Ok, well there is this guy that i still love. we broke up because i cheated on him with my ex, and i told him. he was ok with it at first because i told him, but then he left me for another girl. i know he was still mad at me, i'm not stupid. well he got with her, and they had sex(we never did, and we were together for a year.) and he got her pregnet. now there getting married in a week and a half, and i dont know what to do. i still love him and i've left him alone for about 4 months and kept telling myself to leave him alone because hes happy now.
but i dont like this girl. i think that it is pretty weird that she just got out of a bad relationship with a guy and went for my guy(who would do anything to make a girl happy, he's just one of those guys) and convinced him to have sex with her right off the bat. i dont like her. she is just the rebound girl and my ex thinks he loves him. everyone who knows them dont think that she loves him.
what should i do? stop the wedding? what?
2007-12-08 17:21:09 · 17 answers · asked by u2crazy4meh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ok, what do you guys get? nobody thinks that this guy is the daddy!! god! i'm not stupid!! i would be the most awful ***** to try and mess with that! that is why i left him alone for so long! i thought the baby was his!! now that i'm pretty damn sure that the baby isnt his i dont know if i should do something. should i try and tell him to get a test done? should i call her out? i love this guy so much that i dont care if he will never be with me again, i desirve that, but i dont want him to get tricked in to taking care of a child that isnt his. if he wanted to take care of the baby knowing that it isnt his, more power to him, my step dad did the same thing and i love him to death! its just that i heard that if you get a divorce and you had a child while together that even if the child is not yours, but was born when you were married, you still have to pay child support. i dont want this girl to mooch off of this guy the rest of his life because he was being the sweet guy he is. got it
2007-12-08 18:51:32 · update #1
You stated, "its just that i heard that if you get a divorce and you had a child while together that even if the child is not yours, but was born when you were married, you still have to pay child support. i dont want this girl to mooch off of this guy the rest of his life because he was being the sweet guy he is. got it"
You heard incorrectly, this is not true. A man is responsible for paying child support if the child is biologically his, OR if he legally adopts the child. Marriage to the mother does not matter in the case of child support.
If you dated for a year & cheated on him, it seems to me that *you* are the girl who broke his heart ~ don't cause even more problems for him by creating drama about the new family he is trying to create.
The best thing you can do in this situation is back off.
If you care, then just be his friend ~ if things don't work out for him & his marriage be there to help him pick up the pieces.
2007-12-09 05:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want the best for him, move on with your life and allow him to move on with his. There's a child involved now, and he and the mom owe it to the child to do the best they can to provide a stable family. Don't contact him to "get something off your chest" or anything like that..... at this point in time, telling him you still love him is putting a stumbling block in the way of the path he needs to take to be a good dad. If you really care about a person, you probably don't want to tear them up inside like that...That's definitely not the way to go..... whenever the subject comes up, particularly if you speak to any mutual friends, just state that you wish him well and hope the baby is healthy. No matter what happens with the ex's relationship, you will still be able to keep your dignity.
PS- Regarding your additional details... as you mentioned, you don't know for sure that he doesn't know it might not be his child (in fact, you don't know for sure it isn't his child). Perhaps he truly loves this lady and doesn't care if he's the stepdad. If there is a serious chance that the child is not his and everyone knows it, leave it up to his friends or family to address the issue with him. It's not any of your business and you wouldn't want to make him so defensive about the issue that he won't listen to anyone.
2007-12-08 18:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by jc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you can tell him to get a test done if you want but odds are he won't listen because it might look like an attempt to get him back. But that's all you should do. This is his life and if it does turn out he's making a mistake then let him deal with it. Another thing is the same thing happened to me with my now fiance...only I was the prego. I didn't trick him into anything like some people think, it just happened. And we do love eachother. So maybe you have it all wrong?
Again let him live his life and stay out of it.
2007-12-09 03:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your place to stop the wedding. If you really love this guy like you think you do, then you need to allow him the freedom to make his own choices. He's really doing the right thing by marrying the mother of his baby. I don't know if it will work out or not, but I certainly wouldn't plan my life around waiting for his marriage to fall apart so that you can move in on him. You betrayed his trust in you by cheating on him, so I sincerely doubt he'd be interested in renewing the relationship anyway. Move on with your life, and hopefully you've learned from this experience. Good luck to you.
2007-12-08 18:33:31 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, this ship has sailed
The fiancee (Not You) is Pregnant
There is a child involved
Whether he is "happy" or not,
He is getting married in 10 days
because he asked her to marry him
Leaving him alone is the best thing
Reasons and all that don't count now
Time to move on
Have a pity party if you want
Big box of tissues & fattening cake
eat multiple slices and some bon bons too
There are new guys out there for you
Without this guy's baggage
Learn from this and go on
Get back in the game
You can do it
No more rent in your head for this guy
Let the wedding day come and go
You can move on
2007-12-08 17:28:49 · answer #5 · answered by ceviche queen 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's a shame you screwed up so royally that this "wonderful" guy left you for someone else after you broke his heart, but truly, he belongs to someone else now, and what he does is no longer any concern of yours. Maybe you should take this as a hard lesson--the next time a great, loyal, loving man comes your way, don't spit on him by cheating.
2007-12-09 00:00:46 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave the entire situation alone. He is not yours anymore. He is going to be a father (doesn't really matter if he produced it or not as long as he loves it)... So you need to just move on. If they turn out to not be right for each other then he needs to learn that on his own. You trying to split them up is only going to make you look like a jerk.
Lesson for you to learn...next time, if you love some one, don't cheat on them.
2007-12-09 05:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Walk away. Far far away. Let it go. Don't be defensive with everyone's answers because they are correct.
You don't want to be messed up in this crap. Believe me.
WE ALL HAVE REGRETS! I regret a failed relationship 32 years ago! But I moved on.
The faster you get through all this, the better off you will be.
2007-12-09 06:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by jjudijo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just dont think that she is "right" for him because in stead of you being thier, its her.... but sweetie, she's carring a child now, and they need to start thier family now, so i think that you really should leave them both alone!!!! Good Luck, you'll fall in love again, i promise.
2007-12-08 17:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by Me! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop blaming this other girl for what this guy did. He made a choice, he's sticking with it. Time to let go. Don't try to stop anything. It's none of your business anymore.
2007-12-09 04:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋