It's breaking my heart, how could they do this?

Question

My aunt & uncle are getting a divorce. My uncle is my moms brother. When my aunt moved out she was VERY rude and immature about it. Her and my cousins left all pictures and anything that was connected to my uncles side of the family. I am only 14 and knowing that she left things behind that I gave her/pictures etc. makes me feel angry and unwanted. As if she and my cousins don't love me anymore. I had some confidence and esteem issues before, but now I am hysterical. She is so caught up in her own little world she probably doesn't even know how much she is hurting me. How can I cope with this? And is it just me, or is it immature to do what she's doing?

Answer 1

She is going through something very personal right now. Being 14 I'm sure divorce is something hard for yo to under, and maybe she just needs to completely serperate herself from everything to clear her mind. This is not about you- its about her and her husband and children. I hope I don't come off as rude but she has to think about who's going to live where,custody of the children, finances, property etc. Her life is going to completely change and I'm sure she's not concerned about the 'outside' family. Give her time.

Answer 2

Oh sweetie try not to get caught up in their issues. I know that it hurts you in what she did with your pictures, but remember her and you uncle are going through a really hard time. Some people don't realize that because they are so angry they land up hurting others. Don't dwell on the fact she didn't take your pictures, its more pictures for you Uncle who right now needs all the family members to support him. Blood is thicker than water. Let her go. Let her act anyway she wants, she is no blood to you. And if your cousins are acting the same way as she, their loss not yours. You keeping going strong and be there for you uncle okay. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 3

I know that you are hurting, but please understand that this really has nothing to do with you. It is not about you, it is about her. Her whole life and marriage are in turmoil, she pulled up stakes and moved out - she is not worried about everything that anyone gave her, no matter how much it might have meant at the time. I am not saying that she may not have been rude - but she is focusing only on herself, because that is what she needs to do right now. Because she is focusing only on herself, I hope you can see that it does not reflect on you in any way, good or bad, so you have no reason to feel angry and unwanted. But you need to look at what you wrote: "she is so caught up in her own little world she probably doesn't even know how much she is hurting me." That is really pretty selfish on your part. You are so caught up in your own little world, you think that everyone else should make their actions about you, so as to help your fragile self-esteem!? That is really very immature on your part. When an adult person is angry enough to dissolve a marriage, they are NOT thinking about everyone else who might be hurt secondarily, but I don't see your direct interest in this - you are not her kid, you are not her spouse. You are a niece, and you are investing way too much significance in "stuff" that you gave. It is immature of YOU to focus on this, and you need to get counseling for yourself to figure out how to address your self esteem instead of thinking that the world should revolve around you.

Answer 4

Divorce is really tough! I am sure she loves you a lot and never intended to hurt you. This was possibly an immature way of attacking your uncle and showing him how she doesn't need him or his family. Please giver her sometime to adjust and I am sure she will come around. Think of how heart broken she must be loosing her husband and her childrens dad as a whole component. Her acts have nothing to do with you even if they feel like they are. You could always write her a letter telling her how you feel and if you want her to be a part of your life she needs to know. Maybe she is embarassed. Also sometimes when people get divorced they feel like the inlaws don't like them so they stay away even if it's not true. You need to tell her how you feel and give it sometime. I am sorry this is happening to your family, divorce sucks!

Answer 5

You are only thinking of yourself, this is not about you so you need to remove the U from AUnt and have some compassion for her loss, she is sad, lost and confused, you are not her priorty her children are. so stop being immature and act like a person with a little more grit and drop her a card to tell her you are thinking about her and you miss her. Stop acting like a child, and act like a young lady....It is time

Answer 6

Sweetie, noone is trying to hurt you.People get really angry when they are going through a divorce and you should be there for your uncle right now it sounds like you are focusing on you.Please think about who is really hurting here,your uncle,aunt and cousins.Good luck:)

Answer 7

I'm sorry to say it kiddo but you are the one who is being immature.

She is going through an absolutely terrible time right now and you are making this all about you?

Can you even possibly imagine how it would feel to have your life mixed up to the point where you are leaving your husband and having to move out on your own? Can you imagine the turmoil she is going through.

This is about her. Don't try to make it your drama because it isn't. She is not doing this to hurt you.

Get over it.

Answer 8

Your aunt is going through a tough time right now so don't be so hard on her, she is in NO WAY trying to hurt you or be rude to you. You will understand when you are older.

Answer 9

did she leave these things or was she told not to take anything from his side of the family. don't just assume find out first what happened