Miserable at work?

Question

So I just moved out to the southeast from the west coast and well....I'm miserable. I moved here for a job and am contracted to work for a couple of years. I'm terribly homesick and have no family or friends out here. I'm fairly inexperienced in my line of work, but am fortunate to be where I am considering my lack of experience. I knew that getting in to this. My boss ( the guy who believes in me and hired me, despite it all) and I discussed this when I was offered the job. Yet I am having a hard time dealing with resentment from others who make me feel as I do not belong here. I know I may sound totally cerebral, but I'm a pleaser and can't help but let this get to me. HOW DO I COPE? Sometimes I feel like this was the biggest mistake, while at other times I feel extremely lucky.

Answer 1

Give it time. You didn't mention how long you've been out there, but you've undergone some major adjustments. Either a new job or a move are stressful enough, but to tackle both at the same time can be very hard on someone initially. You'll pick up on the job within a few months (there's a reason your manager has faith in you) and that should help quiet the people who are giving you a hard time. In the meantime, just know that they are feeling protective /territorial over what they do and are unsure of someone new coming in and how its going to change things. Over time you should also adjust to the new town and start to make friends. It wouldn't hurt to proactively try to find ways to mingle, like joining a club or just getting out and exploring the new city. Keep in close touch with your old friends through phone calls and email, which will help you when times feel especially tough, but start to notice what it is you do like about where you are and the people around you. It won't be immediate, but I would bet after 6 months, you'll feel differently than you do now. If not, you can always move back. Employment contracts are never set in stone.

Answer 2

Being homesick is completely normal and even if you were happy you'd still be feeling it. It's worse for you because you don't have a personal life in your new city. I think you need to get to work on that right now. If you don't go to church think about going, if you aren't into that find another group that you are interested in and get out there. Find a club nearby that has dart or pool tournaments and start playing. Join a bowling league, a walking club, a book club, etc - anything that will get you among people with similar interests. You'll start making friends and they will distract you from how much you miss your old friends, family, town, life. You'll still miss all of that but you won't be able to dwell on it.

Answer 3

First, you should never move far away like you did alone. Second, you should never move that far a job esp. if its a contract job. If I were, I would go out into the nightlife and find some friends. Start hanging with people your age at your life. Ask some of your family members to come visit you or to send their kids to spend the summer at your house. Otherwise I would leave the job, contract or not. Try going back home for the holidays. Eventually you like the area if your committed to making it work.

Answer 4

You might feel better at this is you raise your self esteem and make new friends where you are now. If he believes in you to have given you the job you can do it - unless he did that to have you under his control, a whole nother story. It sounds like you are not trying hard enough to please yourself though and the site I will give you should help - clibk on the tab for self esteem. Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

Allow me to share you my experience:

Boy do I know how YOU feel (just posted a similar question). I too am inexperienced in my line of work (food porter at a hospital), where I'm good at some things (cleaning the dishroom, washing silverware/plates) and bad at others (sweeping/mopping). I deal with a LOT of hostility and I only been there almost two months.

The problem is I'm mature for my age (so I'm considered), (20), and most of the guys close to my age are all in their own clique and I really don't feel how some of them slack. Most of the older gentlemen are rude to me (even though I respect them) or don't want to speak english (they're filipino).

The ladies are ALL older and some of them are nice but none of them are porters therefore they aren't in my exact area much. I tend to get along with women easier since I'm calm, respectful, and mind my manners but where I'm working at I deal with men who are men. They get confused at any politeness I show them and think I shouldn't care about anything like they do.

I'm grateful I work where I'm at now because I left four years of working in a miserable place where I dealt with rude customers on a 95% basis and a middle aged boss who wouldn't keep his hands to himself when it came to me (he was gay). But while I'll never go back to my ex-job, I really want to leave this place so I know what your saying.

Sometimes its good to start out fresh. I spent four years procrastinating leaving my original ex-job, I stuck it out because there were (few) good times but ultimately I suffered and was paid little (most of the minimum wage I earned working there was all spent). I don't know about this one. I'm already seeing problems, including a supervisor who acts very unprofessional, a bad rap and treatment from doctors and nurses and overall stress of just GOING there.

I know good and bad come with ALL jobs, but I myself am getting to my point and that is just two months. I too am a pleaser, I like people to LIKE me. I can do just that with the co-workers I'm NOT around and their position isn't open to me at this present time. I can't deal with a place where most people don't like me and don't even have ONE work-friend or buddy (I tried already and it just isn't happening).

So, my advice is to leave and start out fresh. Trust me it'll do you good in the long run. I'm planning the same thing in about a month.