I live close to an old friend, we hook up frequently. Lately, I started to fall for her, despite our personalities were worlds apart.
I told her how I felt last week, she said she kinda felt likewise but not sure if she wanted to be with me and we should talk again. One day, she asked me why I wanted her and I said I had no answer, I just felt that way. Then she told me that she’s still not sure but I should not be in a relationship with her as she had a tendency to mess up guys she dated emotionally (she actually did) and that I was a nice guy, I didn’t deserve it. I said I didn’t care about the past and wanted to take my chance. She said that I felt the way I did because I had been spending too much time with her lately. She told me to stay away from her for the next few weeks and let her know if I still felt that same afterwards.
Did she tell me to take some time off just to turn me down in a nice way or did she mean it?
Should I pursue it any further?
What should I do?
2007-12-09 19:27:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
update, it is her b-day this weekend, should I stay away stay still?
2007-12-09 20:53:34 · update #1
Oh, BTW, Thanx 4 the answers guys!
2007-12-09 20:55:22 · update #2
Sometimes putting a bit of distance between you for a while can be a good way of gaining perspective on your relationship. It'll allow you (both) time to sort through your feelings without the hormones getting in the way too much and without the distractions of each other's presence.
You need to recognise that she also needs time to work through her fears about messing you up emotionally; it's not just a one-way thing. Also, note that it'll take a while for you to get over the initial shock to the system emotionally, so don't try to bargain her down to a shorter timeframe.
Just so you know, I was in a similar situation once upon a time - we wound up spending just over seven weeks apart, but I believe our relationship went forward on a better basis after that. And our eleventh wedding anniversary is on Friday. :)
2007-12-09 19:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by Scarlet Manuka 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't keep pursuing her, because then you will look clingy. And she will not respect you for that and will think you are obsessive (I've seen it before). Just hold off for a while like a week or two and then if you still feel uncontrollably attracted to her! then you should follow your instincts!
It sounds like there was some genuine feeling in what she said, but she was initially unsure so maybe she wants some time to think about it aswell, and see if she might feel the same as you........
2007-12-09 19:38:16 · answer #2 · answered by q&a99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. The fact that she is advising you to get away so she does not hurt you really means that she does care for you and really does not want you to suffer on her account. And...
2. This my current situation: I had a real good friend, and confident. She sort of knows everything about me because I told her everything... After some time we started to feel funny for one another. Both of us were a bit afraid of just screwing a good friendship, but after we talked it out we decided to give it a shot and my boy, she turned out to be my perfect woman. Best in bed and all.... So just do it. If it fails you will able to say that at least you tried.
2007-12-09 19:35:47 · answer #3 · answered by Yabran Tariga 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as though she is genuinely scared of hurting you. Find a reason you want to be in a relationship with her. You mentioned that you two are opposites, therefore, maybe you feel complete in her company. Meaning maybe she stands for all you're not. Hey that is why they say opposites attract. I def think you should pursue this with her. It sounds to me like she really want you two to work out. But beware of her tendency :)
2007-12-09 19:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would wait the time...and don't sit and wonder about it the whole time either...see most people wind up going out with their friends because it's comfortable...you don't have to go through all that getting to know each other, you can just be yourself since they already know who and how you are anyway...you need to stop and look at her past relationships and the way she treated men and ask yourself if you want to be treated that way...yeah things might be different for you, but what if their not....then you have possibly thrown away a perfectly good friendship because your lonely and it's comfortable.
2007-12-09 19:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I'm like her. She could have trully told you that, becuase when a woman decides in ony one man, it's only one man. So she wants to be sure that you really love her and you are not playing with her before she can give her self totally to you. I would probably so the same to be sure the guy really loves me and his not playing with my heart, Take care and demonstrate to her you really love her (if you do) and she will be certain.
2007-12-09 19:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by Yayis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she's confused herself about things, and wants one of u two to be sure. so keeping a distance may work, in that, u can think with a clear head exactly what n how u feel. relationships are nearly always a risk. so be prepared for all sorts of things...
2007-12-09 19:33:45 · answer #7 · answered by rum_fun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just wait.. time is really important to make a girl fall in love with you..
2007-12-09 19:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she was just testing you.. pursue.. goodluck
2007-12-09 20:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by blueDotz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
persue
2007-12-09 19:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by sapaye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋