so i asked my boyfriend if we were going to exchange presents for christmas and he said no, he does like to do presents, but said we could do our own thing and then invited me to come over on the 24th to have dinner with his family.
but i was kinda disappoints, hes never got me anything in the 7 months we've been together, so i asked him why and he said he still has some bad experiences regarding his ex girlfriend and gift giving was one of them
we have talked about his ex before, he was really hurt after their breakup but its been 2.5 years now so hes definitely over her but he still has these little issues....is this normal???...hes my first relationship so i have never gone through a break up.
he said that he really cares about me but he feels bad that hes not able to give me his all right now. he hopes that i can be patient with him until he sorts this out. i love him so i am willing to wait but i dont know...
what do you think?
2007-12-08 12:17:51 · 41 answers · asked by confused with love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is also very busy with school (its his last year) and so hes really stressed with that and cant help but feel that thats one of the reasons hes this way?....part of me feels that once he is done school and moves on that he will leave his past behind too...
does that seem realistic?
2007-12-08 12:20:07 · update #1
My girlfriend waited for me, and i love her even more for it. I had so much crazy stuff going on in my life that it was too hard to give my all to someone. Sometimes it still is. I love her with all my heart, but it's hard when I'm away, cuz i miss her so much. Just let him sort things out, and if that doesn't work, try and fix it, if THAT doesn't work, it wasn't meant to be
2007-12-08 12:23:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For someone who this is her first relationship you are quite bright! Yes I think you should move on & find someone without all that baggage. He has no idea what he wants, I mean the old relationship is way OVER and 7 months into a relationship & he cannot buy a gift for you for Christmas. Give me a break & to think he would ask you to wait till he finds his BRAINS, which I might add are probably up his Azz! He'll finish school & move on & you deserve better!! Don't let someone do that to you. Been there done that and breaking up with him was the best thing I EVER did. Good Luck & remember : Listen to what your head is telling you because when you lead with heart (it's not telling you the real truth, only what you wish for).
2007-12-08 12:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Mary 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a lot like how I felt, except I was the one with the baggage, 2 years may be a long time, but if you loved that person you may still miss them, maybe just as a friend, maybe more. I would talk to him honestly, ask how he feels about his ex, if he can't give a satifactory answer get out and count yourself lucky. I know I had to leave because I was hurting my boyfriend more and more, at first I though I was almost over my ex and it was maybe a bit soon but not much and I'd be fine, I was wrong, people make mistakes, not be too hard on him. just don't end up like him. :)
Good luck.
2007-12-08 12:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do i think? ready? well, first of all, he may have been hurt by his fiance but that surely didnt prevent him from moving on w/ you. honestly, he sounds like he's either A.too cheap, or B. doesnt care enough about you to try to impress you w/ any gifts! plain & simple. the truth hurts. you can turn your back on it & pretend you cant see it 4 what it is , or you can act accordingly! can you imagine a few more years no gifts w/ a stingy guy? here is the thing to understand: when a guy wants to keep you, he'll try to make u happy even if it means, buying u gifts.... btw, if u are having sex w/ him, then thats the main reason he wants you to stick around. wouldnt be surprised if getting by w/ you until he finds someone he thinks is more suitable for him! gd lck. i didnt wnt to lie.
2007-12-08 12:26:46 · answer #4 · answered by Johnnie's cash🌴🌙☂✈ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question ....Why are you wasting your time with a person who is obviously still carrying heaps of baggage from another relationship? He most definately NOT over it. What a dumb lame excuse for not treating you to a gift at a traditional gift giving time. He's a wimp, and a drama queen.
Dump him -
Remember this .....
The past is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
Today is a gift - that's why its called the 'present'
You don't need it.
2007-12-08 12:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by Earth Mother 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alot of people do have past relationship issues. just because he doesnt give you a gift, doesnt mean that you cant give him one-you know to kinda break the ice a little. if you really love him like you said then stick it out. sometimes it takes awhile to get over things that are so hurtful. it will come in time.
2007-12-08 12:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you should work this out. Break ups can be hard, but he shouldnt think that the same issues that happened with him and his ex will happen with you 2. He seems like he is trying to move on and get over it, and its great he invited you to dinner, that shows he cares alot and wants it to work out. Just remind him that your not his ex and things with you 2 are different and he needs to realize that.
2007-12-08 12:22:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your having doubts and he's still hung up on his ex, I'd say it's time to call it quits. Or "take some space". Let him take some time to get over her and in the meantime your free to find someone without so many issues. If it's meant to be then eventually it'll happen I guess just not now
2007-12-08 12:23:10 · answer #8 · answered by Time is Running Out 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW you are really in a pickle, it sucks that you have to suffer for what someone else has done. If you are willing to wait, then by all means wait. The decision is your and yours alone. I can tell you by personal experience that waiting for someone to get over someone else can actually make YOU the bitter one. It can also build up a resentment toward that person. Be careful with your decision and think of yourself FIRST!!!!!
Goodluck
2007-12-08 12:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Since this is your first relationship you don't really know if you "love him" or not and it's clear that he doesn't. Usually, you have to ask even when he promises that he's "giving his all" but when he can't, it's clear that he doesn't.
Breaking up isn't so bad. Time gets you over it and even less time when you meet someone else that you like.
2007-12-08 12:22:49 · answer #10 · answered by LucaPacioli1492 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋