How can I get rid of regret?

Question

I'd like to believe in things happening for a reason, but some mistakes in my past seem to have led to more pain in my present life. When I was eight I received a scholarship to a prestigious ballet school in my city. I didn't really comprehend how lucky I was, and I only was happy to join my friends who were already at the school. I missed the first week due to scheduling conflicts, and my first day at the school during the second was hell. I remember crying and begging my mom to let me quit, and, even though she warned me that I'd regret it, she took me out of the class.

10 years later I feel the impact of my decision. I realized how much I wanted to pursue dance in some way, but I don't have the experience other dancers my age have. I lost out in an audition, which was a real blow. I take dance classes whenever I can, but I feel inadequate and I can't help wondering what would have happened had I stuck it out at the ballet school. Can someone PLEASE let me know why this happened?

Thank you for all who have answered. I love how everyone's advice is different; it gives me perspective from all sides. I TRULY appreciate it.

To answer someone's question: I'm attending college and pursuing a double major in psychology and biology. I'm still unsure of what I want my occupation to be because I want to be so many things (including a dancer). I thought I move on from dance and focus on other areas (hence my non-dance majors) but every time I hear of ballet or ballerina or young dancer, my heart feels heavy and I feel an overwhelming pain.

Answer 1

I was a music major in college and just before my senior year I switched majors. I had regret about this for many years. I would also say I grieved for about five years after doing this. Now it has been many many years since I did this and I feel good about the life I have had. I also wouldn't have met certain people in my life if it hadn't gone the way it did. I'm glad for those people who have been in my life and what I do now. So, years from now, you may look at it differently. My life may have been wonderful if I had continued in music, but it wouldn't be what I have now and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

Answer 2

there is nothing we can do to change our pasts. Just live life in the present. There are no should haves.
you also did not let us know what you are doing today, but maybe it was fate, intuition, or some other reason dance did not work out for you. Be happy with what you have today. Dance is a great occupation, but a hard working one , like acting and singing, where only very few people are fortunate to make a steady if not famous living off of it. You might be living through things as as you wish to see them, not as they really are.

Answer 3

I believe the decision you made was for a reason. But it is possible that that decision wasn't made to effect you but someone else around you. It is sad that you now realize how much you love dance. But your 18 now. Any one especially at the prime of their life (in terms of age and the biological concepts of the body) can acheive he goals they wanted. If you truly want to be a dancer then you will become a phenomenal one. But only if you choose so. The reason all of this happens is a reason no one knows. Hopefully everything works out for you. But know you would be who you are today without that decision.

Answer 4

Things don't just happen for a reason. Most of life is random and incomprehensible. You did make a choice, albeit that of a child, and you have to take responsibility for that. Your mother made a choice too and who knows if it was the right one or not. But the simple truth that will hopefully ease your mind is that everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect and no one in their right mind expects themselves to be perfect or expects anyone else to be perfect.

If you embrace this truth then you can forgive your eight year old self and your mother for not forcing you to continue or finding some way to make it work.

This doesn't mean you can't continue to work at what you're passionate about, just that you don't beat yourself up about our failures. Keep at it, die hard, or quit if you have to and find something else to focus on.

Only someone who cares about a thing will ever become good at it.

Answer 5

I know someone who took a year off from acedemic college to attend Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle in dance. After a year she said she love dance but missed the intellectual aspect, and went on to become a psychiatrist . Moral? Your life is not over at 20.

Answer 6

I discovered an prolonged time in the past to no longer remorseful approximately something. First, i can not turn returned time to the main suitable option some issues I even have carried out that had undesirable outcomes. 2d, if I even have harmed everybody by my habit, I make amends to the main suitable option the incorrect. 0.33, i attempt to learn from my errors, notwithstanding how massive or small. finally, I known that who i'm in the present day is the sum entire of each little thing that has occurred in my existence, alongside with my very own behaviors, the two beneficial and troublesome. remorseful approximately (and the ensuing rigidity and worry) over previous behaviors serves to end little. although, recognizing blunders in options and researching to no longer repeat them serves you lots extra powerful. So it is alright to stop beating your self up, learn out of your errors and flow forward with a purer coronary heart. maximum suitable needs

Answer 7

We should NEVER hope to "get rid of regret". When we have regrets, it is an oppertunity to LEARN. When we learn, we are more apt to make better decisions with our lives.

You are best to remember your past, but move forward with your life.

Answer 8

I think you should experience more and join more activities, show you a good site to let you meet more people.http://www.militaryfriends.com/photo/roseyew