I am having my engagement party and would prefer money than gifts. Does anybody have any nice or cute ways?

Question

of saying it we want to include it somewhere in the invitation. I no that there are cute poems and stuff. Any help will be much appreciated, thanks

Most of you have been so bloody rude. Now just to clarify the reason we are having and engagement party is because we are not getting married in a year so we want to have acelebration for it sooner. We don't expect anything but if people do want to give us something we would prefer money because we have all of our house stuff. For the person who said it is considered rude in most social groups to have and engagement party where the hell have you been living?? Everyone i talk to has been to or had an engagment party and loved it

Answer 1

I agree, most of the answerers have been very rude to you. They don't understand that not everyone wants more "stuff". Of course, there will be some people that will probably give you an actual gift (great aunt mildred, grandma, maybe your best friend...) but these people are going to actually know what you want or will be giving you something sentimental. You do not need to have a registry. Just don't have one. Anyone who wants to get you a gift will ask your parents what to get you....and your parents can say "Well, they really don't need anymore "stuff"...their house is really small and they're still paying off school (or whatever reasons you have), so the only gift you need to bring is the gift of being there!" Some people will take this at face value, which is fine, but most will end up writing you a cheque. There is nothing wrong with this. A cheque is no less impersonal than clicking on a registry item. People will not be offended.

Another idea is for you to have a "honeymoon fund". Tell people that the two of you have been dreaming of having your honeymoon at a certain destination, and if they'd like to give you a gift, a contribution to your trip would be amazing. You can even set up your own joke registry website: Tranquil sunset -$50, Suntanning on the beach - $25, Pina coladas by the pool - $15....you get the idea.

No one HAS to get you a gift, but most people do anyway. You are not being rude.

Answer 2

First, congrats on the engagement!

Second, there are no cute ways, or nice ways to ask for money. Do not put it on the invitation, it is tacky. But rather you can let your parents/wedding party in on that you would prefer money rather than gifts Let them through word-of-mouth, spread the word. And if people choose to give, then they know.

Also, nowadays everyone has an engagement party. It's not mandatory, but rather just a fun way to celebrate, so I think anyone who says otherwise is off.

Answer 3

Word of mouth is best. But I do agree with you that some people can be very rude about this subject. I asked a similar question myself and all I got was stuff like "another bride more worried about gifts.....concentrate on your marriage" which I thought was very rude. These days lots of engaged couples are already living together and have all the blenders, toasters, crystal candy dishes (who needs that crap?) and mixers they need. So what is the big problem with wanting money IF SOMEONE WANTS TO GIFT IT TO YOU. I don't think there's a problem with it going through "the grapevine" because so many of you seem to be offended with it even being thought of. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT FOR YOUR SITUATION AND WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!! All the power to you!!!!

Answer 4

In most social circles an engagement party is considered rude and tacky in the first place. You are having a party to celebrate that in a year you will all get back together and have another party. IF people even bring a gift you should be thankful. Money is not customary for an engagement present and shouldn't be expected. They will already have to buy a shower gift and wedding gift later, why should they need to buy another?!

Answer 5

Congrats on your engagement! I don't think there is any polite way to ask for money instead of gifts. You could just sell them on ebay afterwards! I think I would be put off if an invitation asked for money and not gifts, I would probably not want to give the couple anything.

Answer 6

never never mention gifts of any sort, in any shape or form in the invitation. It is considered tacky, rude and makes it look like you are grubbing for loot. (it is considered bad manners to expect that you will be receiving a gift--so even mentions "no gifts please" or "your presence is our present" is still considered rude)

The best way to get your message across is to inform your bridal party and your parents so that when people start calling to ask where you are registered, then they can be told you prefer monetary gifts. But there will still be some people who will still give you actual gifts rather than money.

Answer 7

The best and only way is word of mouth. You cannot put on an invitation that you want money instead of gifts but if you tell a few people to spread the word, they will be able to do so tactfully. It's hard to ask for what you need but that is the only way the experts say you can do it; I have been reading my wedding mags myself. Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm sorry, but there is no nice way to say you want people to give you money. I know that people do that, but it's still very tacky. Presents are what people want to give you. If someone asks then by all means tell them that you are saving for ??? and could use some help.

Answer 9

Sorry, there is no cute or classy way to shake down guests. Gifts are just that, gifts...and you're supposed to NOT expect them and be surprised and grateful for your guests' generosity when you receive them. I'd suggest an investment in a good manners book before you go much further in your wedding plans.

Good luck in your new life.

Answer 10

say its a wishing well . be careful ,bc some ppl dont believe in money as a gift so they still go out and buy a gift .
Congratulations!