I have a nine year old son with Aspergers Syndrome. I think he is an amazing child. I feel very blessed by him. The only problem is I have anew husband that I have been with for three years. He used to try and understand my son and was so amazing to him. Now that we have a son bettween the two of us he doesn't seem to even care about what he is (my son) is going through any more. He yells at him always. He calls him a wuss when he has meltdowns over things. The most recent fight was because our two year old hit my nine year old with a bat in the head. This caused my nine year old to go into a state of panic, at wich time my husband yelled at my son and put him in his room, and let our two year old continue to play with bat. When I intervened in hopes of a resolution he told me my son talks to him direspectful and when he gets old enough he is going to kick his a**. If things dont get better I will loose the man I love.
2007-12-09 05:29:08 · 10 answers · asked by me-me 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
People with AS may have what on the surface what appear to be odd behaviors, odd reactions to external stimuli, and odd habits. If you understand AS and how people with AS think, parents should not have too much of a problem raising them.
Your husband would do well to try to learn more about your son, learn how he thinks, and learn why he thinks the way he does.
I believe that if your husband does not get HIS act in gear, you ought to divorce him, because in essence that is what he is doing with your son...He has absolved himself of parental responsibility and is counting the days until he can turn your son into a punching bag instead of a well-rounded human being.
2007-12-10 12:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by environmental1st2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not worth the struggle, but unfortunately the poor two year old - obviously on the road to brat-hood - is. If this husband doesn't stop his behavior, he's going to destroy both of the children. Not only has he betrayed, hurt, and likely permanently damaged your 9 year old, he is turning his 2 year old into a brat who will look down on those of neurodiverse minds.
You really need to do something about this. As a sufferer of Aspergers, I know there is nothing that hurts and bothers me more than injustice. That poor child must be aching inside being treated so unfairly. Also, how DARE he call him a wuss? He has NO idea what that poor kid is going through living in a world that hates those with aspergers and autism. Please stand up for your son before your husband destroys him.
2007-12-09 05:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by Amy I 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do you really care if you lose this man? Really?
This man has dumped your child in favour of a biological child which is totally unacceptable.
How dare he speak to your son and treat your son like he does.
My nine year old son has Aspergers and like you I think he is amazing, annoying but amazing. Lol!!!!!
How dare he tell you that he is going to kick your sons @ss when he's old enough. Your man needs a serious wake up call. Your youngest cannot be allowed to physically abuse your eldest and get away with it because he is biologically both your child. You really need to think about what your son needs considering his condition.
A serious talk is long overdue.
Good Luck!!!!
2007-12-09 09:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by gill79 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hes not supporting your child because hes not bio-related?!? BOOT THIS MAN OUT YOUR DOOR! Hes abusing your son and allowing a two year old to do the same and (if you have any) become a danger to your pet/s!
Do NOT let this man near your child! If not, take him to a mental doctor to explain he has problems and your son has aspergers syndrome.
Whats more important your loving child or abusive husband?
2007-12-09 09:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to get better educated about Asperger's syndrome. ASAP. I have a son (4 yrs old) who has PDD NOS, and probably has similar issues to your son.
How your husband is treating your son is borderline abusive.
I'm hoping its just a case where he is not educated about Asperger's and the issues that go along with it. Get him educated. And if it continues, you need to make a very tough decision. Would you tolerate a stranger treating your son this way? No. So don't let your husband.
2007-12-09 06:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get your son counseling. Get your spouse education in Aspergers and do some parenting classes. I do understand that is very difficult to tolerate 2 year old meltdowns when they come from a nine year old. You can also work with the nine year old and teach him to problem solve instead of panic. Just bc he has a diagnosis of Aspergers does no mean he can't learn how to handle situations such as a two year old hitting him.
2007-12-09 05:38:32 · answer #6 · answered by TAT 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You seem patient and outgoing which is basically whats required. Try to get as much information about the child as possible before you go in. Most people think this is their behaviour record or their academic profile but in this situation, try to find out their interests and hobbies. If you can go in with a little knowledge like this, you may have the chance to engage them this way. As mentioned in other posts, AS is not specifically a disease that effects cognitive function. There are many people with AS who lead highly academic lives. In terms of everyday living, it has a greater affect on the way a person with AS will interpret social situations. Some of the basic indicators are not being able to accurately interpret tone, facial expressions or other visual cues such as body language. In other people it can be a reluctance to make eye contact or be overly physical. It really varies between people and in particular, with kids who are still in the early stages of their development. If this is a new school or new classroom setting for this child, be mindful that there is a period of adjustment that you will need to cater for. In terms of helping them with spelling/handwriting and general homework - observe their workbook and their work habits. If you see any routines they do, try to maintain them so its not too much of a shift for them. If there is new stuff you have to teach them or get them to do, try to create a little pattern about it and work on establishing it. Use lots of praise, verbal and visual (so positive comments, stickers, merits etc) but be aware that they may not always have the same effect, in the way any kid in a school sometimes get excited by a merit award and other times doesn't seem so bothered. Ultimately, just be patient and give the child space if she wants. Nobody, whether having AS or not wants too many people crowding around them all the time, but quite often they do want that support somewhere near by. Good Luck,
2016-05-22 08:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by raye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right you will lose the man you love, your 9 year old son. I say have a VERY serious chat with the jerk you married and if nothing changes give him the boot right out the door.
Nothing should be as important as your child, including your husband.
2007-12-09 05:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to learn about AS now. Yelling and callling your son names is abuse and obviously will not help. Will your husband read any books on AS?
While my husband isn't perfect with our AS son, he'd never stoop to calling him names thankfully. Is your son in social skills classes? That may help him as well.
2007-12-09 06:18:51 · answer #9 · answered by pinkpiglet126 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does your husband act like this? Does he just not understand? Explain it to him. Does he just not care? Then you may need to find a new hubby.
2007-12-09 11:21:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋