I am 23 and my fiance is 28. We have had the most beautiful relationship and I can not explain how good he is to me. He has a daughter from a previous 7 year relationship that ended. He loves her very much and she is so sweet to me too. Her mother has moved on and has a boyfriend and I have accepted this situation for my future.
But, Yesterday.. he says that he needs to tell me something and it's hard for him to keep it away from me. He told me that 1 1/2 years ago there was this woman and he just turned single from his relationship and they had a short good time together. (I hadn't met him yet.)He said it was less than 10 times and he always wore a condom. He also found out that she was with another man when she went to NY and Miami.After a year she calls him and tells him she has had his baby and he couldn't believe that call. Now she lives in another country and keeps calling asking him to go and get a DNA test with her. He showed me pictures and they don't look much alike.
Advice?
2007-12-08 03:12:45 · 9 answers · asked by HotJewels 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He needs to go get the DNA test and find out if the baby is his. If he really wore a condom each time than it's not his, right? What is he afraid of?
If he is the father, then you really need to think about marrying this guy. Child support going to 2 different mothers for 2 different kids??? Most of his paycheck will be sent off to support 2 other women who aren't you. Are you willing to live like that? It's always going to be in the back of you mind, whenever you want to buy something that is just out of reach, "We could afford it if we weren't paying $XXX in child support." Something to think about.
2007-12-08 03:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jacqueline D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said he had the relationship 1 1/2 yrs ago and he found out after a year. That means he recently found out himself. He probably needed a little time to adapt to this himself. As far as the pictures of her that means nothing....Get the DNA-the sooner the better. The other lady would not be requesting the test if she was not somewhat sure. If the child is his then the child needs to know him. If its not nothing to worry about. You must also decide if you are willing to be a step parent to both children. If not, you need to explain this and move on now. If so, support and love him anyway. I personally would not trade my step for anything-they are like my own but at the same time be prepared because with the good also comes the bad as in any situation.
2007-12-08 03:26:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the bigger question is why would you even think of getting married at 23 to someone you have know for less than 1 1/2 years?
I know its exciting to get engaged and married but you have your entire life ahead of you. What is the rush!?!?!
You just got the first taste of what it's like to get married to someone you don't know very well. Well, you do know that he has no problems making babies with people he isn't married to and leaving his daughter with her mom instead of trying to work out the relationship. What a catch...
2007-12-08 03:20:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would hesitate to believe the woman who lives in another country now. Why did she wait all this time to come forward?
Chances are she's not sure who the father is, she's alone now and she's after child support. Who knows how many men she's been with since your fiance saw her last? It's entirely up to your fiance but I would ignore her.
Don't be hard on your fiance. We all make mistakes and this happened before he knew you. : )
2007-12-08 03:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by WilmaF 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think the other woman is lying just because the other guy probabley refused. i would tell him 2 get a dna test, just 2 prove her wrong. besides, maybe there r other guys involved, but she's just not saying anything.
hang in there. =)
2007-12-08 03:19:15 · answer #5 · answered by NASCAR CHICK: Go #99!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can think of, get a lawyer. She could sue him for child support, if she can show it`s his. What`s with all these guys who can`t keep it in their pants?
2007-12-08 03:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by jms043 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
huh. I wouldnt trust hm if I were you and wouldnt be calling him my fiance. He didnt seem to be too honest with you.
2007-12-08 03:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the dna test and it will all be over.... It will either be his or not?????
2007-12-08 03:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb
2007-12-08 03:15:41 · answer #9 · answered by CherylLynn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋