my girlfriend introduced my 15 year old daughter to her parents as my sister, how do i react?

Question

ok. im 29, my girlfriend is 23, and my daughter is 15. we went over to her parents house earlyer today, and when my girlfriend was introducing my daugter she said "this is, uhh, this is kye, joel's sister. she lives with him." I dont understand why she couldent just tell her parents the truth. i no that i was very young (14) but i have lived up to my responsibilitys, and stayed with my baby girl, when her mother wouldent. How would you react if your girlfriend wouldent introduce your daughter as your daughter, but as your sister. Me and her have talked about marrige, and we are both thinking that that is what we want, and she seems to love my daughter as much as i do. what do you think.

if you need anymore info, just ask the question and i will edit the answer in.

I asked my daughter how she felt about it, and she said that it was 'arkward, but "whatever" '

my girlfriend (cassy) is normally great with my daughter, neither of them have a problem with each other, and cassy seems to have taken on sort of a parental role with kye. thats why this is so weird for me.

Answer 1

she probably does love your daughter as much as you do, however, even though it may not really bother her, she might be a little embarrassed about telling her parents that her boyfriend wasn't only sexually active at 14 [which believe me, in high school isn't really all that unusual, except for the goodie goodies like me:)], but he also got some chik pregnant. and i really do not mean to sound as harsh as i am probably sounding, b/c frankly i am not here to tell you that you r a horrible person, in fact i think it takes a lot to take care of a child at 14.

i am 15 now, and i cannot even to BEGIN to imagine what raising a child now would turn me into; i feel for you=[

anyways, its either that or, which now that i think about it is more probable, she might be trying to make you seem "better" [in her parents definition of "good"] so that her parents will like you. she loves you more than her parents could understand and wants to be wit you and she really wants her parents to see why, and love you like she does. however, if you 2 are planning on getting married, she can't go around telling lies about you especially not to her parents b/c in the end they will need to find out, and they will not see their daughter as being the liar ,but you instead b/c you let them beleive something which was a HUGEE lie.

i know its hard to understand what i typed, but just talk to her about it and tell her that you are a little offended that she lied about your daughter. tell her that you regret nothing about having your daughter and that you love her more than you own existance and if you could go bak to when you had the choice of staying in her life, you would make the same choice, b/c no one could ever fill the void you would have if you daughter wasn't there, and you aren't embaressed about it.

trust me, she will understand.

good luck with this lady, but if she cannot accept your daughter, she doesn't deserve you; you and your daughter are a packaged deal, i hope she can understand that.

hope this helped=]]]]]

Answer 2

In front of her parents while she is standing there, very casually state to her parents, that this is your daughter NAME and what occurred when you were 14 and you are a stand up guy. In front of your girlfriend and the way she reacts will tell you if you want her to be your wife. If she is ashamed of your daughter now, it will play sides with you and your daughter. and your marriage, Unity is the question here, is there? or not Also if her parents do not react favorably see how she responds to them, does she stand up for her or not

Answer 3

I am going to say this Dr Phil would say "ARE YOU KIDDING ME". You girlfriend is having some kind of issues. Your daughter must have been feeling pretty bad. You should have told them the true "that she was your daughter". I would not marry her because obviously she has no respect for your daughter. Your poor child. And I can say that she would not or couldn't be a good mom to your daughter or a friend to her. She did make it sound like your incest between the your daughter and you in my eyes and you should open your's. Is your daughter a good daughter is so tell your girlfriend to correct herself and make sure you are all there so that your daughter knows. And you say she seems to love her that is borderline crap. Sorry for my strong opinions, but if you marry her you mine as well say good bye to your daughter.

Answer 4

Your girlfriend shouldn't have introduced you to her parents until she was ready to be honest about something as major as your child.

The one thing I don't see in your question is the thing that bothers me most: The impact it had on your daughter. I'm sure it couldn't have made her feel accepted; but, more importantly, an adult with a major role in your daughter's life openly lied in her presence. Not cool!

I would question whether your girlfriend has the maturity to handle marriage and parenting. If I were you, I'd step back from this relationship.

Answer 5

She might be worried what her parents will say or think about you, she'll probably tell them later when her parents have gotten to know you and your daughter a bit more. Talk to her about how that made you feel though, she might just be scared. Truthfully, I think it makes you sound like a good person, most teenage fathers leave their child. Just talk to her and your daughter about it, maybe you can work everything out soon. Sorry you've been put in this situation, it must be awkward :0( Anyway, good luck.

Answer 6

I think I would have been mad. And in front of my daughter too. I would have said "Actually shes my daughter and I am very proud of her. I think your daughter might find this situation a bit uncomfortable and awkward but I have nothing to hide. *Kye, this is Mr and Mrs. *insert name here*. Say hi."

Her parents will likely admire you for it. She will feel sheepish but that is what she should have done in the first place.

Answer 7

You already know that your daughter's needs to come before any woman. You have been raising her all these years. Is a woman who won't acknowledge your daughter someone you really want in your life?

Answer 8

Talk with your girlfriend. It could be that she had every intention of telling her parents that she is your daughter, but chocked at the last minute. Perfectly logical and reasonable people choke. Best of luck.

Answer 9

she's either embarrassed about it, or not ready to let her parents know that you had a kid at 14. she's 23. that's 8 years older than your daughter, and not exactly "mom" age. she probably feels like a sister to her. why don't you ask HER why she did that?

Answer 10

your girlfriend sounds embarrassed about the fact that you were a father at such a young age. but clearly you were responsible enough to take care of your daughter. talk to her and ask her about it directly. if i was in that situation, it would bother me and make me question whether shes embarrassed of me or what. also talk to your daughter and ask her what she thought of the situation...