how many inches would you buy?

Question

Man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.' 'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything seems to be OK, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently to you, but your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'
Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on, 'You've got £9,000 compensation coming to you and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand pounds an inch.'
The bloke perks up at this.
'So the thing is' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine incher she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'
So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.
'So' says the doctor 'Have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have.' says the fellow.
'And has she helped you in making the decision?'
'She has' says the bloke.
'And what is it?' asks the doctor...





'We're having a new kitchen

Answer 1

LOL. Good good.
I always enjoy your jokes.

best wishes
sincerely, me

Answer 2

L O L 10/10 x

Answer 3

HA! Funny. I luv hearin new jokes.

If u like jokes so much, try this one on for size!:

There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."

One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.

"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.

"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."

! ! ! LoL ! ! !

(ps, thanx 4 the laugh!)

Answer 4

As an ex-TV & video engineer I would never touch low-end units e.g. Samsung etc. However, we went for a new TV over a year ago & for the budget we had, the Samsung plasma was hard to beat with a picture that was better than those on the Sony's, Panasonics & Philips. Even the sound is quite impressive with the set positioned nicely in the corner of the room. It is obviously down to personal preference at the end of the day, go to a large retailer & audition several sets. I prefer plasma over LCD as they can seem blurry (due to slow response time on some sets) & have poorer contrast. Good luck in your search!

Answer 5

Funny

Answer 6

Give me 6"
Spend the rest on plastic Sergeory to change my apperance so the wife won't recognise me .
And find a fitter sexy woman to spend my time with

Answer 7

hahahaha funny 10/10

Answer 8

£1,000 per inch IS awfully heavy!

Answer 9

typical woman lmfao

Answer 10

Ah, they have been married a while then!