He's 35 years old and I've had a crush on him for about a year now. I think I'm in love...I just...can't stop thinking about him. He's on my mind constantly. It hurts sooo much to think I don't have a chance with him...it's just...UGH. :( I can't keep my feelings inside any longer. I'm so lovesick it's not even funny. I can't even THINK straight...I like...cry about him all the time. I don't know. I just don't know. What should I do? Should I tell him my feelings? I can't just 'get over' him...I'm in love! I really, really am...:( Sorry if this is confusing. I'm really tired right now. *sigh*
2007-12-09 02:35:22 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
15 WILL GET HIM 30 (years in prison) Hopefully he knows this. Your 15, try and keep your pants on for a few more years.
2007-12-09 02:42:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im 16 and i have crushes before too, and i do like older guys... but 21 is my limit. And him being your fathers friend? that should be an immediate turn off! Right now, you are experiencing a very strong attraction to him, and maybe he is a nice guy. But dont confuse that with love. You just really really like him, just set that straight right now. You are 15, you dont know what love is. I dont know exactly what love is either, right now... we just lust. He is probably charming... and has said lil things that sweep you off your feet, but he has probably done that with older girls too.. and much much much older than you. You just need some alone time... when he comes over... go to the movies with a friend... and try to make the convos between you too less than what it was.
and plzzz.. .try to notice the boys your age more... and yes that age they act like jerks! i know... but there actually are some nice guys out there... in our age group.
and dont think anything is wrong with you... crushes come and go so quickly.. and sometimes they do stay for a while... i have had crushes that last much more than a year
but whatever you do.. dont tell him. NOTHING can happen, if you really do like him, you cant give him that idea, he will go to jail, probably after your dad beats him up....
2007-12-09 10:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by :) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing you need to understand is how powerful a crush can be. It does feel like love. It can be so overpowering. You feel a strong pull in your belly when you think of this man. And all you can do is think about him. Distracting you from your school work and your friends. There is a huge age difference here. When you are 25 and he is 45 the difference may not seem so large but right now there are maturity issues. I know you think you could handle this but there is so much he has experienced that you still need to. And I'm sure he is already aware of your feelings even though you haven't said anything to him. You are sending subtle signals he is receiving, that you don't know you're sending. At 35 men are getting close to that mid-life crisis. He is extremely flattered by your crush and will flirt back. You have to remeber though, that you could get him in a lot of trouble if anything were to happen between you. Even if it is consensual. The law frowns apon you being under 18 and he being over. I know it's ridiculous but it's for your own protection. Try to distract yourself. Force yourself to focus on your studies, and keep yourself occupied with your friends. You are in control of this crush. Give yourself a chance to experience life before you commit to anything. You will make a better partner when you know what you really want and need. I know you think you know that already but trust me, your hormones are in flux and the you now, will not be the same you at 20. Really spend sometime getting to know yourself better. Please be careful because you have the power here. If you were to come on to him, he would be hard pressed to refuse and it may be something you truly regret later. Remember what I said though, women have the power and always will. Men are so consumed by what we have that they will do and say anything to get it. Not to intentionally hurt you, but they just cant't think straight when a willing women is offering herself. Protect what you have, treasure it, and know that it is a very precious thing. That sounds silly but one day you will realize what you have. Grow as a person, love yourself and one day you will be able to offer a man more than just what is between your legs. I have suffered from crushes and the only thing that will get you over him is time. Just keep telling yourself it is a crush. There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling, it's natural. But I really don't think it would be in your best interest to act on it right now. Good luck.
2007-12-09 11:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for young girls at your age to fall for older guys-do not worry, there is nothing wrong with you :-) It is the same as when the younger adolescent boys fall in love with women, 10, 20 or more years older.
Usually, this happens when the girl/boy misses father's/mother's love and attention, and in some way, she/he tries to get it from someone else-this is subconscious and she/he is actually doing this not knowing what the real problem is...yes, you can talk to the school psychologist, or some teacher, but also, you can just be calm and wait until this feeling disappears. Just spend more time with your friends, at same age, go have fun, go to parties, talk to and hang with younger friends, both boys and girl, and try to do what all you friends do, so you can fulfill your free time.
Also, talk to your parents and spend more time with them discussing all the "life questions" you have.
If this helps-I have a cousin, and when he was 24-25, even older then you are now, he went to a special diet program facility-and had a relationship ( I am sure, just sexual), with the doctor. She was about 50 at the time! His problem was-he was abandoned by his mother when he was a little baby and grew up with the father (alcoholic) and the grand mother. You do not have to be very smart to see what he was looking for, so…Anyway, few months after, he had a new girlfriend, same age as he is, and then another girlfriend…and the “old lady” just disappeared from his life.
2007-12-09 11:06:46 · answer #4 · answered by Veronica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are like half his age. and i would say age doesnt matter, but now it does. look there is so many things wrong with that. and what you think is love can be just a crush. dont tell him how you feel, or your dad. it will do nothing but hurt you. spend time away from him, and with guys more your age. go hang out with girl friends or something to keep your mind preoccupied. ik this will be hard if you like him as much as you say, but no good will come out of this. im sorry to disappoint you, but I'm sure you have thought of it not working out. I'm just bringing it up. bye
goodluck
2007-12-09 10:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by Some Person 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you are NOT in love. You may be in lust. You are in a period where your hormones are really active. It is not uncommon for 14 year old girls to develop a "crush" on an older man, but it is certainly inappropriate to do something about it. Expressing your feelings is NOT a good thing to do, what if he should act on them? It would be a good way for him to spend 40 years in prison. You could try talking to your mother about it, she might have some suggestions to help.
2007-12-09 10:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by Wiz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 15 you are most certainly not in love. And you should erase such thoughts from your mind. Wait until you are thirty five and he is fifty five. No one would have any problem with that! In the meantime stick to kids your own age and don't be in a rush to grow up. That happens in its own time.
2007-12-09 10:42:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, simply mingle with your age bracket. What you feel for him is just one of the earlier kind of love which is "puppy love". Meaning you look up to him for father image. As I have mentioned earlier, try to mingle with your own bracket. Soon enough before you know it, you have already established a friendship with the right person which in the end will be your partner in life IN GOD's TIME.
GOD BLESS THE CHILD!
Merry Christmas, too ;)
2007-12-09 10:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by Mutya P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he handsome or what?
I'd say you look for someone else since you are only 15.
You will meet alot more guys out there that would fit you better.
When you are 25 he'll be 45! So lets think about this carefully.
2007-12-09 10:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, keep your feelings to yourself. You should not want to make the situation awkward for him. It could ruin him and your dads friendship. Just accept that he may be too old... does he have a family? children your age? This is not a good look for you or him.
2007-12-09 10:40:15 · answer #10 · answered by I'm Michael Jackson BAD!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋