right now i want to die?

Question

i hate myself and i hate my life...i don't know how i'm going to face another day but i know deep down i don't really want to end it....how do other people cope with feeling lke this constantly? who do you talk to? i talk to one person but he's in a worse frame of mind than me so i find i help him then have no energy left to help myself (which i don't resent in the slightest cos he's worth a thousand of me) I take anti-depressants and have done for years and i'm on a waiting list for CBT but what do i do in the meantime, i want to talk to someone but feel uncomfortable on the phone?

i'm 26 and i'm sorry to those that think i'm seeking attention...i'm really not, i just am t the end of the line and really don't know what else to do. i've tred councelling and meds...what else is there?

Answer 1

FIRST STOP THINKING YOU WANT TO DIE
THINK YOU WANT TO LIVE DIFFERENT
I hate to admit this myself but I suffer from BiPolar disorder and also battle the med, and mood swing lifestyle
I wish i could tell you everything is going to be just peachy but we have been dealt a much harder card to hold than many. The stigma attached to mental health problems is crazy.. We are considered like the plague..they keep pumping us with medicines they are not sure of the outcomes.

May i ask do you have a Doctor you can trust?
I finally found one and it made a huge difference
Please contact me if you wish to discuss further
God is REAL and hears your prayers so keep praying and this too will pass
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
I never give out personal information but I feel your pain
Please take the hard road

Answer 2

Whoa you have tried counseling and meds and know you still don't feel better. There are some simple rules for the human brain that we must accept. The brain doesn't like to believe that some concept is true only to have to erase the truth factor later. Your brain will hurt you with the chemicals it can make . These depressive chemicals get into the fluid and go to your primitive brain and cause havoc. The medulla is the auto brain controlling many body functions. Heart, lungs emotions and many more functions are then forced to be abnormal until the chemicals are gone. The meds can help for a short time but after ten years you lose brain power and will never figure out life. The medical people are there to protect society and you from harm not to teach you the secrets of life. They know the mysteries of life but need to be professional as they treat you. Search my on line notes for each idea that comes to you. Email me with specific concerns. You will help another person only if you can be free again.

Answer 3

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, however I'm 16.
I've been through a lot, really have. And I find it hard to cope with life, but there are days were you have to.

If deep down, you don't want to take your own life. Then there could be something or someone that's making you want to stay.
Is it the person you talk to?
Is there some you care about?
Something you enjoy doing?
Or your pet animal?

I lost my best, close friend to suicide in April. She was only 16 too, and when you think about it...its such a waste of life (when I say that, I mean she left the world way to soon, she didn't even live her life) and the people that loved/cared about her are the ones left suffering for her loss.
Its too much to deal with.
=(

I see no point in doing it. However there are days, where I just want to disappear from the world.
I just need to find something to occupy myself.
Whether it be;
- Sleeping
- Reading
- Going for a walk
- Sewing
- Drawing/sketching
- Having a shower/bath
- Patting/stroking my dog
- Watching my fish swim around

If you want to chat, feel free to email me. (Click my picture, which will lead to my profile where it'll say 'Email -').

I really wish you the best with your life. I hope you get through all the rough patches and that you'll be okay.

Answer 4

Keep telling yourself that you are stronger than this and that you are worth the effort. And whatever reason that you are so unhappy, it's not important enough to let it get the best of you. When I was at the end of my rope, I saw a posting for a support group at school. Turns out the group had stopped meeting, but I met with a nurse and she put me in touch with some people that could help. And they did. Sometimes talking to strangers is easier, especially if those people have been through something similar. Remember everyone has hard times, even if they don't let it show. This is too will pass.

Answer 5

Alrighty first advice; get out of the anti depressants. Drugs aren't going to solve anything, and from the sound of it, it doesn't exactly seem to cure you. Second; if you feel uncomfortable talking over the phone it is obvious that you should talk in person. Third; start having more self esteem, you are unique, why would you want to kill the only you, you have?Fourth; What makes you think you can't stop it by yourself, most likely when seeking for help, you are making yourself think that it's beyond your control, it ISN'T, you can change anytime you want at anytime of the day. You can't control the world, you can't control other people, but what you CAN change is yourself.

Answer 6

Depression is a touchy subject but i think the truth wich may be the absolute cheesiest thing you have ever heard, is do what you love. Find a passion, you like to paint, PAINT! Like to play a sport, go PLAY IT!! Like cooking, COOK! Surroud yourself with people you love and make you feel good, even if it pains you to let go of the bad influences in your life. Theres a peice in your question that i think is interesting: "he's in a worse frame of mind than me so i find i help him then have no energy left to help myself (which i don't resent in the slightest cos he's worth a thousand of me) " <--- this tells me that you are more interested in helping others, it proabably makes you feel good to help people. And that you put others before you, but you also need to help yourself first. Its not being selfish its being trustworthy. You wouldnt ask a nerd to help you get popular? You just need to re-evaluate your situation. And live life the way you wish, as well as do things you love.

Answer 7

you have to take it one day at a time. you are down right now. you have to just get yourself some ice cream soft music or a good movie. lock the door. don't let the outside world come in your house for the night and just relax. make your little world be a good one. even for one night of this and you will feel better in the morning. all those drugs could be what is getting you down. i was on them too. i finally decided that i needed to try again without them. i tapered them down slowly until i was not needing them any more. i do take a nerve pill that helps me calm down as soon as it gets inside me. i don't take it every time. only when i feel the shakes starting when things go bad. at your age there are so many worries that we don't know about. try my idea and see how you feel the next day.

Answer 8

It's okay to feel this way. Many people do at this time of year. Just do not act on these feelings. This feeling might mean You're just exhausted, and You might not feel this way tomorrow. Even if You do, this depression will not last through the spring. I know how hard it is to believe that right now. I feel this way in the summer, and i always welcome that empty, exhausted feeling because it immobilizes me and keeps me out of trouble. Just try not to be AFRAID. And remember H.A.L.T. Don't allow Yourself to be too --

Hungry
Angry
Lonely, or
Tired

Get some daylight when You can! I promise it will help!

Blessings.

Answer 9

Think LIFE, LIFE, LIFE...... when I feel sad, I will not let it go on. It may be during the night when I wake up with such sadness, I start to move my arms, I exercise, then my legs, and most importantly my neck and head from side to side up and down, and I go on with the rest of my body until this sadness has vanished . I then start my deep breathing, for 15 minutes, if I last that long, or I may fall asleep again, being tired. Think well of yourself you are a child of God, who has sent His Son, to save us and redeem us from sin. Try Prayer, Meditation, and counting your blessings. Get to know the Lord

Answer 10

i was going through something like that awhille ago. its great that you are helping soemone else out and maybe you could start taking your own advice ... alot of the times it does seem like you can't take anymore of what life is dishing out to you but in reality you are never givin more then you can handle an it does take a little while to realise that, you'll be able to pull through and when its over you can take it under your belt as an experience and learn how to handle it better.. at points where you have noone to talk to it might be the worse but you can always take time off with yourself.. sounds pretty ridiculous but the other night i felt like that and had noone to talk to nowhere to go so i put on a jacket an walked around for hours with my headphones on just sobbing relly loud... i must of looked like an idiot but i was able to laugh about it later ... i dont kno what your going through but you will be able to find the strength to get out of it eventually