This is not meant to upset people. It's just i'm a man and i can't possibly understand what its like. It happened to my gf just last night, she went clubbing when i was gone and unfortunate enough the guy just took her over. It's sad to look at her, she's all bruised and messed up. She has a broken arm and her face was swollen purple. But i can't help but be mad bcuz she cheated on me. And i still want to help her get better. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Will you please help me. What should i do?????
2007-12-09 13:52:49 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some of you have it wrong. As she was cheating on me. She said "she was going to have sex wiht this random guy(cheating on me) then decided she didnt want to and he was mad then raped her. Gosh im not an a hole. But if she wouldnt have cheated in the forst place this never would have happened
2007-12-09 15:09:30 · update #1
It's Not about you.
If you care about her, then be there for her.
Get over Your hurt so you can help her manage Hers.
2007-12-09 13:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by cherokee_jack 4 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Calm down! you love her don't you? The best thing you can do is just be there for her right now... rape is a VERY serious problem... and she is really hurting emotionally and physically right now so just comfort her... I've been raped before, but had no one to be there for me... she's lucky she has you... show her that you still care! Don't give up on her... and do you know the whole story? If she was raped it does not necessarily mean that she cheated on you.... the jerk could have threatened her or something if she didn't come with him... good luck to you both
2007-12-09 14:04:11 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you talking about? She cheated on you? You really need to elaborate. Did she cheat on you because she was raped or did this cheating happen before? That is besides the point. She needs to go report this. That is a start. Too many women do not report rapes. She needs to be with her family who is supportive and caring. You are too messed up your self to be around her. She is a victim for crying out loud!
2007-12-09 13:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Nani Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be there for her and take her to the hospital ASAP and get a rape kit done. This is not her fault - SHE was the victim of a horrible crime. She needs ALL your love and support right now. Being raped is NOT cheating. You have no reason to be upset with her. She is likely going through a very difficult time and needs all the support she can get. If you're having a hard time with this too, I suggest you both seek counseling. If you're still in school, there should be counseling services available to you.
2007-12-09 13:57:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I truly cant understand how u must feel but damn mate she was raped and that surely isnt cheating. The only cheating going on here has happened to ur gf cause life surely has cheated her. My thoughts go out to u both it really is a cruel world but all u can to is be there for her and most of all be understanding this is a horrific thing that has happened and she will scarred for life!!!!
2007-12-09 14:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by Dee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what the hell do you mean she CHEATED ON YOU! she was attacked! Maybe she thought she was having fun talking to people and she doesn't need your approval to go out clubbing. Listen, this is really tough. Don't bring up the fact that she went out with/out you b/c right now she's doing nothing but blaming herself for what happened to her. She needs to know that you're her FRIEND right now. She may even feel better if you said if you ever find that guy you'll pull his head out through his ***! Just comfort her and try to forget about being jealous. She went out to have fun, NOT to cheat on you and definitely NOT to get raped.
2007-12-09 13:58:39 · answer #6 · answered by jt_eradicator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you get that she cheated on you if she was raped.
she would be feeling enough shame without your judgement.
She never asked to be raped and bashed. The best thing you could do is try not to show her that you are angry with her, let her know that she didn't deserve what happened to her, be patient with her( you will need it) if you feel you really need to get it off your chest go to the gym and bash the s##t out of a punching bag.
Right now you just need to put your feelings aside and be there for her.
Please encourage and support her to get some professional help.
2007-12-09 14:06:47 · answer #7 · answered by april 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just how do you think she cheated on you? it's clear from your description of her she was forced.rape is not a crime of passion ,it's about control and power over the person being raped,I hope she reported it to the police and received medical care ,she will need counseling and UNDERSTANDING from you.you can't imagine what she went through or what she will go through before she recovers.
I speak from experience. You will also benefit from counseling and even attending some suport group for family of rape victoms. I wish you both well,you need each other now.
2007-12-09 14:05:00 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she report the rape? DID YOU TAKE HER TO THE FREAKING DOCTOR? I can't believe in a time like this you're just thinking about yourself. The most important thing you can do is be there for her and don't ******* judge here, you selfish dolt. Her ARM'S BROKEN!!! Rape victims tend to feel guilty about what happened to them, which is totally irrational. DON'T MAKE HER FEEL WORSE!!
Rape is probably the worst thing that can happen to a woman. If a guy shoved you into and alley and took you from behind? How would that feel? can't imagine it? EXACTLY!
2007-12-09 13:58:27 · answer #9 · answered by Solem 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Priority number one, my friend, has to be your lady PERIOD!
i googled on rape and found the link below - there is a lot more help out there - make sure she gets the help that she needs NOW!!!!
When you have sorted her i think you need to take the advice of some of the more understanding responders and get some help for yourself. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and am assuming that you are struggling to deal with this (which is understandable) and i suspect you are struggling to verbalise the issues you have the situation. Because of this some of the comments you make are creating some of the less understanding responses you are getting to this question.
BE STRONG FOR YOUR LADY and help her to get sorted, then get some help for yourself. God bless you both
2007-12-09 21:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by Tim2Die 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of insensitive fool are you? If someone would have just stolen her purse... would you be mad at her?
She did NOT cheat on you! She was RAPED.. that is NOT consensual! OMG! I can't even believe that's what you think!
This is probably the WORST thing that has EVER or will EVER happen to her. GROW UP! BE supportive!
And hey.. why don't you go to prison and have someone rape you so SHE can be mad at you! OMG! I just can't believe you!
and oh, yeah... one more thing GROW UP you insensitive B A S TA RD!
2007-12-09 13:58:12 · answer #11 · answered by Titzen_Ash_23 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋