Can we agree that there are ways to phrase religious questions that do not invite responses that are negative?

Question

in tone? I often see "questions" and answers that imply that all atheists (or believers for that matter) are insulting and don't really answer questions. When I look at the responses that inspire these complaints I see that the people criticized have been baited and that serious responses are almost impossible. Is it possible to ask serious questions that inspire dialog without implying that the person you disagree with is an idiot, heathen, sinner, etc etc? In my opinion this would be more constructive.

Answer 1

Yes, if we want to be well-mannered and seek well-mannered responses, we can do so. Some people may need to learn a little from the more experienced, but we CAN communicate effectively without getting rude. Not only that, but we will all be better off if we do.

I don't care how stupid you feel someone is, it does nobody any good for you to say so. Makes you look stupid, actually, that you couldn't find a better way to disagree. And even if you believe someone really is destined for the lake of fire, please acknowledge that the validity of that opinion is debatable. I mean, we can and probably should debate it.

Whenever you go overboard stating your case, or ridiculing the opposing viewpoint, you do your own case harm. Ask any attorney: you lose face (and in court, can even be fined) if you resort to emotional responses. A simple "I disagree because . . . " is much more effective.

Answer 2

For some, baiting is half the fun. They enjoy getting a rise out of whoever they're insulting, parodying, or slamming. More power to 'em; if this is the only entertainment they have, then far be it from me to take that away from them.

It's not difficult to discern the questions that are really inviting dialogue, however lively that dialogue becomes, and as a result of participating in these I've even been privileged to make friends among many who do not share my beliefs.

Sure, there are ways to phrase things so that they aren't so inflammatory. But much depends on the purpose of the person asking the question.

Answer 3

Yes. There are a lot of adversarial questions posed in this forum - more than in the others. Some people are obviously itching for a fight. And people who say "don't get offended, but" are just posing - they know very well that their tone and probably the entire question are basically inappropriate. It is one of the things trolls do, and we have a lot of them in here. Of course there are also a lot of "newbies" to YA who stumble through the door in R&S all dewy and glowing with religious zeal and they tend to ask the same obnoxious things as they come through the door. It would be nice if you had to pass a basic respect and wisdom test before being admitted, but then how would the rabid responders let off their steam? Some restraint from them would be nice, but when we are tired, I think we all get a little ready to tear someone's head off if we are lacking the mixers for the drinking game.

Answer 4

Honestly, I get so tired of every time someone asks "why do Christians do x?" or "why do atheists do y?" half the answerers get their panties in a knot and say "I DON'T DO THAT STOP GENERALIZING!!" Okay - so can't we just assume, then, that the question is directed at those who DO do whatever?

But yes, there are ways... and the add details feature is good for this, too. Yo can always go back and say "oops - I didn't mean to imply blah blah blah. Sorry."

Answer 5

It is possible and it does happen. You and many other atheists, several Protestants (including some fundamentalists) and people of various other faiths have all had reasonable dialog with me. In fact you did last winter. I have found it easier to not let myself be baited when i am not around this joint much. I have also noticed the prolonged exposure to differing viewpoints can lead some folks to learn how to behave politely and also unfortunately leads other folks to dig in deeper and act worse. It is good to remember that all of us are individuals and every ideology has bad and/or stupid people claiming to follow it. I wish many Christians would stop using that term for themselves just like many of us wish we could choose our relatives.

Answer 6

I agree with you completely. What's worse than that is when the question draws offensive responses and the questioner writes another question pretending that they didn't deserve that response. It seems like a ploy sometimes to just get that kind of response. For instance, one person asked why people got so offended but her question which was something like "Are all atheists materialistic or ...?" and she wondered my people got so upset over being label materialistic.

Answer 7

Yes, absolutely. I'll go one further and say that we should state or at least infer that we are giving our ideas, our beliefs, our opinions. I try to insert "I believe," or "I think," into everyting, or at least speak softly enough that I don't sound like I'm instructing the class.

There are too many people at this forum who are convinced they're right about everything.

Answer 8

I'll second that.
I'm so bored of "X: Aren't we awesome?" or "X, aren't Y a bunch of crackpot psychos?".
There are much better ways of debating issues than trying to make the "other side" look stupid.

Thank you for making this point.

Answer 9

star that, the use of universal statements is one of the worst ways to pose a question,when i see "all christians think ...." i'm already p.o.ed before i begin to answer.

Answer 10

Indeed you can. You will still get hateful remarks, but they will have been uninvited and almost out of context. Be nice, peeps.