I have been talking to a girl for about 2 months now, and unfortunatly, she lives out of state. She really cares about me to the point that she is willing to leave her state to move here to be with me. I havent spoken to her in over 2 weeks now because of our work schedules have been all screwy. Since officially we are not dating I have been with other girls. I met a girl last night that I like, but yet again she lives not out of state but a few hours aways from me (7 hours to be specific).
The girl that I have been talking to will be down the day after my birthday to spend time with me. Should I continue to live this way? I mean I dont want her to move down here in vain. Whats the correct course of action I should take in this matter?
Do not reply hatefully, just honestly please.
2007-12-08 17:14:53 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just so everyone knows how far away we live. I live In GA and she lives in AZ
2007-12-08 17:27:09 · update #1
Be honest with her and let her make her own choices. If you have met someone else that you would like to date, then you should tell her and allow her to extricate herself from the situation before she relocates.
One thing to consider - you say you are not officially dating, but does SHE feel the same way? Have you two actually talked about this? Is she operating under the assumption that you two are exclusive? If so, then you need to set the record straight ASAP. If she believes yours to be a casual relationship and you both are dating others, then you can just tell her that if she does move then it will be an opportunity for the two of you to get to know each other better and decide if you do want to take things to the next level.
2007-12-08 17:22:35 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say that since you guys are not exclusive that is ok for you to see other girls however not totally right unless you let all parties involved that they are not the only ones you are seeing. I would see how things go the day after your birthday when you guys hang out and if you think that a relationship with this girl is worth it then persue one where she moves not IN with you but closer to you if she is willing to do so as far as the girl you met last night I would say that you don't know her well enough to drop the first girl. I would suggest though if you have the girl move from another state make the transition easier for her help her out in looking for an apartment, and a job so she is not all "butt" out if you know what I mean it's hard to go to a new state and not have anything.
2007-12-09 01:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by heathermboyer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate to hear you've been talking to other girls, especially if you're serious about the first girl, but that's your life so you can make your own decisions.
however, if you really do like this first girl, talk it out with her. it'd be a lot easier on both of you relationship-wise if she were closer, but find out if there are any other reasons for her moving here. like you said, if it didn't work out with you two (talking's not the same as dating, you know?) then she'd be here for no reason. try to talk with her and see if she has a job, or some other reason that it'd be a smart move to come here.
and if not, maybe you should also talk to her about the long distance thing. 1) do you want to try "dating long distance?" is it possible for you two to meet up every once and a while, or is it too far of a distance? 2) is it exclusive, or are you open to date/talk to other people? it wouldn't be fair to her if she were exclusive to you, thinking you were doing the same, you know?
good luck!
2007-12-09 01:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like she's pretty interested in you, the fact that she's willing to pack up and leave her home for you is a big indication of that. So although you're not officially together, I bet she hasn't been hooking up with other people. Would she be upset if she found out you were? It seems you're not as serious about this relationship as her so I think you should tell her not to move down, it will just end up hurting her, as well as affecting her financially.
2007-12-09 01:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I didn't finished reading your story.
DHDA, sorry... Anyway. Long distance, never EVER works. You need the person to be there and is just stressing, it has all the bad part of the break-up and hardly none of the actual relationship.
So, unless you want to leave the state to go and meet her in real life (which is not a bad idea) I'd suggest you snap out of it.
Sorry... again.
2007-12-09 01:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by Psycho Panda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK stop being a typical guy please!
you keep playing this game you are going to end up by your self with none of the girls. First look inside you and find out who do you like the most? who is it that you really want to be with? who can you stop thinking about? who is your number one girl? Forget the distance issue that can be fix. You need to make a decision before those girls find out about each other because if they do... well let me just say .... God be with you! lol
This is something you need to figure out your self and i wish you luck.. I hope you figure it out i know what its like to be confuse but i have been able to come out of the confusion before hurting any one...I hope you do the same! =]
2007-12-09 01:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by nell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really care about the girl thats coming down for your birthday (obviously she cares about you) then i would stop meeting with other girls and maybe thinking about getting more serious with this girl. Maybe you guys could start going out. Cause this is just my thinking but i also think things out way to much, but talking to her and leading her on to the point she wants to move to where you are, then going out with other girls is kinda like cheating on her. Just think about that.
GOOD LUCK! =)
2007-12-09 01:23:07 · answer #7 · answered by Ceecee M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i think its up to you to make this decision. which girl do you feel more connected to? and are you willing to have a long distant relationship? or is it a problem for you? but i honestly would just be friends with the girl out of state. i mean let her move around your area.. and if things dont work out between you 2 later.. she cant blame you for pressuring her to move.. it was her own decision..and if you really like her.. stick with her.. sometimes long distant relationships work better. its your choice.
2007-12-09 01:22:05 · answer #8 · answered by ninnx3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell her that all of this is too fast for you.
Take a couple of weekend trips to get to know each other more.
Follow your heart, it'll work out in the end for the best.
2007-12-09 01:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not continue to live this way, you will have to decide to whom you want to live and who can do so.
2007-12-09 01:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋