Tell me what you think please...?

Question

Would you be upset if your teenage daughter was in a serious relationship with someone of another religion and going to church/temple with them. Even if your not a religious person, would you feel disrespected if your daughter was doing this. BTW I don't mind her with someone of another religion, I just don't like the fact that she's behind my back going to church/temple with him. I feel that is unnessesary. I don't practice my religion much but I know what I am and respect that. I chose to not tell you my religion. I don't want anyone to feel disrespected when that's not what I'm trying to do.

She goes behind my back because she knows it will upset me. We aren't religious but my children were brought up knowing what they are and how deeply I feel about it. We just don't go to church/temple. I'm trying to explain, but it's difficult. Unfortunately her boyfriends mother seems a bit prejudice about our religion (I haven't met her yet but my daughter tells me about things she says) this just makes the whole issue worse.

She goes behind my back because she knows it will upset me. We aren't religious but my children were brought up knowing what they are and how deeply I feel about it. We just don't go to church/temple. I'm trying to explain, but it's difficult. Unfortunately her boyfriends mother seems a bit prejudice about our religion (I haven't met her yet but my daughter tells me about things she says) this just makes the whole issue worse.

Sorry...did not mean to post that twice lol

She turned 17 two weeks ago

Answer 1

I might be upset if my daughter was attending the services of a religion I disagreed with. But that would be MY problem, to deal with MY upset.

If your daughter is 16 or over, she's going to be experimenting with making her own choices and trying out new things. Nothing you can do to change that, all you can change is how you handle it, and how you deal with her.

Frankly, if she's attending services with her boyfriend/girlfriend, her interest in the religion will probably fade when the relationship does. I think your best bet is to wait it out without saying anything. In the end, religion is a personal choice, and you can't force her to believe what you do. Trying to do that will only make her stubborn and drive her further away.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

I think that you should discuss it with your daughter. Tell her how you feel. Some religions are against relationships involving other religions and you need to seriously talk to her about that whether it is your opinion or not. It may not be an issue with you but it may be an issue with his family, and it may be something that could come back to haunt her down the road. My family is non-denominational and my sister married a Catholic. This was upsetting to both of our families.

Answer 3

Geez, whatcha worried about? God's in charge of everything. What's with all this emotion you're investing into the situation? Watch out or you will push her into it, then what? You'll only have yourself to blame. Does your happiness really depend on your daughter's actions? SUPPORT HER!!! Whether she continues or not!!! You are free to live your own life!!!! Take a course in music or pottery or join a local gym and get in shape. She's an adult and can make her own decisions. Get to know the love of her life's culture and find something GOOD about it!!!!

Sheesh

Answer 4

If you dont practice your religion why do you care if she chooses to practice a different one?

Maybe because you dont make religion a very big priority she either doesnt think you would understand that she is choosing to go to another church or she doesnt think you would think it was that big of a deal since you dont seem to make it a big deal in your life.

This would be like you getting annoyed if someone rooted for a different sports team right in front of you other than the one you like even though you havent watched a game in the last 20 years.

Answer 5

If you haven't practiced your faith, you've given your daughter the impression that it isn't really that important. "Do as I say and not as I do" doesn't really work with kids. If you wanted her to be more involved her your church, you should have been, too.

You can sit down with her and discuss your beliefs and find out more about the new church (or whatever) that she is attending and tell her why you don't approve of it.

Answer 6

If you're not religious and didn't raise your daughter with your beliefs, you have no cause to be disrespected by her - there was nothing to disrespect.

You don't say how old she is though, and she shouldn't be sneaking around anywhere behind your back.

But regarding the religion thing - you're going to have to accept that she is choosing her own path.

Answer 7

It has never been more serious as a problem as it is today.
Christianity has done every thing oppose to what Yahoshua
asked of them.
If these are the last days christainity is in big trouble.
Infact the Bible calls it Jacob's trouble.

Answer 8

Well...frankly, if you "don't practice your religion much," you've kind of left the door open for her to do what she's doing. It doesn't sound like her upbringing left her with the impression that you would care what church/temple she attends--or, at least, it didn't leave the impression that she should talk to you about it.

Answer 9

You need to know what your daughter is doing........whatever it is. You need to talk to her alone, then with the both of them, to share their views and why does she feel the need to do it behind your back. Even though you may get upset, you still need to know, this is YOUR daughter. Your daughter probably feels you will criticize and not understand. Explain to her that you will try to understand.

Answer 10

From the sound of it, you assume your daughter knows you would not be upset...but perhaps she thinks you would be. Why don't you talk to her? You might find that it's just a miscommunication.