Lol ya gotta read!?

Question

THE ONION AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

The family is sitting at the dinner table.

The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well son, there's three kinds of
breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round & firm. In her
thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions.'

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them, and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, 'Mom, how
manytypes of 'willies' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes
through
three phases. In his twenties, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty
and
hard. In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but
reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.'

'A Christmas tree??'

'Yes dear, d ead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.'

Send it out to all your girlfriends and guy friends who needs a laugh to
brighten up their day !!!

Answer 1

lol, jajaja this is very funny, thanks.

☺♥☺

Answer 2

Here's another useful joke


The Man Dictionary


"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."




"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"




"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.




"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."




"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST
THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the
corner is a real babe."




"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."




"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"




"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the
address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle
identification numbers of every car I've ever
owned, but I forgot your birthday."




"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU,
AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the
corner was a real babe."




"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF,
IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb,
but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."




"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched
hands, so I'm completely clueless."




"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"




"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what
you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it
well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."




"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me,
and realize it could be worse."




"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one
more outfit, I'm starving."




"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Answer 3

To be honest, I think I like being grown up! I know myself and my wants and needs a lot better than when I was a child and no what I need to do to make sure they're met! Now if only I could spend 90% of my time getting my work done and not here on Y/A! LOL

Answer 4

That was freakin hilarious, Trust me if I had been drinking milk it would have spewed outta my nose!

Answer 5

That is very funny. Cute joke! Thanks for the smile! (it was a nice break from the essay i'm writing right now!)

Answer 6

lools nice joke hahaha

Answer 7

lmao good one
onions they just make you cry lol

Answer 8

im still laughing

Answer 9

thats my daddy !!! too cute

Answer 10

That was funny! Thanks for the laugh!!

Answer 11

that was so funny......lol....