Question for fellow Atheists about Personal Peace.?

Question

Hindsight being closer to 20/20, I have looked back upon my life. I used to be Christian and as such I was in denial about the reality of the world around me as many religious people are in varying degrees. One of the things that I have determined is that the denial I was in created a buffer that protected me from the often harsh reality of the universe, such as the finality of death and our collective 'aloneness'. That protection offered me a kind of personal peace which I found to be very attractive. Now that I am atheist I have found that I have less personal peace. Of course I wouldn't trade reality for denial simply to obtain that peace again, but my question to you is this.

Is that feeling common? Do you also find that reality brings less personal peace? And finally, do you also believe that the attraction of that personal peace through denial is what entices people to be drawn to and embrace theism?

Answer 1

((((HUGS))))

Sweetie, it's just a phase. Most of the atheists who used to be believers go through what you're going through right now. And it's perfectly normal. I can promise you one thing - it IS a phase and will pass.

You're right. I personally believe that people seek religion and God for those very reasons. Plus we like to feel that we belong to a certain group. Don't be afraid to embrace your individuality :)

Look at it this way. You're free now. You know that it's only your conscience you have to answer to, that inner voice that yells at you sometimes - do stop and seek it :) You have every reason to have your peace of mind! You are fully aware that it's only this one life that we have, only this one chance - go and use it, make the best of it.

Be productive, be good, seek love and take time to be happy. We often forget that.
.

Answer 2

I think I felt this way more when I first transitioned away from religious belief. I think its a difficult thing in some ways because you have to readjust your whole world view and how you perceive things. I have a personal peace now which I think is more real to me than the peace my religious beliefs brought me although I think it flucuates. Even for religious people there are times of questioning faith as such. At any rate it was no use to me once I didn't believe anymore I couldn't convince myself to believe just to facilitate false peace. I do think that is why some religious people are threatened and resentful of those who question religion and beliefs. I think the reasons people embrace and hold onto religion are complex and multi-faceted. Childhood indoctrination, cultural identity, community, loyalty to the group, fear of death or loss of loved ones, explanations for the big questions of life, an externally dictated sense of purpose and meaning, feeling of being able to control events through prayer and having an all powerful being watching over you and intervening in your life. These are all powerful psychological motivators for some people. They are no longer so attractive to me looking at it from the outside and with the perspective I have now. It took time though and everyone is different. I would say the best advice is if you are spending to much time dwelling on the finality of life and and aloneness its a sure message to get out of yourself more. Find some positive things to fill your life with is the best recipe for happiness I can recommend whether its to a religious or nonreligious person.

Answer 3

I think all atheists feel that way to some extent at times. I know I do. It's not hard to fall from Atheism straight into Nihilism. I comfort myself by knowing that this existence does have meaning. Not only for myself but the people around me. We are not alone, we are here now and we might as well make the best of our lives together. Reality is what it is, and death is universal. That doesn't mean that it has to be disturbing or unsettling. Try not to look at things so negatively and live the best life you can. After all that is all that you have so don't waste it being depressed about our condition.

Answer 4

The reverse was true for me. I have more personal peace now, knowing that the only standard for morality I have to live up to is my own. It's nice to know that eating meat and cheese on a Friday doesn't make me a bad person. And, since I don't think there's going to be any kind of an afterlife, I don't really fear death. (The process of dying is a different story).

It's sad when I realize that I'll never have another chance to be with loved ones that I've lost again. Other than that, I'd say my personal peace quotient is much higher now than it was when I was a believer.

Answer 5

It certainly would be a little more peaceful believing a lie, than reality. But we just can't do it. Yes, I feel similar.

However, I find great astonishment and wonder at the awesome power of science and what we have accomplished as humans.

Living a lie will keep us in greater danger (look what it did for people who took so long to accept what Hitler was doing to the Jews).

In my experience, this is one of the most common reasons people hold on to their faith.

Answer 6

Wonderful question. What a treasure to read it.

I think you have to "buy" that peace at a terrible price. And that doesn't make it all that peaceful. To illustrate, my Grandmom was murdered a few years ago. When it happened my sister, the pastors wife, phoned me to discuss things about the funeral, the police investigation etc. She has been very agitated with me due to my Atheism and at one point she said to me, very exasperated "How can you stand living day-to-day thinking you'll never see her again?" I said "That is a hard thing for me to carry. But we all have different things to carry. The thing you have to carry is "how could a God of love, let his faithful servant die in terror by being beaten to death?"

There is always a trade off. To me the "peace" is pretty fragile.

Answer 7

I think I see what you are getting at, but honestly, none of that bothers me in the least.
Ok, so I'm an insignificant grain of sand in the Sahara of the cosmos, OH WELL.
What can I do about it? Cry? Feel like it's unfair that I don't get to call the shots?
Be upset that the wind is going to push me around and there's nothing I can do about it?
Oh well.
Should I even be upset about it? Why shouldn't I be satisfied with my place as a grain of sand? Would I really want to be in charge of the entire desert?
No, no thank you.

Answer 8

Reality sucks. Reality is not a happy or pretty place, but we can try our damndest to make it that way. After I die I would love to go to a nice blissful place with everything I ever wanted, a place where everyone I ever loved is there waiting for me... But the cold hard truth is that that's just going to happen, because that place doesn't exist. Which is exactly why we have to use our time alive to live the absolute best life we possibly can, because after we die that's it.

Answer 9

Very good question. Ultimately I agree that the idea of serving a greater purpose is very appealing. I would love to believe that there is something greater out there, and that my life is not finite. I think it would be very peaceful to have that knowledge, and I don't think that feeling is uncommon.

However, I think ascribing a sense of false grandeur to your life is dishonest and arrogant. I think that ultimately if we cant be comfortable with reality - even if its harsh and unpleasant - we are deluding ourselves. I think that in order to truly live and appreciate life, you must be as honest and objective as possible.

/agnostic

Answer 10

I don't think they're denying reality. I think they've just accepted a simple-minded life and don't want anyone to crush their reality.

I have personal peace, but it's probably not as strong as it was when I was a child. I think most people feel that way when they grow up.