My fiance (we've been together over 7 years) and I just moved into our first house this year and I was looking forward to having all the family over for the holidays... However, some things happened during the year that caused a lot of drama and heartache, and now my fiance doesn't want his parents or sister to come over for the holidays... In fact, he doesn't even want to see them for the holidays...
Some things that happened:
-we bought his mom & dad (expensive!!) wedding bands for their 25th anniversary, which they turned around a pawned just a few weeks later so they could buy cigarettes and crap that they wanted more i guess...
-my fiance's sister has started numerous fights with me... out of nowhere, she just gets in a bad mood and starts rehashing stuff from every other fight we've ever been in...
-my fiance's mother and my fiance's brother's wife got into some disagreements when they were living together and my fiance's sister-in-law claims that if they come over for
2007-12-08 14:25:50 · 6 answers · asked by idgaf 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
(they being my future parents-in-law and my future sister-in-law) come over for the holidays, she won't come...
-my future sister-in-law is dating a guy that's over 10 years older than her and he has characteristics of a pedophile and everyone in the family questions whether or not he is one...
-my fiance's parents have borrowed money in the past and never re-paid us (like, thousands of dollars...) and my fiance says that is adding to his not wanting them to come...
-my fiance's dad has the same name and all of his dad's bad credit goes on my fiance's report and it is a never ending battle to keep his credit good, which is adding to his resentment of his parents even more...
-my fiance says his parents still haven't learned any lessons about money or conning people out of money and other things... (for example, they are already being kicked out of their new apartment and they are still asking family members for financial help and also help with rides as they have no car...)
2007-12-08 14:30:17 · update #1
My quesiton is... What can I do about this situation?? My fiance always says that he doesn't want to see his parents and sister every year, but every year he gives in and sees them... He seems to be way more serious this year... And he already didn't see them for Thanksgiving... It's not that I want everyone together to start drama or anything, I just love to have a house full of people for the holidays, and I know my fiance's grandmother wants to see his mom and dad... I know everyone will be on their best behavior... Plus, I want to show everyone our new home that we've put so much hard work into making a home!! How can I convince him to have holidays with the family, or should I just not even bother trying to make him see his family when he doesn't want to??? Thanks in advance for the answers...
2007-12-08 14:32:42 · update #2
With all of the history of drama I can understand why he feels that way. I wouldn't push it. Invite the ones he wants and your family and enjoy who's there. You can't force people to get along and you can't force them to like each other. It seems like you want the dream of the 'perfect family holiday' but it is just a dream. Let it go and make the most of the people in your life who are good to you. Best of luck!
2007-12-08 14:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the question? If it's should you have them anyway, I would say no. Less stress and doesn't sound like you would be missing much.
Addition: I would let it be it's his family and he needs to figure out where they fit in his life. Can you invite your family or some friends to help you celebrate? Sorry you have to go through this it's tough but sometimes family can push there limits to far and you have to do whats best for you to keep you sanity. Maybe your fiance just needs a break from it this year. Just be supportive of his decision.
2007-12-08 22:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by sanzoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide whose needs are more important, yours or your fiance's. Im on his side. His parents are leeches and they dont deserve any consideration.
2007-12-08 22:58:28 · answer #3 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you all have about the same value system, so by all means get everybody into the house.
What about your own parents? Are they too healthy to spend holidays with you?
2007-12-08 22:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I guess all of that being said, it would be best to not have them over.If your husband doesn't want it I'd respect his wishes,sounds like way too much to have to deal with.Good luck:)
2007-12-08 22:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by superstar 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Simple, don't invite his parents and your holiday will be happier
2007-12-08 22:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by dixie_n_pixie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋