Assalam o alaikum,
I am a muslim brother and married for 14 months now. My problem is this: I give request of my wife to have children but every time she disobey me and says she does not want to. I am angry to her and I want kids so much. I tell her she is commanded to obey her husband if it is not sin. She bring me the problems that she did not tell me this before marriage. She insists no and does not give me a chance to be a father. She is not bad in other ways so I'm not searchnig divorce yet. I would like to know if I make her rise children together but is this action haraam. I'm very confused, looking forward to your advice. Thanks
2007-12-09 11:55:35 · 12 answers · asked by Could 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm agnostic but you can't force someone to become pregnant, painfully carry a baby inside her for 9 months, and raise your kids. Obey you? She's a grown woman, not a child.
2007-12-09 11:59:27 · answer #1 · answered by greenwich 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You've only been married a little over a year. What's the big rush to have a baby?
Your bride needs some more time to get used to being a wife, before she is forced to become a mother. She probably came directly from living with her parents to living as your wife, and probably also wasn't allowed to date you -- the dating period can be an important time to transition into the role of "wife" from "daughter."
Can't you be a little more understanding, love your wife, and put her personal and emotional needs above your desire to be a father, if only for a time?
You do have choices here -- force the issue and end up with an unhappy wife who won't be a good mother if she isn't ready, or---
wait a while to have children until you're BOTH ready -- which is the respectful thing to do, signifying that BOTH of your desires are equally being considered. (In other words, if you wait, you both get what you want, see??).
Perhaps you could ask your wife when she feels she might be ready to bring up the subject again, and then honor her wishes by NOT bringing it up until such time. It would do no harm and might do you both quite a bit of good in developing your marital relationship.
2007-12-09 20:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have only been married for a short time. Don't think that your wife is "disobeying" you. Think that she is still adjusting to the role of being a wife. Let her enjoy that time and don't be angry with her. Treat her like the queen of your home and she will treat you like a king. I imagine that she will begin to think of children when she is completely comfortable in her home. She must trust you to be a good husband and father, so show kindness to her, not anger or disappointment. I looked on a website about marriage and it said that children in marriage is not wajib. Of course, it is desired by most people, or would we be here? Find a teacher at your mosque who can advise you, and love your wife.
2007-12-09 20:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by Snow Globe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are only married 14 months.
What is your hurry?
Enjoy life,get to know each other.
Children are a life changing responsibility.
You should be emotionally and financially ready for them.
Your wife is right to wait to have children.
There is no need to get a divorce over this issue.
You seem to be the problem not her.It should be a joint decision.
If after 10 yrs she still does not want children then leave if you want.
Right now I think you are just being a macho man,and want to push your wife around.Calm down and let go.
When God wants you to have children he will give them to you.
It is not about haram or not,it is about giving your wife respect,
and consideration.
2007-12-09 20:08:36 · answer #4 · answered by angelguide 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you have to come to a mutual agreement. Maybe she wants to have kids later down the line and not now. If she never wants to have kids thn i believe the decision is on you.
Your better off asking an Ulimaah on this matter because they know a lot more thn most of us combined
Asalaam-u-alaikum
2007-12-09 20:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Ṣaḥābah . 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
brother, how old is your wife? Maybe she feels she is too young.When the time is right Allah will send you children in the meantime focus on your time with your wife because after you have children it is very hard to have time together.
Assalamualaikum.
2007-12-09 20:16:24 · answer #6 · answered by khadija k 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well thats a big problem dont force her tell her the hadeths about the prophet mohammad liking children good luck ishallah she will love to have children it is said that if a family have a girl in the house prophet mohammed will say his salam to that family
2007-12-09 20:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by answering machine 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my friend had similar problem with his wife. they sought divoriced because, it was not better for the future of them both.
2007-12-09 20:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by eclypse 3000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm deeply saddened by hearing this brother in Islam. You should talk to her about how great it is having children. Hmm is there any specific reason as to why she doesn't want to? Perhaps she can't? Anyways, there is always adoption.
2007-12-09 20:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by mephisto 5 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Read the post below,
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At3lxS_EoBg8cdVSQitDr.Hty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071208100243AAmsXnv&show=7#profile-info-xpZhA4Q6aa
2007-12-09 19:59:40 · answer #10 · answered by Yahoo Sucks 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋