Christmas is coming up and a relative of mine whom i always give a gift on Christmas is really near the end of her life. we have been told that she may not even make it to Christmas. it wouldn't make sense to really give a gift to someone who is not going to be alive to use it but then to NOT do so seems horrible because she would know that the reason why she would get a card or something is because shes dieing. should i just get something as usual? that's sort of what i feel is best , continue as usual until the end, rather then bury her before shes dead. what do you think? and if you agree that i should buy a gift what sort of thing ought it be?
2007-12-08 12:31:07 · 21 answers · asked by None 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm sorry you're having to deal with something like that. The first thing that came to my mind for her was a plant. It would be something for her to look at and enjoy.
2007-12-08 12:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by Purdey EP 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your family member's illness. Getting her something material would not make sense. However, I would not just not get her something. Most importantly give her your companionship and love. You could buy her a book. If she is too ill to read, you could offer to read it to her each time you visit her. My grandmother was too sick to read. I read to her, and she enjoyed listening to music.. so maybe some cd with peaceful music on it. If she doesn't have a cd player you could get her one. My grandmother also liked having good lotion and perfumes to make her smell good and to make her skin feel good. A flowering plant like a poinsettia or amaryllis is also a nice idea if she is awake enough to enjoy her surroundings. You could get her a blanket or anything that might improve her comfort. Ultimately, your presence is the best gift you can give to her. My thoughts are with you.
*just thought of something else - satin pillow cases
2007-12-09 02:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by xbluelikewaterx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, I think you should continue as usual until the end. I think you should put something together that is all about her. Her favorite cookies or candies, maybe some lotion that smells pretty, some freshen up cloths and a card so you can write something special to her. I know this kind of thing is not easy but try to carry on with her as normal as possible. Take care.
2007-12-08 20:52:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
We were warned that my husbands mother might not make it to Christmas... but they are not infallible - and make mistakes!
I decided I would treat this Christmas the same as all the others... buy her a gift of the potions and lotions that she loved and set her usual place at the dinner table (between her grandson and her great granddaughter).
She died last week.
Say a prayer for Betty - she was lovely and will be missed more than I can say.
2007-12-08 20:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by franja 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think it would be nice to get her a gift. She's not dead yet. Maybe you can get something that she can use right away, like some nice chocolates or something. Perhaps sharing a happy moment like that will bring your family a little bit of comfort. Best wishes to you all.
2007-12-09 02:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in this situation. I would like for someone to donate money to one of my favorite charities in my name. Nothing religious. Or maybe a plant that could live on, so that another person can enjoy it after I pass... We don't need any more material possessions. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Peace!
2007-12-08 22:56:40 · answer #6 · answered by Rex B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like all of the answer that was given to you, so why not combine them all into one big gift. give her a tree planted in her name a flowering one let her see it before planting in a special place of hers. give her also a tape recording, record her life story let her record messages to family and friends, pray with her and give her a prayer book. and yes give her the gift of time!!. make a contribution in her name to a charity, have a star named after her ( the celestrial stars in the sky) there are astromony sites that will allow you to name newly discovered stars. do all of these suggestions, put it in a big box with a bow, wrap it with love and seal it with a kiss. but all of it if you can all at once will bring her joy. start a charitable cause in her name like a 10k run. god bless.
2007-12-08 21:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by dobby 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every answer is inspiring ,,, I'm sorry to hear this too .. and i agree that spending your time will help i think more than you know..... How about a Bible and have everyone sign it inside ... make sure it is buried with her ... This act will help to ease some of the pain and you will all know that her future life is in Gods hands..... May my Prayers be with Her and You and your Family .............
2007-12-08 20:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by Noah's Ark 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get her something she can use in the time she has or something that is special to her regardless of her time. She doesn't want people to treat her differently and she deserves to have everyone try to keep things as normal as possible unless she is unaware of what is happening. You should do nothing that makes her feel like she is already passed.
2007-12-08 20:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A flowering potted plant to help cheer her up.
And like other people said, the gift of your company is important right now.
2007-12-08 21:22:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋