is it normal to still be suffering from am abusive realtionship that ended 6 years ago?

Question

Mostly the abuse was emotional but would get physical at times either to myself or he would hurt himself. I had to move and make myself unable to find. Sometimes I still have nightmares or thoughts about events but mainly the whole 4 years is a blur of bad memories.I have been unable to get into any lasting relationship since. Is it normal to still be dealing with this so strongly six years later?

Answer 1

WOW - I never thought of it as "still suffering" - but now that someone else has put out there what I've been dealing with for the past 8 or 9 years...yep, I guess I'm still suffering.

I have nightmares that he finds me at home, or at work or that I ended up marrying him - sometimes I wake up crying. I have these nightmares at least 5 times a month since leaving him.

I had the same type of abuse with this person- mostly mental and a few times physical. After I ended the relationship - it still took 4 restraining orders to get him to stop contacting me.

I still work at the same place so he does every 1 or 2 years call me and I hang up on him.

I did eventually marry after I left him -
He doesn't know my new last name, where I live, my new phone numbers - but I always have this fear in the back of my mind that he's going to find me.

So...I guess it is normal - seeing that multiple people are suffering in similar ways after similar types of relationships end.

Answer 2

Yes, I think it is completely normal to still be suffering from an abusive relationship. I also believe that emotional abuse is worse than physical (unless you get really really badly injured), because emotional abuse sticks with you for so much longer, it forms scars deeper than those of physical nature. I was in a horrible relationship myself many years ago in which my partner abused me emotionally, threatened my physically and completely took advantage of the trust that I gave him. For about 4 years after that, I couldn't stay with someone for longer than a month. I had massive trust issues and just wouldn't allow someone to get close to me, and when I could see someone getting close I would subconciously cut them off and then distance myself. I finally found someone that I wanted to be with and fell in love with, and all has been OK. But the funny thing about it was that I actually dated this guy for a little bit a couple years before we actually got together and he was one of those that I cut off. You will know when the time is right, and you will meet someone that you will be able to trust and be close to. But you will always remember this relationship, unfortunately, it's something that will obviously always stick, and you've got to try and take the positives out of it, instead of the negatives (which is hard, I know), but look at it as shaping the person you are today, something that has made you a stronger person. You're not alone, it isn't uncommon for people to be horrifically abused by another. Maybe you should see someone for counsilling, honestly that can be very very good for you, the power of a third person is a strong one. Good luck with everthing, and I'm so sorry to hear of your misfortune.

Answer 3

6 years is a pretty long time. I hope you can seek counselling or talk to a doctor about it. It's possible you may need to do both--depending on how severe it is.

I'm not sure if "post traumatic stress" is accurate or not--that's supposed to be related to extreme events like being raped or seeing people killed in front of you. You say the abuse was "physical at times" but I'm not sure what you mean by that. It's really up to a doctor to give a diagnosis; not a bunch of random people on the internet.

Answer 4

First of all you have to ask questions to yourself? Where did I go wrong? Is there something wrong with me? You have to clean up your conscience first and after that you have to start forgiving yourself so that you can forgive your partner. Hurting emotionally is very difficult to accept that physical hurt because the aches travel from head to toe which means the whole part of your body suffer that emotional aches so that why 6 years is not enough to heal the wounds of the past and It will not give you happiness if you always think of the past. The only thing I can suggest you is to a quiet place, reflect your past activity, accept your own weaknessess ask forgiveness from the Lord and forgive yourself then forgive him too. Learn from your lessons do not do it again try to use your heart always lower your pride, accept the weaknessess of every person and live with God as the center of everything , pray always because I believe that prayer is the only weapon to fight evil. For this you can have a happy and peaceful life. Good luck . . .

Answer 5

It is normal. It's called post traumatic stress. It is only natural when you've had episodes in your life when it felt like you were being put in danger. I've experienced the exact same thing myself and councelling realllly helped...talking about the abuse helped give me back my power because it got those blurs of bad memories OUT from eating me up inside. If you choose to just let it keep going like it is, years from now you very well may suffer from depression and anxiety. So the good news is that you CAN gain control over this - my very best to you :-)

Answer 6

6 years is an prolonged time to be with somebody - DO you think of and experience that for the duration of time you'll be taught to believe lower back. cheating is an undesirable subject to be on the receiving end of...do you comprehend why he cheated. there is an danger it ought to take place lower back if there are nonetheless stunning subject concerns on your courting - how approximately having a while residing aside - yet proceed to be sure eachother - that way you variety of initiate courting eachother lower back and it stops you the two being stale - grow to be a sparkling you - get your hair cut back have a private revamp and get your self observed, an hardship-free wolf whistle can perk your self assurance in your self up while strolling down the line!! additionally via having this day out from residing with eachother, as much because it could injury, you additionally can evaluate the shape you experience approximately him and the situation. reliable luck Hunny i'm hoping you detect whats right for you ......: )

Answer 7

It is definitely normal, but to an extent. It could require 4-17 years of time to reconcile with abuse, however; some never recover. I suggest you deeply sort the problems in your mind. You need to have constructive sit down with yourself, and determine what is the eventual problem.

Answer 8

If someone punished you, chances are you are punishing YOU as well ( and for no good reason any more just habbit)

STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Humans do self punish
BREAK THE CYCLE NOW so you can enjoy life as you deserve and you wont TOLERATE external abuse too !

Answer 9

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an emotional illness that develops as a result of a terribly frightening, life-threatening, or otherwise highly unsafe experience. PTSD sufferers re-experience the traumatic event or events in some way, tend to avoid places, people, or other things that remind them of the event (avoidance), and are exquisitely sensitive to normal life experiences (hyperarousal). Although this condition has likely existed since human beings have endured trauma, PTSD has only been recognized as a formal diagnosis since 1980. However, it was called by different names as early as the American Civil War, when combat veterans were referred to as suffering from "soldier's heart." In World War I, symptoms that were generally consistent with PTSD were referred to as "combat fatigue." Soldiers who developed such symptoms in World War II were said to be suffering from "gross stress reaction," and many who fought in Vietnam who had symptoms of what is now called PTSD were assessed as having "post-Vietnam syndrome." PTSD has also been called "battle fatigue" and "shell shock." Complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) usually results from prolonged exposure to a traumatic event or series thereof and is characterized by long-lasting problems with many aspects of emotional and social functioning.

Approximately 7%-8% of people in the United States will likely develop PTSD in their lifetime, with the lifetime occurrence (prevalence) in combat veterans and rape victims ranging from 10% to as high as 30%. Somewhat higher rates of this disorder have been found to occur in African Americans, Hispanics, and Native Americans compared to Caucasians in the United States. Some of that difference is thought to be due to higher rates of dissociation soon before and after the traumatic event (peritraumatic); a tendency for individuals from minority ethnic groups to blame themselves, have less social support, and an increased perception of racism for those ethnic groups; as well as differences between how ethnic groups may express distress. Other important facts about PTSD include the estimate of 5 million people who suffer from PTSD at any one time in the United States and the fact that women are twice as likely to develop PTSD as men.

Almost half of individuals who use outpatient mental-health services have been found to suffer from PTSD. As evidenced by the occurrence of stress in many individuals in the United States in the days following the 2001 terrorist attacks, not being physically present at a traumatic event does not guarantee that one cannot suffer from traumatic stress that can lead to the development of PTSD.

PTSD statistics in children and teens reveal that up to more than 40% have endured at least one traumatic event, resulting in the development of PTSD in up to 15% of girls and 6% of boys. On average, 3%-6% of high school students in the United States and as many as 30%-60% of children who have survived specific disasters have PTSD. Up to 100% of children who have seen a parent killed or endured sexual assault or abuse tend to develop PTSD, and more than one-third of youths who are exposed to community violence will suffer from the disorder.