Potty training 3 and a half year old?

Question

My daughter has a small tear in her anus, and her poo is apparently too solid, which makes her tear even worse everytime she goes. Because of this, I can't get her clean, she's dry, but refuses to poo in the toilet. She's already on Lactulose in mornings and Senna at night, has anyone got any suggestions that may help. Sticker charts don't work, I've tried sitting next to her, and warm baths help, but as soon as I put her on the toilet, she stops herself and starts crying. It's not a tantrum, she is truly upset.

The Dr diagnosed it, by sedating her and checking her rectum. She now has an ointment, that is supposed to numb and help heal. I have to put it up her bum twice a day. It's horrible. She lives on oranges, banana's, apples and yoghurt.

Answer 1

The more fuss you make the longer she will take, just let it take its course eventually she will use the toilet !! Use different colour tissues and tell her how the magic toilet flushes them away !!! They become fascinated ... Also plenty of fruit juice my daughter has to take lactulose daily too I used to give her prune juice this makes it less hard !! Your poor daughter will go to the loo when shes ready !!

Answer 2

This sounds like a really severe case. My daughter had the same thing and i think the tear on her bum healed but she was soooo scared of going it was horrible! All i did was not to make a big issue of it - if you are giving her lactulose and senna there isn't really anything else you cna give apart from syrup of figs - that worked for my daughter.

The more you are anxious about it the more stressed she will get - i promise you! Keep putting the cream on her just incase it hasn't healed and let nature take course.

I also used to rub my daughters back/tummy while she was on the loo and she used to like that.

My daughter now is pooing as normal even though i never thought she would.

i won't insult you by saying give a proper balanced diet as i know you will be xx

Answer 3

That must be difficult to confirm with a young child (a tear that is) unless you see bleeding or the child can tell you the area hurts. I think the hard stool is very common. My 3 year old often doesn't eat his veggies and as a result sometimes has the same problem when his stool is hard. He would rather go in his pants then the toilet because I think it is less painful lying down or standing than sitting on the toilet.

It may seem radical but what about a smaller diet for a while but continue vitamins. Would liquid intake like yoghurt's or puddings help maybe......
Check with a doctor or course. Also is there anything the doctor can give for kids to wipe the area to reduce pain (numbing) or swelling like there is for adults.

You could go to a padded underwear for a time but that is like going backwards and you hate to do that. But this way there is less to clean and your child could go at anytime while she is ill so to speak poor little thing. Good luck.

Answer 4

to squat, to seat in a potty is the natural position, helps the body to expel the poo, urine, or even to give birth easily.
Please, let her choose the position she wants, she is uncomfortable and the above position is the best, specially for constipated people or when the poo is too hard.
My child had the same problem, she would do inside the bath.
She only got better after we moved from a flat to a house. As my friend had guessed, I and my child suffered from constipation and hard poo because we lived in an apartment, as soon as we moved to a house, we don't have this problem at all... i don't know the how, ma by due to stress and bad energy we find in a high block properties.
Anyway, if it is not the case, give her organic milk instead.
Good idea is for her to be checked by a Homoeopathic doctor, they have wonderful medicine and easy for kids to take, without being aggressive to the body.

Answer 5

I am so sorry your daughter experiences so much pain. It is hard enough without the additional factors to make children comfortable on the toilet. I wanted to use a no pressure way that avoided me having to put my daughter somewhere she did not want to be. My daughter just loves The Potty Stool http://www.thepottystool.com I started by just setting it at the toilet. This stool makes every toilet kid-sized. My kids immediately climbed up on this stool and discovered that they could safely and securely use the toilet. This got them very interested in using the toilet and they were potty trained very quickly.

My kids like to use what they know mommy and daddy use. And it really is wonderful having your kids independently use the toilet on their own. The handles and sides make all the difference! My son and daughter felt very secure and the sides makes them feel comfortable and closed in when they use the toilet.

I like that I don't have to double the steps of potty training by training them first in a potty and then training them to stop using a potty. And not dumping and cleaning a potty each time is great. The best thing is that kids use it for years. I hope this helps you

Answer 6

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Answer 7

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Answer 8

aromatherapy essential oils such as peppermint and roman chamolmile will relax her intestine muscles when rubbed into her belly. As well as the other tips you have been given, add the essential oils.
They will relax her when going (she obviously wont put two and two together-her tummy massage and going to the toilet)
hope this helps.
Put some lavender in her bath and on her bedding too.. this will help in everyday relaxation too xx

i can do some distant Reiki healing on her at a set time and day too if you would like. i would need her name (or you could email a photo) and her ailments. As shes young, it met be better if i did it whilst she was sleeping...just so she's keeping still :-) xxx

[e-mail]
www.respondreiki.co.uk

Answer 9

you are just going to have to throw all nappy aways...so she has to use the loo/potty
she will be upset and she will cry. but if you do this for at least two weeks she will get use to it
you have to be harder.
if you can do at as her mother then find someone that can, who is not so emotionally involved.
if she can go in her nappy then there is NO reason she cant use the loo
You will have to make this tough choose soon so why not start today
She wont be able to start school till you have sorted this out.
schools will not be wanting a child of that age to be in nappy's
i dont mean to sound hard but this is what you have to do.

Answer 10

hmmm. have u thought about the potty. i know it's a little step back but if she goes and realises that it's not so bad after all then the toilet might be an option. just watch you aint making too much of it or forcing her too much. have you seen the doc about the tear, what has s/he suggested.

sorry i can't be much help. never come across this before