I just asked a little bit ago whether anybody here in R&S knew of a good place to buy a god-detector. And I was startled to see that quite a few people were recommending that I go out and buy a bible, because that also works as a god-detector.
The troubling thing is, I already HAVE a bible. I've read it. I just...well, I guess maybe I shouldn't have thrown away the instruction manual. How exactly do you get it to detect god? Is there a hidden battery compartment or something? Does the wiring go bad after a while?
I've had it for over a decade and I've never known it to give me any indication that there was a god anywhere around. Is it supposed to beep or something?
I've got it sitting on my bookshelf right next to my Koran...do you think there's some kind of interference going on? Like with speakers and monitors? Would it help if I put them in separate rooms?
2007-12-08 15:23:26 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
russj: Thanks; I'll try that. If something goes wrong, do you think insurance will cover it?
2007-12-08 15:31:05 · update #1
Sesshomaru: No good; nothing different. Nice Avatar, btw--Fluffy is my hero.
2007-12-08 15:33:02 · update #2
DeepDiver: I think I just might have to follow your advice after all. Do you think the'll still have a decent selection of colors at this point in the season? I suppose I could always back-order...
thebabelinkins: I prefer smart@$$es to dumb@$$es.
2007-12-08 15:35:03 · update #3
ktbug333: Seriously, I used to do that when I was about 15 or so. That very thing, all the time. And nothing, I repeat nothing, noteworthy ever happened.
2007-12-08 15:36:22 · update #4
"I think apple might be coming out with their own god-o-meter. Its gonna be called i(cant find)god."
LOL!! I'll have to put it in my letter to Santa...
2007-12-08 15:48:43 · update #5
Take a long knitting needle and insert the sharp end into one of your nostrils. Shove hard and use a side to side motion. Remove knitting needle and reread your bible. God should become apparent almost immediately.
Edit: No insurance required. If you find you have problems, they can be remedied by going to Health Education and Liturgation Library. H.E.L.L will fix any problems associated with not detecting God. Good luck.
2007-12-08 15:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by russj 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
My diagnosis is that this is a user error. If you threw away the manual, how do you expect the Bible to work for you?
Just so you know, the basic instructions are actually pretty simple, though:
1) Believe in God. The stronger your belief, the better your results.
[If you can't find strength to believe in God, then brainwash yourself to believe it]
2) Read.
The idea is that whatever mindset you have when reading the Bible will affect what you get out of it. If you are looking for contradictions, you will find them. If you are looking for hope, you will find it. And if you are looking for a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart to tell you God is there, I'm sure you can find that too.
2007-12-08 23:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by deekun 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That sux man. But if u want to detect god, you could always by a god-o-meter down at the radioshack. I think apple might be coming out with their own god-o-meter. Its gonna be called i(cant find)god. as for your bible, i think its to far gone to be saved (pun intended lol)
2007-12-08 23:40:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Separation from God/Source is an illusion. If you believe that God is some far off aspiration, then so be it. It matters not what one tells you to believe, what matters is that you have that real connection to God/Source in your heart. There is the Truth, the Light, and the Way...
If you wish to detect God/Source, then open your heart and trust your instinct. That is where the truth lies.
As far as your separation of the Bible and the Koran... Source sent us information according to our current situation in our environment, to liberate us from what was thought to be wrong. In God/Light there is only love, so do not feel that you have to choose between religions, know that Source dwells with-in you and that you are a light of the One. Be the change you wish to see.....Gandhi....
2007-12-08 23:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by violet369 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It helps to NOT look at a Bible as a "good luck charm". There are things in the Word of GOD that are life changng. It has brought me to my knees many times. I guess I was prepared to let the Word of GOD change me. If you mock it, or close yourself to the power of the Gospel, then you will experience exactly what you have described!
GOD bless
2007-12-08 23:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by Exodus 20:1-17 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Get one from Sears dude, the Bible is not an operational tool,
and there are so many versions, you don't know who's God you will attract, and no warranty
2007-12-08 23:28:24 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't be silly, to find God all you have to do is look within your heart. The Bible will help you learn all you need to know about God.
God is found within the hearts of all men, women, and children.
It's in our nature.
Look hard my friend and don't let yourself be confused by the darkness which lives in our minds.
I found God and you will to. We all find God. Sooner or later.
2007-12-08 23:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Adversity 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you need to use your imagination. Just a little bit, mind you; if you use too much imagination you might end up coming up with a new religion like Mormonism or Scientology.
2007-12-08 23:31:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I like it 100 thumbs up!
2007-12-08 23:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tardisman 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you want to detect God get on your knees and start to pray.
God will answer and you will have detected God.
2007-12-08 23:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by zoril 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋