He is not mature enough to live on his own.( but we want him out) He is hanging out with an underage girl he met in the psche unit. He may have bipolar or borderline personality disorder. Barely has a job. We don't have the money to help him and he refuses help. He thinks he is "helping" this girl.
We would like to help him before he screws up his life beyond repair. He says he hangs out at her house and his friends house when he's not at home.
2007-12-09 15:33:44 · 7 answers · asked by val109 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Basically since he's 18 he is old enough to check himself out of anywhere. The cops won't do something unless he does something. I need to talk to this girls mom. If I talk to her and she is cool with it - then what?! I would call child protective services, but that seems rash.
2007-12-09 19:56:01 · update #1
I am sorry to hear this. If it is true that he has a personality disorder, they tend to be difficult to treat. This is because it is difficult for the person with the personality disorder to see things from a "real world" perspective. This does not mean that therapy is not a good idea, it is difficult to get the person to engage in meaningful therapy, because they do not believe that anything is wrong. I am not a therapist, so if you have more questions on this, it would probably be best to speak with one. Borderline personality disorder and bipolar are very different. Having an accurate diagnosis may be good, as they respond differently to treatment.
While reading through your question, I could not help but think of one suggestion. Have you thought of speaking with the girl's parents? Having a united front may be more effective in dealing with this situation before it becomes more difficult. I understand that from the flip side of the coin, your son may feel betrayed... That is why I only offer it as a suggestion.
2007-12-09 15:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by T H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're responsible for him until he's 21 then you can get a court order for him to appear at a clinic and he has to go. My mom went to a district court and got something done that the police came and escorted me to a clinic. There they will hook him up with a counselor to talk to for that day and they will give him a drug test and and a physical. So if he's using drugs or tells the counselor something they will hold him in a hospital. That's about all you can do, the rest is up to him. If his choice is to be homeless or screw up his life you need to let him do that.
For me, I was not using drugs so I didn't have to stay there. They requested I go to a counselor but I will never see a therapist if I have a choice.
2007-12-09 15:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by MCisEVIL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seek professional help.
In California there are legal aide services that can provide limited legal advice for free. I'd bet there are some in your area also.
Go see a counselor that specializes in juvenile cases. They should be able to give you advice on what to do. They will also be able to point you to other groups or services in your area that can provide support to you.
I learned a lot on how to work with my kids from local groups. I learned what rights I had and advice on what to do in certain situations to take back control.
2007-12-10 08:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by Joe Cool 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he will have to live with whatever mistakes he makes, that you can't help him out of every problem he creates but you'll always love him. After that get yourself some books or look at web sites on dealing with this. Try not to let him see how he is affecting you in case that he is doing it partly from rebellion.
2007-12-09 15:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by delawaredreaming 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so commit him for a 96 hour hold and have him placed in a facility if need be. as long as you don't give up on him then you know you have done everything possible and won't have any guilt over how he handles the rest of his life. this might be the only way he will get put on the correct path.
2007-12-09 15:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by bears~N~angels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was this kid when I was younger. My parents called the cops on me and they took over. I straightened up real fast. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you need outside help, but you need to know that once you give him to the system he won't be yours anymore.
They can help. Call them next time you are having a major altercation.
2007-12-09 15:43:55 · answer #6 · answered by Grossed out in Georgia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what country you live in but here in the USA 18yrs. old is the max line after that he has to take care of himself.
2007-12-09 15:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Michael B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋