im 21 my boyfriend is 19 on monday he said hes going to try to have sex with me again for the second time because the first time it hurt really bad and he wants me to take the pain in he said hes not going to stop onece it starts hurting because he wants me to get use to the pain and hes going to hold me down and he has to get alittle aggressive he loves me though how do i not think of the pain?
2007-12-08 10:42:53 · 23 answers · asked by snookie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If trying to have sex is that painful something is wrong...He Absolutely should NOT hold you down and force you he could tear you and do serious damage, there is a possibility you may have to see a Gyn Doc and be stretched profesionally under local anesthetic,
Also, if you are a bit afraid, you will tighten up, this means YOU ARE NOT READY, when you are ready you will relax and be extremely well lubed and insertion should be easy, a tiny hurt but that is ALL.
PAIN is there for a reason, it is telling you something IS NOT RIGHT>>>>>>>
Don't let him do this, if he loves you he won't wan't to hurt you, he sounds like he thinks you are a wimp and he will just fix that, that is not what is happening.......
if he is aggressive now he may be abusive later, see your Doc and be sure it is nothing physical and then make him make you so horny he won't have to push you will be pulling.....
2007-12-08 11:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by Judy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neda, this sounds like your boy friend is saying he will rape you if you decide to stop at anytime after getting sexual with him.
Sex shouldn't hurt. he is obviously not taking enough time to make sure it is good for you too, and that crap about him having to get aggressive with you is bull S**T.
just because he is ready to have sex doesn't mean you are. If you are even thinking about letting this happen you are not ready.
Unless you want to be in pain and that is what turns you on, you need to dump that guy. Your boy friend is being a selfish sick in the head jerk.
That is not love.
2007-12-08 18:53:02 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump this guy, right now.
Sex should not hurt. If it was your very first time, then maybe. But his attitude is scary. He's basically telling you he doesn't care if it hurts you, he's going to get what he wants. Instead of saying you need to "get used to it" he should be trying to find the right way so you don't have any pain. You can do much better than this.
Good luck to you, and good riddance to him.
2007-12-08 18:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uh, it sounds like he's planning on raping you.
Yes it hurts and yes it takes some time to get used to it, but it takes a non-specific amount of time and a generous amount of tenderness on the part of the dude.
It sounds like you need more time and a lot more tenderness than he is capable of.
You control whether or not you have sex or not. You are not there simply for his pleasure. The dude may "love" you, but he certainly doesn't respect you.
Don't let him rape you. Don't let him convince you it's not rape. Forcing someone to have sex against their will is rape. If you are uncomfortable and don't want to do it, you can and should say no.
2007-12-08 18:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by Nathan D 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're going to let him hold you down and get aggressive? Tell you what. Unless you enjoy it like this, it will be MORE painful for you, I'd think. Use lots of lube. Tell him be gentle. Don't think about pain, just that you'll enjoy it. Relax. Believe me, it is supposed to feel good.
2007-12-08 18:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get involved with someone who RESPECTs you.
That's NOT what LOVE is.
Why are allowing boys who don't give a **** about you, abuse your precious body. Once you give your virginity to some asshole, you CAN"T get it back. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.
You tell HIM to go pay a prostitute if he's in such a hurry to get his rocks off. And I'm telling you honey, that's all it is for him.
2007-12-08 18:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by All That Glitters isn't Gold 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres no way to get over the pain it will hurt but just tell him to take it easy at first and then increasing get harder but after awhile it should go away and then when you have sex again you will have less and less it gets better
2007-12-08 18:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have a medical problem that is not allowing you to have sex without pain. Or, maybe you need some extra lubrication.
2007-12-08 18:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like rape if you dont want it to happen. dont let it happen if you think its going to hurt.. but usually it doesnt hurt after your first time so you might want to see a doctor.
2007-12-08 18:47:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure your 21 cause it reads like your 12
2007-12-08 18:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by bigdaddy9965 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋