okay
I have a good Christian family, good neighboor hood, ect and most ppl think i'm living well off except for i'm not.
my dad used to be a drunk and went to jail for it, then he stopped and i just found out that he secretly started again, dad thinks mom is having affair but nobody knows for sure, parents r undecided about divorce and both ask me and my 6 year old sister if we want them to break up or not, we're broke and in HUGE debt and no money but parents spend ruthlessly, and it's AWFUL. we all try to cover it up from everybody but i always feel like my life is a big fat LIE which it kind of is. I really need something in my life thatll help me forget my problems like u know in books and movies how ppl sneak out of their houses and go make out with guys (ya i know i'm only 14) or a boyfriend or idk just something exciting that will make me actually look forward to life unlike how i get up every morning and wish i were dead. i kno, im desperate & its sad i hafta go online for this
2007-12-08 15:07:29 · 11 answers · asked by m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow. You're in a crappy situation, through no fault of your own, and unfortunately there's not much you can do right now to change that. However, maybe you should explore your talents and interests and focus on what you can do to start building your future now. Don't look to others to turn your attitude around for you, or you could end up just leaving yourself open for some guy to totally use you. Instead, try to list the things you are interested in, like, I dunno, maybe acting, or singing, or sports of some sort, and get involved in that. It will help take your mind off of the home situation for a while, and will give you a new sense of purpose and direction. Good luck! ;)
2007-12-08 15:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by iNsTaNt pUdDiNhEaD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! Why the hell is this even a question? Do you not remember your feelings and peer pressure when you were 14? I asked my granddaughter and her boyfriend to sit up on the couch please. This is my house and I pay the bills. My granddaughter goes to my daughter and complains. My daughter comes in to me and loud enough for all to hear, "don't say anything I'm the parent" and I let her know if I am providing a roof over everyone's head and have no authority, then I quit. I told her move on feel free to pay her own way. My daughter states, you made out with your boyfriend in front of us (we were living together for over 3 years) and I stated I'm an adult not 14 years old. Kissing and wrapping my legs around his waist are two different things. When my granddaughter get pregnant, I will not help. I'm sorry but I believe my granddaughter and her boyfriend are pulling the wool over her eyes.
2016-04-08 02:48:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Christian family, check again alcoholism and adultery are those things standard in a good christian family? Anyhow it is not sad that you have to go on line for help because there are a lot of people with a lot of life experience that are on line. You are still young and you want to die eh, well it is more likely you are tired of your life as it is and it is time for a change. Set a goal or two for example take up running, it gets you out of the house and gives you exercise and time to think. Try martial arts good for discipline and health and will give you self confidence and the ability to empower yourself. Hey you may meet some new people at a martial arts class. Forgetting your problems does not make them go away confront them ask you father if he needs help such as Alcoholics Anonymous also confront your mother and ask her if she having an affair. I realize that you are young with a plate full of issues but do not worry your life is ahead and like I said set some goals no matter how big or small. Work towards them and appreciate yourself for who you are and what you have to offer.
2007-12-08 15:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by Canuck1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your family is in such turmoil and you're feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Add being a teenager to the mix, and things aren't much easier. A lot of families try to mask their lives from people on the outside.
Do you have someone you can talk to at school (a teacher, guidence counselor, etc) who you feel like you can confide in? Sometimes talking to someone can help you feel a lot better.
Also, looking for a boyfriend isn't a bad thing. I started dating around 14-- never anything serious, but it's nice to have a special someone in your life who really cares about you and will allow you to cry on their shoulder... and most importantly, that you can have fun with. People assume these days that having a boyfriend automatically means sex, but I truly believe that you can have a meaningful relationship (even at 14) without going all the way. I'm proof of that. My boyfriend at 14 and I just had fun together, without mixing in too much physicality (except for kissing, of course... lol).
Try making some fun plans for yourself and some friends. On the weekend go to the movies, go hiking, shopping, play mini-golf, go bowling, stuff like that. All those things are fun and can definitely give you something to look forward to.
Lastly, have you considering joining up with any school activities? I would highly recommend joining a sport (cheerleading, swim team, track, basketball, soccer, etc), even if you're not great at it-- cos you'll get better-- because it'll allow you to get out any aggression or bad feelings, and will leave you feeling satisfied. It'll also keep you busy and away from home with all the games and practices, which will help you keep your mind off the problems that you shouldn't have to deal with in the first place. If sports aren't for you, try out for your school play/musical, or join a club. Any of these things will take up your time, give you something to look forward to, and will help you to make new friends :)
Good luck, sweetheart. Don't feel bad about asking about this online. Sometimes it's the best place to get advice; we don't know you here so no one will judge you (at least they shouldn't!).
2007-12-08 15:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by Kavasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very common in families with alcoholism; they expect the kids and the people that are not drunk to cover for them, and everybody feels they have to. But this is NOT healthy. It only allows things to get worse.
You can't control what your parents do and it's not your fault. You should probably start going to Alateen meetings to learn from other young people in similar situations. Talk to your school counselor about what is happening and they can probably tell you where to go to meetings too. This is just the sort of thing that school counselors are there for.
Since you are a Christian, I'd also recommend you make an appointment to talk to your pastor about it, of find somebody in your church community that you can talk to. Churches often have Alateen meetings on the premises.
I wish you well.
2007-12-08 15:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad also drinks a lot and my mom keeps threatening him with divorce, I can't do much about it, atleast I got the army to look forward to, and maybe even straighten some new people out :D!
2007-12-08 15:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by xatrx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wish I could help you, but I'm no psychologist or anything.
Be optimistic. Life is worth living. Obstacles make life beautiful.
To answer your question; a movie called Thirteen.
It's actually a very nice movie.
2007-12-08 15:15:54 · answer #7 · answered by hello 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every morning when you wake up, look in the mirror and say, in 4 years I'm outta here and I will not live my life this way.
PS. Making out with boys is only exciting while it lasts, then you feel dumb after, at least I would.
2007-12-08 15:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by KneeKnee 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
my advice is to join a club (church, book,etc.) then you have something to look forward to at least 1 day a week i mean it sux but i mean it kinda depends on the person u are are you outgoing, quiet, smart??????? im mean i like i said clubs help me or sports or just go somewhere like every weekend thats not to expensive with your friends. i hope that helps
2007-12-08 15:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by darry 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't let other peoples problems bring you down.
I'd recommend either trying to explore your artistic side (a great release), or take up Aikido,
2007-12-08 15:12:15 · answer #10 · answered by sthetx 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋