Do all toddlers have these 'frustration episodes'?

Question

My baby is about 20 months, everything looks OK, but a few times a week she has these strange 'nervous fits' or 'frustration crisis'. For 30-60sec she shakes hands, screams, panics, starts crying
The cause can vary, for example it happens when she makes a 10 piece wooden puzzle and the last shape does not fit in the hole (because she got it inverted). Another typical cause is when her sandal (velcro) or shirt is messed up and she cannot fix it

Is this normal or must i tell the doctor?

Answer 1

I would say it is pretty normal. Not all toddlers get like this but many do. It is a frustration with what they are able to do and what they want to do. As their co-ordination improves it happens less often and then disappears(at least until they are teenagers).

Answer 2

It is normal-way to many kids are labeled autistic. Toddlers do this because they don't yet have the vocabulary to deal with getting frustrated. They want to do things and find their own way, but it doesn't always work since they can't do it all. The end result is a child who is frustrated but can't say "mom I am upset that the puzzle didn't go together the correct way and I want to fix it and can't" so they scream and yell instead. The way I deal with this in my toddler is to get down on his level (so we are face to face) take his arms in my hand to try to get him to focus on me vs the current tantrum and I calmly ask "I see you are upset (or mad) can you use your words to tell me why". He is 2 and he is able to tell me why he is upset-it verys but tends to be "wanted do it myself" or "the dog broked it" or "PJ wanted to ...". He now has gotten the hang of this and some times if I see the signs of a tantrum on the way I will ask him if he can use his words and tell me what is wrong. His day care uses the same techniques so he understands that this is how you deal with being frustrated and that hitting, throwing, spitting, screaming etc is not allowed and get you in time out. He also will sometimes go to time out on his own if he needs to re-group, he will just tell me "PJ need time out" and goes to the time out chair to sit and gets up when he is ready. Little people just need time and understanding to learn how to deal with becoming more independent-honestly when you think of all they need to learn, it's a wonder they don't have little freak outs all the time. Good luck.

Answer 3

You may want to tell the doctor. However, my 6 year old daughter did it from the age 24 months to 36 months (a whole year) but i had her tested for autism and the doctor said she was fine and she out grew it!

Answer 4

Totally normal! You should be relieved it is only a few times a week. Some toddler do this a few times a day.

Answer 5

Yes it is normal. She just hasn't learned how to completely deal with problem solving. My little girl does the same thing so I just try to help her solve the problem or redirect her attention so she can go back and try again later. She'll be fine.

Answer 6

normal my son was doing so till he learn how to control the situations around him don't worry

Answer 7

it is normal she doesnt know how to get fustration out yet with words so that is her way of saying I'm mad.

Answer 8

Not to frighten you, but it almost sounds as if she has slightly autistic tendencies. I would take her to the doctor to get her evaluated just to rule it out.

Answer 9

talk to the dr. but it is normal. they are just learning the world and can get frustrated at anything because they want to feel big, like big girls. and they want to please you.