I am a Christian but i have not been living or showing it in my life over the past year. The largest contributing factor, my boyfriend, who is also not a Christian.
Problem is, now, i love him.. i really really love him and the though of breaking things off with him KILLS me but then on the other hand i know he will not change his beliefs, and also i hate living like this living in sin. But i LOVE him.
Has anyone been in a situation like this and do you have any advice to offer. it is a very heartbreaking situation for me, like i said leaving him is sooo much easier said than done, how can you up and leave someone you truly LOVE?
2007-12-08 13:26:56 · 21 answers · asked by starryeyed 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
it's always comes down to a choice. who do you love more? God or your boyfriend.
God will let you have your boyfriend if you insist (free will)...
but will your boyfriend let you have God?
2007-12-08 13:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by chieko 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
If you know he won't change his beliefs then you either have to leave him or just deal with it. Personally, as a Christian, I don't think God cares that you are "living in sin".
These are some questions you need to ask yourself:
Do you live a good life?
Do you love God?
Other than the lifestyle you are living, have you ever committed a sin against God (killing someone, purposely hurting people just for the fun of it)?
In my opinion, as long as you answered yes to the first two and no to the third, you're fine. Though I don't believe in hell, the devil, or anything else like that, I do believe that if God didn't want us to have different beliefs, He wouldn't have given us free will.
If you were lucky enough to find someone who you are truly in love with who you know feels the same as you, don't be stupid by breaking it off just because you don't have the same beliefs. As long as he isn't an evil person, I say go for it.
edit:
And for all the people who say you have to choose your man or God... Why would it be so impossible to have both??
2007-12-08 21:39:11 · answer #2 · answered by **[Witty_Name]** 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one said being a Christian would be easy. It was foolish of you to start dating a non-believer in the first place, since you know it is sin. You have to choose between him and Jesus. God will give you the strength if you'll trust Him. God really does love you. Eve didn't think so in the Garden of Eden and that is why we have problems in the world today. Don't repeat her mistake. Break it off with this guy and trust God to bring you a better one if need be or be content to be single for a while.
2007-12-08 21:39:19 · answer #3 · answered by fuzz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Consider the parable of the Good Samaritan in this sort of situation. (I know I do.)
The point of the parable is that it's less important what someone calls them self than what they do and who they are. I've known Buddhists, Atheists, Socialists and one guy who claimed to worship flying saucers who were all excellent Christians at heart though they didn't know it.
LOVE is what matters in life, not labels. If he loves people, tries his best not to be a bad person and essentially lives like a Christian, that's more important than what he calls himself.
Some will scream I'm wrong, but what does your heart tell you?
2007-12-09 06:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him. Set him down when he is calm and be honest and say, Honey, I love you so much and I dont want secrets kept between us. I dont want to lie to you but I want to be honest and truthful. Then wait and take a deep breath. Hold his hand and say, Honey I am a Christian and I believe in God. Then tighten your grip and say, But I still love you and will not force you to believe as I do. Then give him time to think.
He might say, You hypocrite stupid brainwashed Christian fool! If he does, ditch him he isn't worth the emotional and verbal abuse..no one is.
Now if he says, Honey I wish you weren't but I respect that, then give him a chance.
If he says, Oh honey! I been wanting to ask about Jesus! Then tell him about Jesus.
But dont keep it hidden cause some day he WILL find out and will be angry if it was kept hidden from him.
Better to get it out now and off your chest.
If I went out with a person and he didnt tell me his beliefs and then said I am an Atheist...I be angry. Not so much for his beliefs but the fact he kept it from me.
Dont be afraid or ashamed to confess Jesus before him...who knows? He might be ripe for picking.
2007-12-08 23:47:19 · answer #5 · answered by kickindevilbutt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your relationship with your boyfriend is more important to you than your relationship with the Lord. You are more willing to and do disobey the Lord than you are willing to walk in the spirit. You say you truly love the boyfriend, well, who do you love more? Jesus or the boyfriend, and what you continue to do will reveal the truth, not what you say. Also ask yourself is your sinful relationship with your boyfriend more important to you than your fellowship with the Lord, is the chastisement and discipline of God, that is sure to come if you continue to sin against God enough to make you turn away from sin? The Lord gives us time to judge ourselves, but if we refuse to repent and acknowledge our sin then your loving Father will bring discipline which will bring much more painful. I do hope you choose to do what is right in the sight of God and as a representative of the Lord Jesus Christ.
2007-12-08 21:48:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK sweetie,
You're 20. When you're 30, like me, you'll find out what you believe in - if anything dogmatic anymore - has little to do with what those trapped in their religious prisons bark at you. You get 2, maybe 3 tops chances with the opposite sex to really connect with someone whom you could share the rest of your life with. If you can live with him day to day, and have really thought about it, then you'll eventually meet in the middle if he's willing to play along too. Don't blow it!
2007-12-08 21:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by Android 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well have you ever played tug of war, or worked along side somene, and they were not pulling as hard as you? Can you imagine rowing a boat two oars and you are pulling on yours as hard as you can but your partners is not rowing or is out of sync with you even though he is rowing just as hard, that i s what is meant by the bible's admonition "do not be unequally yoked. " Your partners and you must have a common vision, common values, working harmoniously together in life journey. A woman is a responder, if you marry this man, how will you react to his leadership if he leads the family in ways that do not honor your God.
2007-12-08 22:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by cyrano2u 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is easy sweet lady, first, get yourself right with Jesus, start going to church and reading your Bible daily. Start praying like you should and being the Christian that you should be, and then what will happen is God will step in for you and take care of your problem. Let him fix it the way he sees fit. If he is your true Love then the Good Lord will fix it and you know it. But you need to start being the Christian that Jesus called You to be. Good luck and God Bless!!!
2007-12-08 21:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by victor 7707 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You put yourself in this situation, now what ya doing to do?
Your conundrum: If you live up to your values, you'll have to break up with him. If you continue to live with him, you will not be living up to your values.
The Christian answer is to place God first. Yes, I know you love him, but it is possible to get over that, and have another more positive faith building relationship.
2007-12-08 21:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you need to get your book out...because according to the Bible....IF your wife is a non believer send her not away but if she leaves call her not back...according to your GOD the covenant in which you are under covers you both if you marry....
also GOD says each person is responsible for his/her own salvation...I would stay with the guy, if he treats you well and doesn't cheat or beat you that is a good thing...and you might not necessarily find that in another "christian"......
2007-12-08 21:37:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋