How can I raise my son with a good attitude, when I have had bad experiences with men?

Question

i am raising a son here and am trying to have a good attitude towards men. But the answers I had on my last question :

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Those answers told me that all guys want it sex. I have had bad expereinces with men like this. How do I raise my son with a good attitude towards his gender, when I have not had good experiences with men and they say things like this ?

I am a single mom, so I really want to get a good attitude towards men! It is very important to me to raise him to be a decent, caring person....not like the guys that I have encoutered

Answer 1

teach him to respect people .. not just women.. but all people!!

let him play with dolls and learn compassion - too many boys are raised where the only emotion they are allowed to show is Anger.

DO NOT encourage rough housing or make lame excuses for bad behavior (eg. "boys will be boys")
talk to him openly - alot of boys DO NOT get to talk to a woman especially about sexuality - do not get ashamed or make him feel ashamed (eg. allow masturbation)

when its time for him to start dating you must insist he has good manners - eg tell him when he picks up his date to go to her door and ring the bell - DO NOT ALLOW him to sit in his car and honk the horn for her to come... etc.. teach him when he walks with a woman down the road he should be on the side of the traffic.. and teach him about holding doors open too...

Answer 2

Well, I think it's awesome that you acknowledge your feelings and don't want to transpose them onto your son. This should be true with anything. There are things in all of us that we don't like and don't want our children to do so we have to be very aware of the fact that we feel this way and that we don't want our children to pick up and carry those feelings.

Find some good role models for your son. You, yourself, know what you don't like about the way you've been treated so work to teach your son the opposite. If you didn't feel respected by men, go out of your way to teach your son to be respectful of all people. You know the qualities that you want him to embody. If he has role models that carry out those qualities, he will learn from them. They can be grand parents, friends, uncles. You can teach him to be a good man even though you are his mom. Try not to talk badly about men in front of him. Also, if you are around positive men you will start to see that all men are not bad.

I am so sorry that you've had bad experiences. I admire you for wanting your son to be a better addition to male gender and I admire you for seeing this in yourself. You have been wronged, but you are not using this as an excuse to speak badly about all men. That's really something to be proud of.

Good luck,hun!

Answer 3

not all men are the same. If you raise your son with respect for women and men, there's no problem at all! It's your son, not some lover! You can raise a man, without having good experience with men!

Answer 4

Not all men are pigs. Mines not, and never has been. He honored my wish to stay a virgin until we were married, and NEVER pushed me on it, and even made me uphold it- even when I was ready to give in.

The men YOU have experience are common, but that doesnt mean GOOD men dont exist.

You raise your son to be different from those men. You know what you DONT want in him, so dont allow those things. Those men you encountered werent men, they were boys in mens bodies. I dont care if they were 40, they were immature and didnt grow up into men.

Teach him how to value himself, how to have morals and higher standards, how to respect women, and how to be a real man. Pick a man you DO admire, maybe your dad, or Jesus, or even a fictional character if you have to.

While you're teaching him those things, get out there and FIND a good man. No one is going to be perfect, but there ARE men out there who WANT to be fathers and husbands and to care for their families, even those they didnt give birth to. They will not be in the same places where you found the other men. Real men dont pick up girls at bars or clubs, or at parties or out on the town. Real men look for women who WANT to be moms and wives.

Be that woman go find that man.

Answer 5

start off teaching him how to respect women and men. Not by just talking to him, show him. Let him know that if he wants to be in a meaningful relationship, he needs to start learning at an early age. Let him know that it is okay to open doors for people, say please and thank you, asking a person questions about themselves and actually listening to the responses. If you start teaching him now how you would like to be treated in a relationship (whether or not you are doesn't matter), he will learn how to treat others properly.

Best of luck

Answer 6

I think you just need to raise him to respect women and teach him good morals and he will figure it out. I mean not all men are like this and he will weed out the bad ones himself while he makes friends if you taught him good morals. When he's growing up if he says something wrong then let him know it is rude and why it is rude! Good luck hope i helped!

Answer 7

Remember that the opposite sex parent truly TEACHES a child how to relate their partner later on (a daughter learns from her father, a son learns from his mother); so make sure you are nurturing, loving, dependable, reliable and are emotionally available. Otherwise, he will recreate his childhood struggle with you when he seeks out his wife. This is imperative.

Congrats to you for acknowledging this - show him respect and love. Get him to church and teach him how to prioritze God in his life, family, etc.

You have a huge responsibility. Ask God to help you to be both parents. Ask St Joseph to be the man of the household and to guide you.

God Bless you.

Answer 8

You teach him to not be one of those men that you have bad feeling toward and show him how to treat a women right.