He has to have control over you and treat you like a child and does not want you to become better then him ?
2007-12-08 15:27:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when i mean better i meany by furthing my education .
2007-12-08 15:39:16 · update #1
get him out of your life there are plenty of real men out there
2007-12-08 15:30:03 · answer #1 · answered by wmorvel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Omg, I know the feeling...my husband is a good father, but as a husband he has always been controlling, until the past year, that is. I wasnt allowed to go to school, get a job(unless it was in a private home, no public places) or even go out on weekends. About a year ago, I decided that I was sick of this, so I began to take control of things myself. If he didnt like it, then so be it. I started going to EMT school, going out with friends ocassionally, and doing things I enjoyed. I told him if he didnt like it, then leave. I knew if he did, I had no way to support myself and kids, at the time, but was willing to take the chance. Fortunately he decided to stick around, and change his ways. Now I have finished school, well on my way to a good job, and enjoy a bit of time alone every weekend. I took the chance, and am extremely glad I did. Hope things work out for you!
2007-12-08 23:34:13 · answer #2 · answered by wendymichelle74 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll never be better you're equal.
He tries to contol because you try to dominate.
Your question should have been: how do we learn to live equally with each other? But I doubt you're interested in equality.
My guess is that this is one in a long line of men who behave like this and you'll be asking yourself why do always get this kind of man?
Well, you choose them and you probably play on their insecurities a bit for the constant attention and afirmation that you are wanted and needed.
Everybody else has really hit the nail on the head and you really should dump him.
2007-12-08 23:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the best way to deal with it (besides the obvious answer of "dump him") is to tell him seriously that there is an obvious issue in his upbringing that he thinks this is acceptable behavior and that you'd really like him to figure out WHY he feels the need to put you in your place. And ask him specifics, so he can't just say "no" or "what are you talking about?". If you say "I was thinking...was your mother really controlling? or Did you ever feel bad when your dad mistreated your mother? (that way he has to EXPLAIN HOW she was treated, and how he was treated...making an assumption forces him to correct it or acknowledge it).
Best of luck doll.
2007-12-08 23:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him that regardless of what he wants, you have control over your own life and your own decisions and that you will always be the best that you can be. If a man doesn't want to see you do your best, that is not a man to keep company with. He will not look out for your best interest because he is damaged goods. To deal with him, you ignore his absurdities.
2007-12-08 23:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by truly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ... aren't you seeking to control him by becoming "better" than him and using that to your advantage?
You should not try to become better than your bf or gf ... just better than yourself. If you are trying to become "better" than a bf or gf, then you should just get a new lover because if you do ever become "better" you'll just dump the person you are with anyway for someone more like yourself.
2007-12-08 23:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by Dark Zorro 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if hes important to u in ur life try to dig deeper and find out why hes so insecure and try to help him gain some confidence and self esteem. or calmly tell him ur not a child and u do not want to be taken control of. if he doesn't take a hint let him go becuz hes not worth it then.
2007-12-08 23:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, don't walk, away, as far as you can get! There are lots of great men out there, you definitely don't need a guy with such low self esteem. Trying to deal with him is just going to hurt you. There IS no way to deal with him.
2007-12-08 23:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by Rose B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the thing...You just don't deal with them, you break up with them. I mean come on, would you want the person who is supposed to be there for you to push you down when you feel already for some reason? The answer is NO, you don't :) Just forget about him and let him be miserable if he wants.
2007-12-08 23:31:44 · answer #9 · answered by ^Blue Rose^ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get rid of him. Trust me, there's nothing worse in the whole world then letting somebody control you, you'd be hurting yourself if you did. You'd turn into somebody who has to depend on others for anything, no matter how small it is, and that's somebody you definitely don't want to be.
2007-12-08 23:30:24 · answer #10 · answered by winds_of_justice 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him quickly!!
Get away as fast as you can! If he won't leave you alone, take out an order of protection & if that doesn't work, go for the restraining order.
2007-12-08 23:30:47 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋