How are guests normally treated when they visit someone?

Question

I went to visit my cousin over Thanksgiving and I feel that I was not treated as a guest.

On the Friday after Thanksgiving, my cousin went to work and said she would come back at 3 p.m. She came back at 5:30 p.m. and then sat down and spent a few hours on the Internet. She did not even ask me if I wanted anything for dinner. I had to take out food for myself and eat it.

I had also sent her an expensive Birthday gift and took a gift to her house for her. She did not give me anything much in return.

I don't know if I should mention this to her or just not go visit her again.

My cousin is workaholic and basically involved only in her work. She has become worse as the years go by and its affecting her marriage also.

Its not my place to tell her how to live her life, but I felt hurt at how I was treated. It went downhill from there and it felt like I was not wanted in her house. I had asked her before I booked my ticket.

Answer 1

Even though you are family it doesn't excuse her pretty much ignoring you while you were there. You had to travel to get there and were there to visit her not to watch her work. It was very rude of her to do that. The best thing to do is next time she suggests a visit tell her that you know how busy she is with work and although you would love to see her you feel she just doesn't have the time for a visitor.

Answer 2

no, i dont think you were treated as a guest at all. She obviously got " family" and "guest" confused.
Was this a mutual visiting? I mean, did she invite you or did you say " i want to visit you" If its the latter, maybe she felt pressured to take you in and didnt want to.
But if its the first, that was rude. Her workaholicness may be part of it. This wouldnt stop me from visiting her again, but I would def say something to her if she starts acting like that again.

Answer 3

When we invite people over, it is because we want to share some time with them and treat them with great care and respect.

Sorry to hear that your cousin treated you this way. It sounds as though she is completely self absorbed.

Why not send her a note expressing how you felt by being ignored and that you did not understand why you were invited to her home. Regardless that she is 'family' her actions are very odd, rude and thoughtless.

I doubt this has anything to do with you personally, try not to take it as such. She has a problem.

Good luck.

Answer 4

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