I am divorced. Have been for 7 years. I have 2 children. My son is 11 and my daughter is 2. They both have the same father. I wanted another child but I didn't want a relationship with someone for the wrong reasons. Also, major family issues in my life would keep me from being fair to a man so I skipped the heartache and voila, my beautiful daughter.
My ex-husband wants nothing to do with our daughter. To be fair, he ignores our son too, but he actually pretends that our daughter doesn't exist. His girlfriend, now his wife, hates our daughter because they had been in a relationship for years when she was born. My daughter knows who he is and it kills me that I had to watch her cry when my son recently was telling me about the day he spent with his dad ( 1st time in 4 years ) and she overheard him talking about daddy. What would you do to keep your baby from pain like this? I don't even make him pay child support on her. I knew he was a lousy dad. I didn't know how bad he could be.
2007-12-09 19:00:47 · 9 answers · asked by Amy J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have thought about just cutting him off from my son. I don't want my son to resent me for it though. He resents his dad because he doesn't even remember exactly how old he is. My son loves his little sister and he resents his dad's treatment of her but he can't help that he wants a dad. They spent time together for the first time in over 4 years together last friday. It was awkward but I told my son he needed to try so he never has to wonder what if. While his wife is a complete monster in my opinion. She wants him to forget these children and have some with her, this is his fault! Don't you think a dad should choose his children? I don't mind them having a stepmom, but how about one that is not a witch? And she's not even pretty, she looks like a frog and she has a moustache. (There, I'm done with being petty). He is scared to be alone. With kids, you are never alone. They are always in your heart and vice-versa.
2007-12-09 19:28:22 · update #1
1st of all make his *** pay child support. I garuntee the kids will see thier dad more.
But since he is a dead beat dad maybe it would be a good thing to keep him away.
For your daughter i dont know what to tell you, My heart breaks for you three. Its guys like that; that hurt the rest of us guys. If i had a kid i would want to see them as much as possible. Even if i had a horrible wife my kids would come first. Just realize you ex and hs wife are perfect for each other and sooner or later they will feel the pain from what they are causing.
2007-12-10 04:47:46 · answer #1 · answered by Scott 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those poor kids. Why would you have another baby with a man that you knew was going to be a lousy father? If he hadn't come around in 4 years, how did he get you pregnant the second time?
It sounds like he is at least trying to see his son now. The right thing to do is to encourage that and hope he also includes your daughter when he realizes what an *** he's being. Pushing him away is only going to come back to bite you later on.
It sounds like you are both more concerned about your own wants and needs than your kids.
2007-12-10 03:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by J D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a horrible person this man is. Absolutley horrible. She is so young, I don't think she fully understands whats going on. But, when is she is of an age where she can understand, you should tell her that her 'father' is a father by blood and that is all. Tell her that being a parent has nothing to do with blood, it has to do with who is there for you and who cares for you. Tell her that you are her mommy and that is all she needs. And I think you should go up to your ex-husband and slap him in the face. You should tell him, HEY you had sex with me you got me pregnant, I don't care if you had a gf at the time or not ! This is YOUR child, and you are an evil person for pretending like she's not, what is wrong with you? How can you look at OUR baby and pretends she's not yours? Tell him that maybe one day he will get it and by then his beautiful beautiful little girl will have an amazing life much better off without her good for nothing father! I'm sorry I guess that was mean, but it's the truth. And you SHOULD make him pay child support.
2007-12-09 19:19:46 · answer #3 · answered by Shana H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon.. i'm not trying to be mean, but i would like to say you had another child with a man you don't respect and who you think is a "lousey parent".... so you can't expect miracles from someone like that.
I'm not sure if it's legal to "cut off" the visitation, unless you do not have a legal document which specifies visits... otherwise, i suppose you can do whatever you like.
If the step mother hates your daughter, it's because she's ignorant, immature and sticks her nose where it doesn't belong... how can she hate someone she doesn't know? It's beyond me, too!
If your daughter and son have continuing problems with the father, take them to a therapist... right now of course, i believe the daughter is too young.. so with her focus on OTHER things.. if she brings him up (and if she's only two i don't see why she would?), just change the subject to something she likes (read her a book, whisk her up and take her outside to see the flowers, etc).
Your son is impressionable and he may need someone to talk with in confidence... therapists for children are trained to help, and they can do wonderful things working with a child if he is open to it... he won't know until he tries it.
you take care, and i wish you all the best life has to offer... and your kids too!
2007-12-09 19:39:11 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter, truthfully, will grow having this pain. She'll eventually learn to hide the feeling but for now, let her cry. You just need to tell her that even though her Dad is such an ******, you're there to love and give her what her Dad doesn't give her.
I never grew up with my Dad and I learned to accept it because I watched my mom cried and knew what happened. I grew up not caring at all. Until these recent years, I'm really hurt because I realize how irresponsible my Dad is and how my mom didn't do anything about it- legally (financially). I'm mad at my dad and as well as to my mom. A lot of things have been happening. My suggestion is that, just don't pour everything to your daughter. She will eventually have her own life and just because her time wouldn't be with you someday all the time, does not mean she doesn't love or care for you anymore.
Good luck. Seek legal advice- -financially for your daughter's right.
2007-12-09 19:23:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've made your bed now your daughter has to lay in it, r u insane, well if he is going to be like that hit him with child support, you don't have any reason not to, and she deserves it, so instead of spending the money you get for her in child support, put all and i mean all in the bank to be given to her when she is older, that is if there is any left after therapy, every child deserves to be supported by both parents and you do not have the right to give that right away, and his gf is an immature moron, it's not the child she should be pissed at it should be her husband and you for entering into this bizarre pact, it doesn't sound like a mature person in the bunch of you and naturally the children pay because you wanted another baby, maybe a judge needs to talk to him about cruelty but there is nothing you can legally do about his attitude shame on you did anybody actually read the question, or are you ignoring the fact that this mother got pregnant on purpose so most of the blame here is hers
2007-12-09 19:20:01 · answer #6 · answered by Dale T 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Girl, since you don't make him pay child support or anything, I take it you're financially stable. Would it be such a loss if your children stopped seeing their father? He's obviously a worthless piece of crap so why make them suffer seeing him when he obviously hates being a father to your two kids? If I were you, I'd stop making them see him. If he asks why - just tell him the truth - he has nothing better to offer your kids, you don't need his sorry @ss, you don't need crap from his yucky wife either. If he says he has just the same rights to see his son, tell him he doesn't because he doesn't pay support, he isn't much of a role model, his wife hates your kids and your kids get traumatized everytime they see him. Lets see what happens after that.
2007-12-09 19:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by Equinox 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In your children's case and in many , many, others the pain and heartache inflicted by the biological parent is worse than not having a parent at all, which your children doesn't have anyway.
2007-12-09 21:46:13 · answer #8 · answered by mom23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love; Who you love what you love To love is the meaning of life and the whole meaning of life.
2016-04-08 05:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋