Wait for full thing
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for p*ssies and asian ladies
2007-12-08 23:18:58 · 9 answers · asked by Cat burgler 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls as*. Girls love competition.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.
2007-12-08 23:19:50 · update #1
12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?
14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.
2007-12-08 23:20:36 · update #2
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.
21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.
24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get
2007-12-08 23:21:20 · update #3
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but i think it's funny.
26. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call youre going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now dont call.
Sorry it's so long!!!
2007-12-08 23:21:48 · update #4
Jeez people - stop taking this seriously! I'm a girl and certainly wouldn't want anyone to treat me like this - it's all a bit of tongue in cheek - funny because it is all the things you SHOULDN'T do when trying to impress a girl. Please note - this is put in the JOKES section!!!!
2007-12-09 04:54:50 · update #5
Very sick....
...but funny.
2007-12-08 23:27:26 · answer #1 · answered by Pat 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
this was a very strange post, no question per se, but funny to read. Funny because it is all the wrong things to do.
I would strongly suggest that you write a book of all this stuff with a disclaimer, you are not responsible for injury, battery, felony assault, murder or anything else the woman decides to inflict, or the personal crusade of distruction that a father, brother, uncle or other would chose to visit upon anyone who so treated a daughter or friend of mine in this manner. (I don't take offense, but sometimes extreme disease requires extreme cure, as Det. Cribb found out).
but if you publish, please email me cause I want an autographed copy, this was too funny. my girl friend would find it foolish but that is okay, I love her for no other reason than i chose to. (she never gave me a reason to love her and has worked hard to give me reason not to do so. Now that is a real woman, and I sure don't want to lose her. too many fakes out there.
seriously if you publish, let me know
this was funny stuff
2007-12-09 08:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by magnetic_azimuth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a load of rubbish, if i met a guy who had read this and thought "i think i'll try this" and he did all of what you said above, then i'd be SO annoyed! i dont agree to any of them and personnally i would of ditched you by the time you got to number 5 on your list. A bit of advise to all the guys out there who think this is a good post and you'll try it, all i'm saying is FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DONT DO IT you'll only upset the girl, and you'll probably never hear from her again. Girl's love being able to see if their guy loves them, and that they're not wasting their time. Even though i dont know the person who posted this, i dont think i'd want to know them, they seem a bit twisted....
2007-12-09 12:44:46 · answer #3 · answered by elmoxh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm, ill bet youre single.
okay, thats just mean. not even a little funny. sorry, try again?
2007-12-09 07:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by rhay ♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow great advice i used to just pull out my wang to impress girls, this is much better
2007-12-09 07:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
too long read half raging with tooth ache sorry star4u
2007-12-09 07:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
*yawn*
pull a woman???
2007-12-09 07:23:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you have alot to think about, don't you ???
2007-12-09 07:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by chuck k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol.
2007-12-09 07:29:04 · answer #9 · answered by HaSiCiT Bust A Tie A1 TieBusters 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋