Is it possible to elope secretly and then have a traditional wedding down the road?

Question

My fiance and i want to have a wedding with our friends and family there....however, he is a Marine and is stationed in Cali, I live in FL. Unfortunately i cant live with him until we are married because we cannot afford it. So we were thinking about eloping and not telling anyone. Then have a "real" wedding and reception a couple months down the road when we can save more money for it. He gets extra money for being married. How would i pull something like this off?

Answer 1

Sure, why not. People don't need to know what you did while in California. Just get with the minister who is performing the wedding in Fla, and let him know whats going on. People have 2 weddings all the time, just let the minister know to keep it a secret, and what he wants done as far as the wedding certificate.

Answer 2

First, congratulations!
I'd just do it. Like others have noted, it's no secret how the military functions. If you're worried about the religious aspect- you'll be legally married so sex/living together should be fine.
Etiquette would indicate that your "real" wedding should then be called a "Recommitment Ceremony"- though if no one but family knows you can still get away with Wedding Ceremony. Either way- it doesn't matter. It's a day to celebrate your Union no matter what it's called or when it's held. The fact that you may already be "legally" husband and wife has no bearing on the celebration and witnessing of vows.
Also, I'd consider having simply a reception later on instead of the big wedding- unless you have your heart set on the white dress and such (then just go for it). I've found personally that the party and celebrating with friends (not boozing, but celebrating) is the most important part. Remember too, that it's only ONE DAY- be sure it doesn't break you financially. A house is more important than a huge extravagant wedding, wouldn't you say?
Blessings to you.

Answer 3

Eloping Before The Wedding

Answer 4

All you need is one person you trust to keep a secret to be a witness at the legal part of it. My friends are getting married in June with a huge ridiculously expensive wedding that's been in the planning stages for 6 months now but they are getting married secretly this month because she needs to be on his insurance. I am their witness and they don't want anyone else to know because they don't want people to feel as though their wedding is not a real wedding. Another option is what my husband and I did. We got married at the courthouse and then had a reception the next day. He didn't feel comfortable doing the ceremony part in front of other people so we did that privately and then dressed up and did all the traditional stuff at the reception. I am also a caterer and do many weddings and this happens frequently with military families. I even had one couple who got married the day before he left for Iraq and had a ceremony almost a year later. It's your wedding so you can do it however works for you and your friends and family should support you and stand by your side. Best wishes on a happy marriage!

Answer 5

I just recently found out my mom and dad did this when my mom was l8, then they had a real wedding a year later...then were married over 50 years until my dad died. I know they drove down to Tennessee to do it but this was in the days before blood testing was necessary. The first step would be to call your county court clerk's office and see what the requirements are to get a wedding license. Once you have your license you can probably go to the clerk's office again to be married. It probably won't be that hard to do.

Answer 6

Hi. This question gets asked lots.

OK...so when you move in with him...won't everyone know that you are married? You say you can't live with him until you are married because you can't afford it....so that means when you move in people WILL know!

Anyway...why the secret in the first place? NO...don't do two weddings....that is stupid. YES....the elopement IS YOUR REAL wedding. Also....it runs into problems with the marriage license. You can only have ONE marriage license....so what do you do for the second wedding when it comes time for the minister or the officiant to sign the license. They do not want to be lied to...you would need to come clean with the minister. And....it is hard to keep a secret. It WILL get out eventually.

Anyway....have ONE wedding. If you can't afford a big one...have something really small...at someone's home; someone's backyard, etc. Make it a family potluck. Go online to research low cost alternative weddings. Think "outside the box."

Answer 7

There's certainly no harm in trying. However, there is nothing wrong with getting married via local court and having a wedding at a later time. You satisfy the military requirement of a marriage license and supporting documentation, as well not being engaged in an act of subterfuge (which may offend family).

Answer 8

No.
You only get married once between divorces. If you can't afford to live with him now then how will you afford a big wedding later on? Or is the reason you are keeping it secret so Dad will pay?
This is not a good way to start your life together. Wait or be happy with just the one you love around you.

Answer 9

Absolutely! I know several couples who have run off to the courthouse to get married and then sometime later have a traditional wedding. There's nothing wrong with that at all. I wish you all the best!

Answer 10

I eloped to Bay St. Louis, Miss when I was 17, then went back home to New Orleans and lived there for 2 more months before having a church wedding. Only my mother knew about the elopement because my hubby forgot he was wearing his wedding band and she guessed it. Thanks to her, she convinced my father to let us get married.