still thinking about the ex?

Question

she broke it off 4 months ago cos of her personal issues, and it wasnt an easy break up, she made a mess of it and really hurt me in the process.

we were friends first and it was only a short relationship, but while we were going out it was perfect, she even called me the best thing to ever happen to her!. now i cant get over her, i still care about her and think about her everyday.

then again 2 months ago she called me, we met up had a romantic evening and ended up spending the night together, since then...nothing.

i want to talk to her but i cant cos of the way things happened and because its been so long. i dont see her around much anymore and it feels awkward when we do see each other.

i know nothing is going to happen cos she is still dealing with her personal issues and i cant see it coming to an end any time soon.

i know i should just move on, meet new women and get on with life, ive tried, but im just drawn back to her.

what should i do?

Answer 1

MOVE ON! Count your blessings that you did not get married and have children and then have her leave you. Then
you would never forget it. She is doing you a HUGE favor.

Accept it and be delighted.

Answer 2

Sorry you are still trying to get over the hurt.

Yes you need to move on and this will take time to get over a relationship you once had. But it can happen. Everything good takes time.

If you can understand that your ex really is more interested in her so called personal issues more than she is with you, and focus on that. You can see that going any further with this one sided relationship would not work out if you got married. She is using either excuses or is a self centered individual that when things don't go her way she drops relationships and runs. She is a runner and you need someone who is stable and considerate in a relationship.

Answer 3

you won't be the last this happens to or the first.. I've been on both sides of it.. so it's tricky which ever party you are.

happened to me, but person I saw was for for over a years,10 months of that a relationship.. grew into more from a friendship.. and she made a right pigs ear of the break up..

3 years later she contacted me, as she heard something not so nice was going on. As long as you were decent enough to her that's all you need concern yourself about and someone else will be lucky enough to see that, and maybe later she'll realise she made a big mistake.


You do need to get on with your life, is the bottom line. I dated afterwards but she for me was the one I would have married.

It's tough, just distance yourself from it and keep yourself busy with YOUR life..

Main thing is as long as you do right by the other person that's the only thing that counts to be honest..

Answer 4

Been there, done that. It isn't easy, men or women. Keep telling myself to snap out of it. It is not worth my time. Life is short. Within three weeks, I found something new to focus on and forgot about him right away. Now I am a better person and hope he is also. It is better this way, no longer need to hang around each other, sometimes happy, most of the time unhappy. We do not contact each other anymore. The gifts he gave me meants noting and I have no feelings for them anymore. I still keep them but no hard feelings. Phew!

Answer 5

Look you can be in love with her all you want but if she does not recipocate you have to let it go. We all have personal issues and that does not keep us away from the once we love. I am not saying it is going to be easy, it is never easy to let go of someone you love. But love that is not recipocated is not true love-real love, and that is what I think you realy want. When people get married things get trickier and when this is going on now, a marriage would be awefull. Many men will tell you Run, run far away, and they are right. Consider this a gift, and a lesson. No messy divorce, no kids to hurt; the scars are only in your heart and they will heal. Don't search for love, true love comes to you and finds you when you least expect it. Believe me all I am saying is from experience.

Answer 6

Actually, I think this is pretty simple, especially when you are looking back.

Good relationships are just that, you know it is good and there is just no bad feelings. It is a situation that you will just not let slip away because of petty stuff.

Bad relationships are simply bad. Get away and stay away. Pain is not a big part of a good relationship. All relationships have bumps in the road, but the bad ones are always just that, bad.

So which was this, a truly good relationship with peace and love and caring, or was it bad with pain and remorse and suffering?

Nothing better in this world than a good spouse, nothing worse than a bad one. Let us hope your good one is ahead of you. I could not imagine if my good one was behind me.

Just my 2 cents! Not worth another penny.

Best luck success with your situation.

Joe D

Answer 7

i have been in the same situation expect i am the girl. I new that it was a mistake that i did it to this guy. I cared about him so much that i kept thinking about him in my other realtionships. ME and him are really good friends and i think that you have to get though it. And it sounds like you really want her back. I mean if she has thoughs problems then you might need to help her get though them. Maby you need to jsut sit down and talk to her and see if she feels the same way. And if there is still something there then you either need to work with eachother or you need to get over her. That is the best advice that i could give i hope that it helps

Answer 8

just let it go and get on with yer life. my wife and i parted 20 years ago after 15 years together and even though i am happily married for the last 12 years i still think of her every now and then and hope she is ok. what i am trying to say here is that yes it does hurt and can hurt for a long time but you learn to get over it and move on. good luck

Answer 9

From personal experience:

RUN

FAR

AWAY

I asked a similar question on here once, and didn't take the advice I was given. Six months later, I'm licking my wounds from the mistake of getting back with my ex, and cautioning others to not make the same mistake I did.

Good luck is all I can say.

Answer 10

From experience, leave her alone, morn the death of your marriage, and let yourself heal. Under no circumstances do you let her back into your life unless she does a flip flop to get you back. Some do leave and play the yo-yo game for years. Others leave and never return. Others leave and realize their mistake and a year or so, come back. The marriages when the spouse comes back after a year or so, do last, or most do. However, from what I have seen, just let her go and just do not have contact with her. My ex played me as his yo-yo for four years. One good thing about it, I lost weight. Prayer, faith, and church will be your best answer.

Answer 11

run the other way man been here done that. time and seperation will make things better for you. she regret it someday but you will have moved on. maybe down the road you can return to being friends, but you will have moved on to a bigger and better relationship and i know this sounds horribe but she regret not keeping you around. when tough times come if she was your true friend she wouldnt have broken it off for personal issues. thats when you need friends the most. good luck the best is yet to come for you my friend.