I think I might be pregnant with my second child. Ive been moody and depressed lately. Im young and I havent had the chance to experience what i would like in my life, I know if i have another child opposed to only one it would be majorly hard. My fiance is ready to settle down, so am i, but im so depressed. I dont want to give up my dreams or goals (thats how i put them) I hardly have time to myself, and im not the person i used to be. I dont have many friends, most gave up on me with my first child ( it didnt bother me) but no one understands or can tell me anything. Im sure im not the only one who feels this way. I would like to go back to school, i like going out here and there, but my fiance wants everything to stop (not school or work tho) I still want to enjoy my life and experience things that i should. I dont regret anything, Someone help me? am i depressed?
2007-12-09 21:00:03 · 10 answers · asked by Amanda K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
btw... im not upset about having another child or my son... I will love my children unconditionally... I just feel so tied down, not only from my children b/c i know i can kind of get things accomplished (really for them) but marriage, and everything that goes along with it, i think alot has to do with me losing all of my friends, and working full time +OT and all the pressure. I wanted to go to school for dentistry, but now knowing it will take yrs, and that i need a job now to support my family along w/ my hubby it seems faint. At one time i was modeling, W/ 2 kids i cant even keep up, and hubby doesnt want me to. I make new friends, but cant keep them, Im so stressed, busy and i can never hang out, usually b/c their not up 2 hubbys standards. Im sitting @ work 5:30 am while hes @ home with my son. This is the only place i can get away and think. I love my fiance. I love my son, and i love my unborn child. so... what is wrong with me?
2007-12-09 21:26:41 · update #1
you sound depressed and thats normal. Im pregante with # 2 and i get alittle emotional and depressed at times.
being a parent already, the going out and stuff shouldnt be happening unless its shopping or with family. the party time stops untill your children are grown.
dreams and goals are always achievable, make them reasonable for your life today. dont set them too high and let yourself down.
i married at 19 and had a baby at 22. I didnt do everything i wanted to and havent even finished college but i am satisfied with the life i live because i choose this. I wouldnt change it. Love your family and appreciate what you got.
parenting is hard and makes you think alot. a little too much. relax and enjoy it!
2007-12-09 21:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie3767 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not depressed; you're just bored. Thing is, you never have to give up anything. There are many ways to fulfill your dreams. If you can't attend a campus, try taking courses online. That provides a wide variety of flexibility for busy people.
As far as the friends you say you lost when your first child was born, they weren't your friends, anyway. True friends are very supportive, and would never bail on someone they truly care about.
Tell your fiance how you feel about his restricting your social life. Don't give him any ultimatums when you talk to him; it'll put him off if he feels like you're forcing choices on him. Tell him simply that you love him but you need a broader support base. Explain to him that you want to enjoy life as everyone else does. Having a girls' night out doesn't mean girls on the prowl. Tell him you just need some YOU time. And when you return, it'll be OUR time.
Talk to him. And when you do it, do it quietly and lovingly. He may harbor some insecurities about you being in public without him. Explain to him that just because you're away from him for the moment, it doesn't mean you're trying to get away from him forever. You know where your heart is. He may be unsure, which is why he may need reassuring.
Good luck!
2007-12-09 21:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by hardrider_x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you're depressed, you're just stressed. i understand your stress i've never been pregnant but my sister went thru the same thing. i think that things dont have to stop if u want to go to school then GO your fiance should understand that its better for you, for him and for your children, &going to school will be an outlet in itself, u will get to meet new people,(maybe get friends that WILL help u out) expand your interest and continue learning. 2nd is having your 2nd child financial possible? also, if he prefers that u stay home, and if you agree maybe u can do online classes, even if u do stay home it can be for just a while, then u can go back to school &going out, get a baby sitter and bring him along of course. Just know that life doesnt end w/kids, it just continues differently.(as my sis likes to say) its important for children to learn to socialize early on, so a daycare is not be a bad idea, findout what u can about it. finally i think u and your fiance need to talk about your options and what U want, b/c a marriage is of 2 people not 1. both wishes and desires count. hope everything works out & Congratulations in advance!!
p.s if u continue to feel extra depressed & stressed u might want to visit your doctor, just 4 a check up b/c a check up never hurt nobody.
2007-12-09 21:28:27 · answer #3 · answered by roses_r16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW...Just always remember that a BABY IS A BLESSING. HOwever you need support of your friends and Family. Wheres mom ? she can be of great help. No it wont be that hard. What you need to do is get at least a part time that will make feel that you are needed and are making your own money. Now that you are pregnat again, get a job for the holidays at a big store such like macys or something as a cashier. At least 3 days a week. It will help you to get out of the house. YOU NEED to speak to your fiance and explain how you are feeling. He needs to understand that you want to make a future too. He can help you. After you have the second baby tell him to stay home at least twice a week and take some college courses at night. ASK him for HELP..... getting a part time will def help u. Trust me. Good luck
2007-12-09 21:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by Amelia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you have depression you will no about it. Trust me just feeling like you cant do your hopes and dreams isnt depression. I hate it when people start feeling a bit low they put it down to depression, I had it for 6 years i was 14 when it started and even waking up in the morning is bad (because you hoped you never would). You have had the ability to have children take it as a blessing, i cant have them so thats anothet thing i have to deal with
2007-12-09 21:14:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though there is possibility that you are depressed. Also, having another child will not stop your life as you will still be able to accomplish your goals and dreams. I have 3 kids, a job and go to school, so it is possible.
2007-12-09 21:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st off just because u will have 2 kids & posibly b settling down with ur fiance , it doesnt mean u have 2 give up ur dreams , many women that have kids & a marrage have still gone after their dreams
2007-12-09 21:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to a Doc or Shrink. Not a question for this group. Your health is too important.
2007-12-09 21:02:24 · answer #8 · answered by Mac 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even with a second child you can enjoy lfe experiences.
that may delay it a bit, but you can still get there. good luck.
2007-12-09 21:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im depressed too. join the club.
when i find something that helps ill be sure to let you know eh
2007-12-09 21:03:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋