Christmas is almost here. My 2 kids, 1 is 22 the other 24. granddaughter is 7 and grandson is almost 2. I used to see the g/d every w/e for 6 years. my g/s every other w/e. for the past 6 months. Both of my kids (adults now) are mad at me and said i am the worst mother and my daughter don't want to see me on xmas or see my g/d. i am so hurt and confused. i have appologized for anything i have done wrong and begged them, even just for the holidays to put things aside. she said no way. we have gotten along this is something that has been happening the past 5 months. i even lent or gave her 300.00 to get her car fixed and my daughter said i was probably tring to pay her to see my grandaughter. I miss them so much, mostly the g/d. i keep crying/ praying i just don't know where i went wrong. my son called me today and said he will be spending xmas with his sister at her house and let me know that he don't like me and he said actually i hate you! please any advice
2007-12-09 08:39:37 · 7 answers · asked by lindalu 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have not stated what happened for all this to be taking place.
I would start to focus on what you can offer others. I am sure there are churches in your area that are doing great things for families in shelters. I suggest you plan on giving to others this Christmas.
In that way, you are not alone and at the end of the day, you will feel better about yourself.
You make others do what you want them to do. you can only control yourself and make your choices.
Your choice is to be alone, or give to others..
2007-12-09 08:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by sammy3256 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have done something they consider serious enough to create this hostility towards you. Apologizing may not be enough. You may need to give them some time to cool off. It will make for a lonely holiday but I would suggest not contacting them for a while. If you keep asking it may just anger them more and push them further away. Take a break, as hard as it is. After a while try talking to them and apologizing again.
I also wouldn't bring up money that was lent. It can be extremely frustrating when a parents 'chooses' to lend money and then holds it over their child's head. They should be appreciative but you should also not remind them of it. Give because you want to help and don't expect it to give you leverage for any future arguments.
I'm not saying you are totally at fault but you need to respect their right to be upset for something they feel was wrong.
Give them time and use it to look at your past behavior and try seeing it from their point of view. If you see things you have done that you realize in hindsight could upset them work on not repeating those things. They don't want to hear "I'm sorry for whatever I've done". They want to know you realize what you did and that you won't do it again. They'll respect you for being able to see any possible mistakes you made, accepting them, and then apologizing and moving on.
I really am sorry for your loss. It's painful when a child puts distance between a parent. Surround yourself with good friends to support you through this tough time. Best of luck!
2007-12-09 17:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know what they are talking about. Only you can come to grips with the consequences of your behavior. I have daughters at similar ages and sometimes they have valid complaints about me, and sometimes they don't and are just blaming me for things no one can fix.
Your life didn't begin when you had kids, and it won't end while they get this out of their system. I'm sorry your daughter is using your granddaughter as a weapon, but that's what people do. I suggest you spend Christmas with friends.
2007-12-09 16:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never said what got you guys to this point? But one important thing you said, they are both ADULTS, why are they acting like children?
2007-12-09 17:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by realmscleo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the consequences of your actions and prepare for a lonely Christmas.
2007-12-09 16:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think there must be more to this story and you haven't told us...??? i don't see what the problem is... except that your kids are upset with you for some reason...
whatever it is, i sure hope it works out for you... take care ok?
2007-12-09 17:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try asking them what you did wrong and how you can make up for it... send them gifts by mail... a sorry card.... a bouquet of flowers... anythin you can think of... cant think of much more...
2007-12-09 16:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by q-boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋