I met this guy in Paris. He is from Italy. Then I went to China for work. He has visited me twice in Paris and twice in the Far East. That's a total of three years long distance relationship. We both spent a lot of money in internaional phone calls, sms. We chat almost everyday on yahoo. I have been trying to get employment in his area Luxembourg, but it's not one of the easiest places to find work as a teacher. But inspite of how much he "loves" me, he is not willing or ready to marry me, since he said it's against his principles. But I don't see it that way. We love each other and this distance is causing us a great deal of pain. Besides, he said I'm one woman he truly enjoys conversations and exchange of ideas, even outside of the relationship. Now I'm working on getting an employment contract in Spain, it's nearer to Luxembourg than China just to stay nearer to him. I'm now very close, it will take less than a year. But he says he wants to stop this relationship.
2007-12-09 17:41:50 · 9 answers · asked by Katie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
But just this year in January our relationship underwent one of the biggest trials. He left me for a girl from Lithuania. I set him free. What good is it staying with a man who does not want you anymore? Then two months later he came back to me, saying that he went wrong. I was scared to take him back for fear he might dump me again. He promised to never leave me. So I took him back.
He visited me in Beijing in July of this year and we spent 3 weeks together.
Right now, he is telling me how much he loves me and that I'm now an important part of his life. Yesterday he said he wants to move on since our relationship is "impossible". But he wants to keep me as a friend. I love him so much, I'm willing to move around the world for him. But seeing him with another woman would only break my heart to pieces. Afterall he broke his promise never to leave me again. To all more 26+ individuals out there, please tell me what would you do if you were in my shoes
2007-12-09 17:43:05 · update #1
He has been dishonest with you. You can't change a dishonest person. Don't put all of your stock into a relationship that is on shaky ground. Move on and find someone that will be able to commit to you. Why waste any more of your young years on him?
I stayed with a man for twelve years that would not commit. He kept saying that it would happen eventually. It didn't, and by the time I left him, I realized that I was 12 years older with less to offer, and fewer opportunities to choose from. Don't waste your life too. You deserve better.
2007-12-09 17:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to the age difference, age is nothing but a number.You could be 15 and be more mature then someone who is 22. It all depends, honestly. If you are serious about this person, and they are serious about you, it can work. I'm almost 18, and my boyfriend is almost 21. We have been together since I was 16, so put that into perspective. As for the long distance, that depends. You can't have a relationship for long amounts of time being that far away from each other. It will eventually create trust issues, and cause fights. You're going to want some physical attraction eventually so you are going to want that person with you. There is going to be a lot of traveling, or possibly moving. All in all, what I am trying to say is that, if you are both willing, then it shouldn't create too much of a problem. It's just going to be hard on the both of you, and I hope you are both willing to deal with the stress that comes along.
2016-05-22 10:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing about long distance relationships is that they select for the commitment-phobes... It's so easy to say "I love you" when the consequences of saying it are near-meaningless.
And, as far as I've ever seen, anti-marriage "principles" go right out the window when a guy is really in love. When he's in love, he'll be ready to marry you.
That's how you tell that this one isn't on the right track. Not to say that you shouldn't go to Spain. But find a nice young Spanish man to love. Nearby.
... Love is a lot about proximity and familiarity. It's not romantic to say that, but it is.
Good luck!
2007-12-09 17:54:31 · answer #3 · answered by Little Red Hen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd forget about him, and move on with my life here. You really don't get to know a person until you've lived with them for quite some time, and a few weeks here and there + phone calls is NOT truly living with and learning about someone.
I know this isnt what you want to hear, but you're his "fantasy" girl - he can be whoever he wants to be, or who you want him to be while hes talking to you. It's not really him. Thats why he doesn't want things moving forward at all. He knows the fantasy would be over, and he's not interested in reality. He uses you to escape from it now.
It sounds like a facade, even though he probably does care for you. Thats why he doesnt want you moving to where he is - he'd have to let down the facade and disappoint you, or disappoint himself, and lose the fantasy of it all. You give him attention in the ways he needs it to feel good about himself, and its safe that way, because you're miles and miles away. He can carry on with business as usual at home, and no matter what he's done that day, he can talk to you at night and feel like a good man who is desired and loved unconditionally.
You deserve more than that. You don't have to build up a man that far away - especially one who claims to care for you that much. If he really cared that much, he would have moved near you by now, or jumped at the chance for you to move near him. He's dragging his feet because he doesn't want the party to be over. Its going to hurt, but lose him.
2007-12-09 17:50:48 · answer #4 · answered by boots6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would dump him and find another that will never dump me and stay with me and never broke my heart so take my advice in move on find someone that will never hurt u or lie that will take care of u 4 ever
2007-12-09 17:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would move on. It sounds like he prefers the distance because it allows him to do things with other people. Don't rearrange your life for him, because he is not willing to do it for you. If you move this relationship seems like it will end, he doesn't want anything serious from you.
2007-12-09 17:53:38 · answer #6 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell no. When a guy leaves you for another girl and comes crawling back don't accept him back in you're life because he might do it again! you can never trust a guy like that. No wonder why he didn't wanna marry you.
2007-12-09 17:49:11 · answer #7 · answered by Bassima(God Bless Palestine) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wash that man right outta your hair!
2007-12-09 17:46:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOOOOOOOOVE ON. dont waste any more time than you have already.
2007-12-09 17:50:02 · answer #9 · answered by out of control 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋