I am the maid of honor for my friend. I offered to host a bridal shower, but the bride chose to have the party at one of the bridesmaid's houses. The bridesmaid told me "I win! Ha Ha!" She also said, "My husband and I would be honored to host the party."
Since her house is too small, she will be renting a tent and heaters, and also renting game tables. At my house, we wouldn't need a tent and I have a pool table, so we wouldn't have to rent games either.
Do I have to contribute to the cost of this party even if the bridesmaid is hosting? Doesn't the host of a party pay for the party? (All the bridesmaids could have hosted a shower at her house, but she has said she's hosting).
And should I really have to pay these extra rental costs when I wouldn't have had to pay them at my house?
If the shower was at my house, I wouldn't have expected anyone else to pay, but I don't want to pay for a party that I don't get to plan and don't even get the credit as host.
2007-12-08 11:28:02 · 26 answers · asked by Carrie O'Labrador 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I will admit that I do sort of resent the bridesmaid. I resent her saying "I won! HaHA!" when I thought it wasn't a competition. It's supposed to be about the bride, not about us, right? I also resent having to pay money for rentals that would be unnecessary if it had been at my house. I also would resent paying money for a party that she is going to host because it will look like she paid for it.
2007-12-08 11:42:54 · update #1
Carrie, Is the the same girl you asked about way back? You had a really nice shower planned and ready to go. If the this "girl" is taking over and the bride is actually so mannerless to let her, then she should foot the bill.
Buy a gift and let the "winner" foot the bill for the entire thing. She earned it!
Buy the bride a nice gift and don't worry a bit.
I can't believe she actually said that to you. What a wench.
PS. The bride has no manners either. When someone offers to have a shower for you in their home, you say thank you very much and you let them (I'm referring to the bride). If the bride wants to have another shower, then she can talk to other people about having them. This bride is a bridezilla. And that other brides maid is a witch. Who has competitions over this stuff?
I'm really sorry this is happening to you Carrie, you don't deserve it. =)
These girls need to read a book on Manners.
2007-12-08 12:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's an informal (read inexpensive) shower, then the host should pick up the cost. They can also discuss with the other bridesmaid sharing costs for a more costly shower.
I would also be annoyed if I was having to pay to rent a venue rather that using my own home if that would work, focus on the cleaning you won't have to do before and after the event.
I don't do weddings anymore, makes life so much simpler...I figure I've bought maybe 40 or 50 wedding gifts in my life, and as I've never married it has never been reciprocated. Done with that...
2007-12-08 11:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The host usually pays unless the entire bridal party(bridesmaid and matron of honor) is throwing the shower together. Although the latter rarely happens.
2007-12-08 11:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically yes. If you are having a larger crowd, you may want to recruit a co-host to help. Or, if you have a tight budget, maybe consider having guests bring things. Like request everyone bring a gift under $5 for game prizes. Or make it a pot luck, where everyone brings a dish. Your friend doesn't want you to bust the bank or stress out over her shower - so be creative!
2016-05-22 05:39:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should speak to the bride and casually mention that you had a budget worked out and that now you do not need to use it you can use it to buy the shoes, bag, present etc that you wanted for the wedding. Then see what is said as it will not be very nice for people to be falling out before a wedding. Tradition says its AT the wedding that people normally row.
2007-12-08 11:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person having the party pays for it. She might ask the other members of the wedding party to pitch in, but you are under no obligation, especially since you offered to have it first, and have the room at your home. Forgive me, but the bride sounds a little selfish.
2007-12-08 11:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Nancy S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it was me I would not it may not feel right but you have many points you wouldnt have to rent anything at your house, she acted like it was a competition saying I win, ha ha ha So I would not. That doesnt even make any sense for her to do it when she dont have games or the space. Has she asked you to pitch in? If not I wouldnt because when she volunteered to take it over she took it all over, paying for everything, entertainment & all.
2007-12-08 11:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by mom4dafirst time Oct 7thGirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The host has to pay. Since you are no longer the host (seeing that she took it from you) it is her responsibility to pay for all of the expenses. All you have to do is show up with your gift. I hate people like that by the way, who ever said it was a competition right. Anyway, sorry you got to deal with that. But you shouldn't pay, so DON'T!!
-AB
2007-12-08 11:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by AB 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO! You shouldn't be expected to pay for anything, although it could be a nice gesture for the rest of the bridesmaids to chip in a set amount if she can't afford everything.
If you're not involved in the planning and it's not at your house, you shouldn't be expected to pay for everything just because you're the MOH.
2007-12-08 11:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you have no say on how this gets planned and no say on things like how to decorate and you cannot be considered a cohost, I don't believe you have to pay. I had 3 bridal showers thrown for me by different groups of people in my lives and one was thrown for me by my now-husband's aunts even though it was at the house of one of the aunts. I know for a fact that they all pitched in but they also had all their names on the invitation as who was throwing the shower for me. My maid of honor also threw a party for me but she tried to make it feel like a shower from all my bridesmaids so we went out and had our nails done, etc. and everyone chipped in equally (that was a smaller get together though). In your situation, if you get no credit for it, I don't believe you should have to pay but maybe you can get her a special present like a spa day so she can enjoy herself but she'll know its something special from you.
2007-12-08 11:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋