My stepdad, who is my only dad as far as I 'm concerned. He has Asperger's which is a form of autism, and I know that it makes him somewhat distant. He can't really connect with anyone on a deep level. I understand this and love him anyway. He and my momdivorced when i was 11, but he remained treating me like his daughter. he has no biological children. Now, I know that he can say the words "I love you. " I have heard him say it to my mom and my aunt. Yet, he has never said those words to me. I know he does love me, he shows it on other ways, and has since I was a kid. But I am 22 years old now, and although it may seem like a petty thing, I really want my dad to tell me loves me. Just once. Then I'll be happy. But I don't want to make him uncomfortable. How should I approach this? Or would it be better to just let it go? He doesn't have to say it every day. Just once.
2007-12-09 16:35:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i have 2 daughters and trust me, he loves you.
you should ask him if he would sit down and talk to you about something important to you and then explain your feelings to him. my guess is he might think that he is not your real dad and might think that he might offend you if he said he loved you.
take a shot you might get a big hug and a I love you.
2007-12-09 16:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think he has given a lot already or been with you for a longtime. Committing himself to you and your mom. I am a parent and growing kids, you can only give the best you can while they are kids.He is waiting for you to confirm that everything he has done has paid off well. I think you must take the iniciative to tell him you love him. When you do he'll know that after being committed in this relationship was a good choice. He will know that he is finally confirmed part of the family. That just completes the circle. He'll know that he is part of the family, that you guys are confirmed a family. Sometimes when committing yourself to something like this, you can only commite based on being a good individual, but you never no how welcome you really are until it is confirmed. It can only bring you guys closer together and it is a great Chrismas present for your father.
2007-12-09 19:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by meintjiela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say it first! I too, had a Step-Dad for most of my life! He told me he loved me on my wedding day (I was 25) just before He walked me down the aisle! Many times after as well,( He & my Mom were divorced too ) But I often wonder now, as He has sinced passed, if he wasn't sure how I felt until I asked Him to "give me away"!
2007-12-09 16:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by DORY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have an uncomplicated communicate with your mom. tell her which you had a hard time dealing with the doorstep father and that it nonetheless is a war for you presently. tell her you worry the twins will face comparable subject concerns in the event that they ought to circulate via an identical subject. She won't respond properly to it, yet then it will be her making the alternative to draw back and not you. in the adventure that your mom rejects your suggestion yet nonetheless needs a courting with you, then you definately can decide how in contact you desire to be at that ingredient. in spite of the undeniable fact that, i think of it would be properly worth sticking around for the twins sake. As they become previous they might like having an older sister they might get away to who knows what they're dealing with. reliable luck.
2016-11-15 02:50:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousin also has a form of autism not so severe but in many aspects you can see he is in his own world. It is thier world thier rules, regulation and routine. Although you step-father may not say "I LOVE YOU" directly he does have a specific way of showing his emotions toward you that is differnt with others. Gaining confidence and trust is a biggie, once you have gained his trust and confidence you will always be a lasting person in his life. See him for who he is and not his condition. He knows you love him and he does love you just in his own way.
2007-12-09 16:47:55 · answer #5 · answered by Angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first start the conversation off with informing him how appreciative you are of having him as a father figure. Also how much he means to you and how you will never forget that he stuck around after he and your mother separated. Tell him how he has always been your father and always will be. Then end with saying that i just wanted to tell you exactly why i love you(and give him plenty of time to respond).
2007-12-09 16:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you tell him that you love him? Next time your leaving give him a hug and a kiss (if you can) and say I love you. Keep saying it and he will eventually say it back to you. And you can also thank him for being your Dad. Great thing to say around Christmas. . .
2007-12-09 16:40:37 · answer #7 · answered by towanda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might be afraid of saying it to you because he and your mom divorced.
If you want him to say it, you might have to say it first.
If that doesn't work just give it time.
If you know he loves you and he shows it then that is great. You're lucky because some parents just say it, and don't show it.
But you can't push him to say it if he feel uncomfortable with it.
I would say it to him first to get him to say it back though.
2007-12-09 16:40:42 · answer #8 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want him to say it, you'll have to tell him. If you are relaxed about it and say something like 'I'm so lucky I've had you to guide me as I grew up. It would mean a lot to me to hear you tell me "I love you." If you are relaxed and warm about it, he will likely do just what you ask.
2007-12-09 17:01:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he react when you tell him you love him? Sometimes things don't have to be put into words, and maybe he loves you so much that the phrase "I love you" doesn't express it enough for him.
2007-12-09 16:39:32 · answer #10 · answered by emn316 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋