ok i had posted a question she is not pregnant but i found a condom in her room.. her mom died and im taking care of her and my own daughter, i need to know what she is doing nowadays any suggestions on how to find out?
2007-12-09 09:56:19 · 33 answers · asked by NaTaShA 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i dont think she willl tell me if i just ask her, and i dont want her to end up like me getting pregnant at age 14, but she will not tell me anything anymore its not that easy with her
2007-12-09 10:07:58 · update #1
You need to sit down and talk to her. There COULD be a reasonable explanation; after all, she's in sex-ed by that age and she might be interested. But if you're noticing signs pointing to sex or sexual activities, like hanging around older boys, then you might want to confront her. Tell her that you love her and you care about her and her safety, and therefore you want to know why she has a condom in her room. Let her know that while sex may seem harmless, there can be many consequences like sexual diseases and pregnancy. If you are worried about pregnancy visit The Candies Foundation (research it on Google). You can show it to her; there are many facts there that might bring a reality check.
If you're too nervous to confront her, try printing off articles on sexual diseases and/or pregnancy and show them to her and your daughter. Say you found them interesting and thought they might like to know. Plus, by showing them to your own daughter, it looks like you're not just focusing on your niece and not singling her out.
Best of luck to you!
XOXO,
Laurie
2007-12-09 10:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by Laurie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't freak out, remain calm. There could be a reasonable explanation for this. She may have gotten it in sex ed, who knows? So, go in with the idea that she is innocent until proven guilty. Accusations will do nothing but throw her onto the defensive and not make her very happy with you.
Listen to what she has to say. Be supportive of her. If she is having sex, then you can discuss the consequences...and how she's not ready to be a mom. The sex leads to pregnancy talk, I'm sure you know what I mean.
2007-12-09 10:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with her and explain that you found the condom. Tell her you are not dissapointed in her, because the fact that she does have it, if ANYTHING is going on... she is being safe.
It could be anything. Something given out at school, a dare, or she could just be curious.
If she is sexually active... surely with your small child... she knows the repurcussions. She is 12 years old... that is WAYY to young to be having sex, and especially to get pregnant. Tell her it CAN HAPPEN.
Be nice, and listen to her.
2007-12-09 11:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by Skyleigh's Mom :)™ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She may just be curious. I had an old condom when I was that age and it was just because I was curious about them and about sex in general. NO ONE was talking to me about sex so I felt compelled to research it myself (not by actually doing it but by reading it about it, etc).
TALK TO HER.
It will be for the best. Do it in an honest and open way, don't condemn her for having a condom and don't make it seem like you were going through her things.
Best of luck!
Peace,
Jenn
2007-12-09 10:09:28 · answer #4 · answered by jenn_smithson 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ask her kindly do not be judgemental. Tell her you understand that she has been through a lot and she is looking for someway to feel better. She is most likely trying to find love from someone else because she feels empty. Empathize with her do not critisize her. Even if she does not open up at that moment if you do it right she will in the future.
2007-12-09 10:00:12 · answer #5 · answered by Sage 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
get her to trust you, she wont talk to you about anything unless she feels like you're on her side. my mum found a condom in my room when i was 15 and she didnt give me a chance to explain they had been given out at school as part of sex education, instead she jumped straight to assuming i'd been having sex. sit down and talk to her, not in an interrogating way, just be friendly and she'll come round.
2007-12-09 10:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk to her, but remember she has the condom which means it's a start of something right and possibly not getting pregnant young
2007-12-09 10:34:26 · answer #7 · answered by Mavis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i was 12, i was always curious about condoms and things. However, i wasnt into sex. maybe she just has them just because. Ask her and see what she says. keep an eye on what kind of friends she's hanging around. if she's always hanging around older kids (especially boys), the risks of her having sex that young are much higher.
2007-12-09 10:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by to0fly4u 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you found it and ask her to explain why she has it. You have to be straight and forward with them so they know that you really care... someone may have just given it to her and she may think it's funny to carry. Maybe it makes her feel cool. Maybe it's her way of pretending to be active to create an illusion with her peers. There are many possibilities......so talk to her.
2007-12-09 10:00:17 · answer #9 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, ask her. Also talk to a doctor about it because the loss of her mother may be resulting in 'looking for love in alll the wrong places' Truly though just talk to her
2007-12-09 10:00:41 · answer #10 · answered by thisismystory12 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋