disgusting, immature, and unstable. It is easy to fall for someone older, esp. if you are like me and didn't really have a stable father figure around. I believe that this is natural.

HOWEVER...

Coming from experience: it is VERY dangerous to pursue these men. You can't help who you fall for...but you can control who you choose to pursue. If you continue this "flirty" behavior with older men, you are INEVETABLY going to find yourself in a situation YOU don't want to be in. These men get these messages, are flattered that you are young and beautiful and interested in them, and suddenly it doesn't matter that they have a wife, kids, etc....they will go for YOU. This isn't something you want as it gets VERY messy and VERY complicated...and you will find they DON'T want you for your personality.

It happened to me, it happened to me, it happened to me.

You are normal, but please take my warnings into consideration.

Hope I could help...
-Hallie-

Answer 6

Leave well alone, the man is already with some one so only hurt and unhappiness will fall on you. Its fine to have an age difference,as long as both parties are comfortable and happy together.

Answer 7

try to mix around more with both young or older men and get to know yourself. you may get to see the difference?

there no barrier to age when it comes to relationships but there the age barrier that cant be ignored. pay more attention to that if you are serious in it.

becareful not to be taken advantaged of by older men? try to gain as much as you can thru innocent relationships of course.

Answer 8

Just relax a while .... take a class .... do some volunteer work
Unless you are going to be like Anna Nichole Smith and take the for a bunch of cash. I guess that's OK too

Answer 9

you need to not worry so much about the age thing. If you get on well... then just enjoy that.
Friends and lovers are hard enough to find, no need to put up barriers that dont need to be there.
if ya dont make it with him... give me a shout...

Answer 10

You are a dangerous chick. If he is smart enough to be a teacher, he should keep his zipper up and report you.