He is a recon marine and we have been in love for over a year now> it is mutual and he has just told me that he wants me to be his wife. He is 30 years old and says he has never felt about any women how he feels about me. He calls me every day to say hello and tells me that he loves me see what I am doing and who I am with and tells me he never wants to be apart from me again< he said lets go to vegas and get married< i told him there is the small part of engagement first but he tells me its just a formality to him. Well not to me, he wants me to move in with him next month but i want a bit more of a commitment before I do..he said sure I am ready to do that but he wants it to be the way he sees it and he has plans in mind. so here is the question what do you all think< is he just stringing me along (it does not feel that way I know he loves me) but still its a bit strange. Any good answers for me on this.
2007-12-08 19:28:12 · 11 answers · asked by one Life to live 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no long distance< he just calls every day on his way to and from work
2007-12-08 19:56:12 · update #1
Go with your gut instinct. And why on earth would you want to get married in Vegas? I know you love him, but this is your life your talking about. Seriously. If he loves you, he'll respect his "bride to be's" wishes & grant her the 'small' wish of having a joyful time of an engagement, time to really get to know each other before jumping the gun, etc. You only have one chance to get this whole thing done just right & just the way you want it to be so you'll have memories to last a lifetime. I wish you both the best of luck.
2007-12-08 19:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Toni 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold out for all the things that go with a dating relationship. Are you having a long-distance relationship right now? You say he calls you every day, so it sounds like you're dating over the phone. I'd wait till he came home permanently, so that you can date up close and see how he handles the day to day things. There's no rush, even though he's 30. It would be a shame to rush things, then end up in divorce court 'cause there were things that you didn't know about him until a few months later. Hold out for the engagement, the plans, the dreams, and all the rest of what goes into a relationship. Be each other's best friend. Engagement isn't just a formality. It's a learning time. It's a time to see if he's playing the dating game, or if he's the real thing. And moving in together before you're married is never a good idea, no matter how many have said that it worked out for them. Generally, it doesn't work out that good at all. If he really wants to marry you, he'll wait, and get to know you, and allow you to get to know him. Too many have rushed into marriage, only to find that they should have waited. What's a good period to wait? After he's home, date for about a year, then if it's what you both still want, get engaged. Plan your wedding. In about 6-12 months, get married. Yeah, I know...two years seems like a long time. Being in a marriage that's not working will seem much longer. I'd also spend that engagement time going to see a marriage counsellor or a pastor. They can ask questions that you'd never think of, and bring things out in the open that need to be discussed before marriage. You'll be so glad you did. With the divorce rate so high, get all the help you can before you get too far. It's easier to break an engagement than get a divorce, especially if there's kids in the mix. <*)))><
2007-12-09 03:49:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first instincts are right. Take your time, have an engagement period first. Never move in until the I do's. To be honest he sounds a little desperate, like he pushing you too fast.
He sounds possessive too. Calling everyday, wanting to know who you are with....believe me that gets old, then the possibility of abuse follows. If he truly loves you, then he will wait, and have an engagement first. This way if there is something strange, it will definitely appear. This gives u the chance to say no way.
2007-12-09 03:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by AB62 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to your question, sweetie.
NEVER let someone talk you out of what the little voice inside you is saying. The little voice inside you is the only voice that you can ever rely on 100%.
He may be totally sincere, but if he is not, or if it does not work out for some reason, you will never forgive yourself, and think that you could have avoided it it if you had only trusted yourself more.
Think about it; how many times have you gone through a rough time in your life, and when you looked back on it realized that you knew what to do the whole time, but you listened to someone else instead of to yourself? We all have.
If he is THE ONE, then he will do whatever it takes to make sure that you come to him strong, sure and ready in your own way.
Stay strong :)
2007-12-09 03:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't seem like he is stringing you along. It sounds like he needs more time. Give him that time. You can still be in a commited relationship without a ring on the finger. I know alot of people don't see it that way but that is just my opinion.
2007-12-09 03:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by Momof1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF HE HAS ASKED YOU TO MARRY HIM......AND ASKED YOU TO GO TO VEGAS TO BE MARRIED.....WHAT MORE OF A COMMITMENT DO YOU NEED.......YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR OVER A YEAR.......DAMN DOES REALITY HAVE TO HIT YOU ON THE HEAD LIKE A ROCK OR WHAT?
MOVE IN (IF YOU WANT)....HAVE ALONG ENGAGEMENT AND A BIG WEDDING.....
I MET MY WIFE....PROPOSED TO HER ON THE THIRD DATE....SHE MOVED IN 2 WEEKS AFTER THAT AND WE WERE MARRIED 3 MONTHS LATER......WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 8 YEARS...AND HAVE 2 BEAUTIFULL DAUGHTERS AND ANOTHER BABY ON THE WAY......
WHEN YOU KNOW ITS RIGHT YOU KNOW...SURE A LITTLE SCAREY BUT RIGHT NONE THE LESS.......FIGURE OUT WHATS HOLDING YOU BACK AND LISTEN TO YOU HEART.....A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT IS A LONG ONE.......MAYBE ITS YOU THAT IS HOLDING BACK.....
2007-12-09 03:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do believe that he truely loves you.
i mean, his ideas are cute. and yeah, you may think that you want more commitment with him before you move in with him, who wouldnt really? so i understand you on that. but what you should do is give him a try.
but just to warn you. he is part of the marines and he will have to leave at times. and you just have to respect him for being brave enough to stand for his country and fight.
but, it does really seem like he is in love with you, so if i was in your situation, i would move in with him.
good luck.
=]
i truely hope it goes well with you guys.
<3
2007-12-09 03:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has been on active service he might feel that he has to move quickly, and grab opportunities when they come up. He is probably well aware that it might be too late next week or next month or next year. Try to understand from his point of view - one stray bullet ......!
2007-12-09 03:38:05 · answer #8 · answered by Tardisman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he really loves you,,,and willing to commit to you,,if you feel uneasy about it go for the long engagement,,only time will tell,,if you feel its right,,then marry,,but sounds like you have a descent guy there,,all the best for the future,,
2007-12-09 03:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to that voice inside of you and follow your moral compass!
Good luck.
2007-12-09 03:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋