I read my 13 year old doughters diary and she put that she is pregnat...how do I confront her the right way???

Question

the question is pretty much self explanatory. How do I go about this??? She had all the details that really scare me about this and now that I betraid her trust, she will hate me. WHAT WOULD YOUD????

I notised that a screen door was off the window a few nights a few months ago but I didnt think that it was anything. I guess now that she was going out the window???OR this perpadrator was coming in...SO I guess he is over 16 and his name is Bones.

I thougt she was a virgin

she is at her dads tonight

I am so sad

Answer 1

DONT BE SAD " BUNDLE "

look on the bright side , at least your kid will have a "study buddy " they will be so close in age

and of course think of all the financial benefits !!!!

theres real good prize money in those " glamorous Grannie " competitions

and with your looks you will romp them


" oh yeah " and tell " bones " i am coming over to break a few of his

all the best
Ian :)

Answer 2

She won't hate you forever, but she will learn how to not get caught. Say the neighbors saw someone prowling around, and then ask her honestly if she is sexually active. Explain that you want to discuss this, and protect her from an unwanted pregnancy. If she really thinks she is pregnant, chances are she is so scared she will spill first change she gets. Don't yell or scream, but put her on birth control, you can't control her 24/7, and if she is determined, she will find a way. Just worry about helping her not, to save the rest of he life. The nail the windows shut when she is gone and put in flood lights and send Dad after the boy to have a talk. Good job watching out for her though, you are a great mom.

Answer 3

Firstly take a deep breath, be armed with as much information as you can in regards to her up-coming options. Then you could say "I've noticed you seem a bit off color, is everything ok?" or "you seem to be gaining a little weight". Use an open question to allow her to express herself, hopefully she will open up to you.
If she does open up, you need to remain calm and supportive, even if this means biting your tongue really hard, this is not the time to explode over "who's the father", "can't believe you did this". Comments like this will only isolate her further.
If your daughter does not open up, watch her eyes and body language and comment on these. eg "you weren't looking at me when you said that, are you sure there is nothing wrong, because you know I am always here to talk about anything".
Hopefully this is some help for you, good luck.

Answer 4

I'm 14 and I stopped writing in my diary when I was 3.
(that way if I were guilty of something it would slowly eat away my soul)

Agree with earlier answers above. Try to get her to open up on her own.
Trust me, my mother was 18 when she had me. She admits she was so not ready to have a kid at that age (totally understand).
Sure you read her diary (that's how my aunt found out my mom's pregnancy), she'll probably yell at you for invading her privacy. Don't let her out the door or up to her room.
(if you decide to be straight forward)

Otherwise---
Tell her she looks a little bloated, abnormal (kinda scare her). Ask her to lay on the couch to check her belly (scowl and "hmm" a bit as you do so). Finally say something like somethings wrong and you need to call the hospital, that should work.
(my aunt and grams looked in a medical book and found some inflammation thing and that's how they got my mom to fess up)

1.) You are NOT her friend. You ARE her mother. <<<
You shouldn't care if your child "hates you". <<<
I've told my mother plenty of times how I hated her. She told me the same words above.

2.) She told a stupid book instead of coming to you.

3.) When was she planning on telling you? After the baby was born in a toilet then dumped in a trash can!

Answer 5

There IS a way to "find out" about her secret without her ever having to know you saw her diary. Go to her and tell her you think it's time to have her first gynocological exam since she is now 13 and has probably started her period. It'll be a good excuse and she's young enough to not question it as being weird. Now, 1 of 2 things will happen:

1) she'll panic at the mere thought of going to the dr's office because she's sure you'll find out and she'll just CONFESS because kids will do that when they feel there's no other choice OR

2) she'll go to the dr with you and try to act like nothing's wrong. then, a week later, tell her you got a call from the dr telling you that she was pregnant. it won't be a lie. You can tell the dr ahead of time that you'd like a pregnancy test done on your daughter. She probably won't even realize she's being given a preg test since all they do is have you pee in a cup.

i know it sounds sneaky but this way, she'll have a way of being honest with you without finding out how her privacy has been compromised. if you just came up to her and told her you found out by reading her diary, my fear is that on top of the stress she's feeling over this, she would then just push you away and perhaps do something rash or that might compromise her SAFETY. the last thing you need right now is her getting so angry that she moves out or something crazy.

Answer 6

I think since you have already read what was private I think maybe you should just hinting at things. Ask her if there is anything she would like to talk about with and just try and spend more time with her.

If after a week she does not tell you, then I think you are going to have to come right out and just ask her is she is seeing someone and is she pregnant

If you wait too long she may do something that could put her health and that baby's health at risk. Tough job being a parent, especially to a teenager!

Answer 7

For you to have a 13 year old daughter, you would have to be at least in your mid to late twenties. The maturity and spelling level of your post sounds more like a 13 year old girl playing a prank on Yahoo.

I think you are a teenage girl who is wanting to see people's reactions to the idea of a mother reading a daughter's diary.

A good book for you to read would be "Death of the Heart" by Elizabeth Bowen. It is about a teenage girl whose life is shattered by her relative reading her diary and the situation which develops out of control after that.

Answer 8

Well, if was my daughter, I'd confront her about it right away. Why is there a need to beat around the bush if she's pregnant? That's a pretty big deal especially at 13. She'll be mad at you for reading her diary, but I assume you had suspicion to do so beforehand and you just want to know what's going on with your kid. It's a tricky situation because I think people do need their privacy, but she's just a kid and you have to be her mom.

Answer 9

have a nice talk with your daughter...take her out, watch a movie or a restaurant or have ice cream, go to a park. Bond with her put her at ease so she will open up with you. tell a story about teenage pregnancy, sight an example.. in that way she will have an idea on what your opinion will be on that matter. Don't be hysterical. Be calm. Don't get mad, its not her fault she's still a child. Ask her if she can take care of her baby. It's a not a mistake to have a child because it is a blessing even if the baby is still in her womb.

Answer 10

She's going to be furious if she finds out you read her diary. I think the best way to go about it is to somehow encourage her to tell you - she's got to know that you're going to find out in the end anyway, so you could try dropping some subtle hints.. for example, you could raise the idea of getting her on the contraceptive pill - once you get to see a nurse, she's going to ask your daughter straight out if there's any chance she's pregnant.

Just remember to make her feel that you're there for her no matter what - she's got to understand that you won't be angry if she tell you.

Answer 11

i'd talk to her father as well before approaching her. i would honestly make something up for ex. say .." I just read an article about a 14 yr old getting pregnant blah,blah,blah. Gosh, I hope she has a good relationship w/ her mother so she can talk to her about this and let her know that she is not alone , blah,blah "
..... wait for her response and hopefully this will open the door to communication. I'm a mother of 3 girls and I'm scared to death. i hope everything will be alright