Age difference?

Question

My boyfriend is 19 and 4 months. I am 14 and 8 months.

We have been best friends FOREVER. We've now been together for about 6 months. I know we are in love, and I have decided I'm ready to have sex with him.

I've asked him twice now, and both times he said 'No'. I get the distinct impression he is trying to protect me from myself (hes a virgin).

Advice? Also, I get some pretty horrible comments when people find out about the age difference. I don't really care, but am interesting to know what you all think. Is it too much?

1. "You are to young to even be hanging out with someone that old and mature." Joe A.

I find that extremely insulting. ALL of my friends are older than me (ranging from a few months to many years). Adults are constantly telling me that I am extremely mature for my age.

2. I live in Australia, so it is not illegal for us to be dating.

3. I don't think that age difference warrants 'ditching' someone as one person replied.

4. Yes, it would be illegal for us to have sex (legal age here is 16)

5. Please do not tell me that I am "too young to make those sorts of decisions for myself". I am not a silly little girl whom is being 'taken advantage of'.

Answer 1

When you count the months in your age, then there is something wrong.

Answer 2

Ok, so I lost my virginity at 14 to my first love that I knew FOREVER, because his parents and my parents were friends. There was an age difference too, he was 18. Anyway, we stayed together for 2 years after that, but I do regret it. #1 because I don't know why I rushed it looking back now. He was a great guy and we had a great relationship- we didn't need sex to make it more interesting. It actually made things more difficult. Sex is a very intimate thing no mater who you do it when and you give a part of you every time you sleep with someone. Can you imagine in 10 years when your 24 ( and that's still very young) how many guys you might end up having sex with? I'm 25 and married now to an amazing man. Being with him is wonderful, but I feel bad with I think of all the guys I was with before him because I wish he could be the only one. So just take it slow, even if you have known him all your life because your only 14 and you have A L0T of life still to go.

Answer 3

You are a little girl, a mere child barely into her teens.
You have no wisdom, no experience to draw from in order to make a good decision.

Best friends forever. For your age that means six months. You've been together about six months. Wow.

Maybe all the other answerers are grown ups, and already know about what path you're taking. Reincarnated answer was right on target. Why wouldn't you take someone's experience as a good warning. You needn't get burned when someone forewarns you of the danger.

I can't imagine why this guy would be seriously interested in a girl your age. That makes me throw up a little in my mouth to even think about it.

These people here are telling you something and you're being defensive. If you just want people to agree with you and tell you that you're making wise choices and being responsible then stick to asking your peers.

Because no responsible adult is going to tell you that this is a good plan.

Answer 4

Frankly, I think it's a little weird and yes, too much of a difference, but you seem like an intelligent girl so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. All I can say is that people change a LOT between the ages of 14 and 19.

I wouldn't sleep with him, though. It IS illegal and he could be sent to prison for months or even years if anybody found out. I heard of a case in PA where an 18 year old man received oral sex from a 15 year old girl, and he is now in prison for over a decade.

Answer 5

99.9% of people under 25 are ignorant but are convinced they know everything. When people turn 30 they realize for the first time how little they know and how much there is to learn. THEN they realize how ignorant and stupid they were as teenagers and HOW MUCH they should have heeded their parents and other adults, but it's too late, many decisions cannot be taken back!

So you're ready, aren't you? Love, isn't it?

If it's love, then it will stand the test of time, for eternity if need be. If it isn't it, why take the chance of giving what you can never take back, and might want to give later to someone else when you are truly mature and in-love?

At a time when hormones and chemical overdrives are at their peak is NOT the time to make decisions that cannot be undone!

Answer 6

He's not wanting to do it because, since he is over 18, it's illegal for him to have sex with anyone under 18 - it's called "statutory rape" in most states. You're a minor and if he did have sex with you, he could go to jail for it and possibly have to register as a sex offender, which will seriously ruin his life (no one will hire him for a job, he can only live in certain areas where there are no schools/parks, etc - many sex offenders end up being homeless because that).

There was recently a big news story of a guy who performed oral sex on a girl when he was 18 and was charged with a lewd act on a minor. He spent 10 years in jail and was recently released.

Do you want your boyfriend to go through all that? Be patient and just wait and don't pressure him because this can seriously have horrible consequences.

Answer 7

the age difference isn't that much i don't know why the other people are against it. i know that you feel ready to have sex but i say don't, not yet at least. i'm sure he loves you very much, i think the only reason he said no is because if you and him have sex then he will go to jail and he doesn't want that because he would want to be with you not locked behind bars. when you turn 16 you can have sex with him. because you are under 16 he can't have sex with you or even perform anything sexually infront of you, you can't even see him naked. if you really love him then you can wait because if you don't you will never see him again besides on the tv with cops walking him to jail. i know you can't stand it any longer but it's better to wait it will be better for you and him. if you need anything else email me i would really like to hear from you i'll tell you more stuff and i'm not against you and him and the age difference i'll tell you why when you email me ok . good luck

Answer 8

As you get older the age difference will become less as a shock to people, but I do not see a problem with the age difference as long as you have known him for a long time and know the type of person he is. The fact that he has decided to wait for sexual relations is saying that he really cares about your relationship and wants it to be special when such a profounf event does occur. Sounds like you have found a great guy, consider yourself lucky girl....!

Also check the age of consent in your state, google it, because if you under this age he could be convicted of legal charges, and do jail time.

Answer 9

Little girl, oh you need to drop this silliness. I agree with the other answers here, you are too young for this scenario.

Your parents need to be educated, because they are failing you by allowing this to go on.

What 19 year old wants a 14 year old. Yikes. That makes me disgusted.

Go back to rollerskating and jumprope dearie. You are not old enough and you lack the maturity to have an adult relationship.

Answer 10

Sex definitely will complicate things between the two of you. He is already taking a huge chance at even dating you because of the age difference. You are 14 years old. Legally you cannot make that decision because the court will say that he persuaded you, NO MATTER WHAT U SAY! ....If you really love him and care about him, you would wait untill you were 18 so that sex between you would be legal and not legally a rape of a minor. Trust me, he's saying no for a reason. it is very serious.

Answer 11

The age difference is fine, but don't go too fast into sex. You're still very young and your life could get ruined. Think about your future for a sec. I'm pretty sure your boyfriend thinks that too, that's why he's refused to do it with you twice already. Just wait 'til you reach the proper age.