I have 3 boys age 10, 12 and a baby boy thats 11 weeks. With my hubby, thats 4 boys and me. They are always on the video games and computers (one of the kids use mine) and Im always feeling left out. As soon as my husband walks in the door everyday (Im a stay at home mom), he goes straight for the computer, etc and hes on it until all hours of the night. I think its great that hes bonding with the 2 older boys, but Im doing everything at night and on the weekends. While theyre doing their fun things, Im still doing the chores, taking care of the baby and everything else. I do this all day and I dont get a break. I feel ignored, invisible and like a robot maid. Ive voiced this to him and he knows how I feel, but nothing has changed. We have a great relationship and this is the only thing that bothers me. I know if I asked him to do something specific he would but Im torn because i feel like id be taking him away from doing something he loves to do. Am I being selfish?
2007-12-08 07:23:30 · 10 answers · asked by tulips♥77 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
anyone else have all boys? what do you do to keep from losing "you"?
2007-12-08 07:24:13 · update #1
Men are retarded. They don't pick up on hints or subltety. You have to be direct and specific in what you want. Here are a few suggestions.
1. When husband walks in, you walk out and have yourself a good time and leave him to feed the kids, do the cleaning and the laundry.
2. Change the passwords on the computers to one that only you know and before the "boys" get to use them they must agree to at least 1 hour of family time first.
3. Take the kids to the babysitter and when husband comes home tell him that YOU need his attention tonight. I'm sure it will help if you're wearing lingerie!
2007-12-08 09:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by Coop's Wife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay at home Mom doesn't mean stay at home slave does it? The 10 year old and 12 year old are big enough to be helping out. Try calling a family meeting and see if that gets you anywhere. Make sure your requests are specific. Asking for more help is too vague. Perhaps you and hubby need a night out alone. It may take him a while to warm up to the baby, that is a big age spread 10 years. Let him help more with the baby. Don't criticize if he doesn't do things the way you do I found that I got a lot more help that way.
Good luck!
2007-12-08 07:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Daisy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with asking for some help. A stay at home mom can be a hard job too, and all the responsibilities should not fall upon your shoulders. I guess anytime you need help just ask him, and maybe ask him to do one specific thing everynight..almost like a chore.
2007-12-08 07:33:49 · answer #3 · answered by Kelsey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you have your husband take the boys out on a fartherly son thing. while you can relax for a while and a breather. Also, try hogging the computer when your husband is home. That way he might find something to do in his spear time while your on.
2007-12-08 07:37:54 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he kiss you. Did he %. up a sign that made him think of you have been involved. And to call him a jerk and forget approximately him and cope with him terrible because of the fact he improve right into a foul kisser and you probably did no longer choose him to kiss you. supply me a injury. sooner or later karma will chew you interior the ***. And sure you're incorrect, way incorrect.
2016-10-01 04:24:17 · answer #5 · answered by doble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi....there....this is like 'you wanted to hurt yourself or you are allowing your family members to get spoiled., that what you are doing to your husband...,after a long hours of work...I hate to sit in front of the computers...,even if I wanted to send urgent e-mails...my wife wont allow me to switch the computer...in that way ( somebody should be strict and should give instruction...like when every body should spend time together and each and every body should get their share of house hold work and they must fulfill their duty..,it is a must...other wise you are the only one going to suffer more physically and mentally., and please make sure to have a time table for to spend time with the computer as well....and before giving instructions and time table...please sit with every body (together) and discuss your problems and what each member of your family could do to improve the situations and make sure, they should take it seriously...if they are not listening or not following the time table....just ignore them totally including to your husband..,and do whatever you want personally....once you loose the hold then everybody will take it as granted...so be careful.
2007-12-08 22:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by 2bros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of things you want him to do on a regular basis. Show it to him and tell him he has 24 hours to react or it will be the law of your family. Then he can negotiate. But of course you must be able to let things rest AND let him do it his own way.
2007-12-08 07:32:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No nothing wrong
u should tell him
A relationship is also abt saying things,being transparent, u dont have to think to tell to some ppl
2007-12-08 07:32:04 · answer #8 · answered by k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with asking him to do specific things? He can't read your mind. If you don't tell him what things you want him to do, he won't know you want him to do them.
2007-12-08 07:26:59 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you need a spa gift for your birthday or for all hard work
2007-12-08 07:28:28 · answer #10 · answered by traveling lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋