Separating between sex and love?

Question

Men, please explain this to me. I am engaged to a great guy that i love. Our sex life is GREAT. However i am getting concerned that i won't be enough for him as years go by. I have always had a very high sex drive (i have been married before) and am not expecting it to change. Last night i went to a christmas party at work and i was talking to some of my male coworkers who were getting a bit tipsy. After years of marriage they all agreed that they would prefer to separate love from sex, that they would prefer having sex with multiple partners but still be married to their wifes who they love. They told me most men are like that

How is this possible? How can men have sex with someone they are sexually attracted to and at the same time dearly loving their wifes? Doesn't it affect their feelings for their wifes when they sleep with other women???

I am not trying to be judgemental and saying that this is wrong. I simply want to understand this better...

Answer 1

Well honestly that is wrong.. because when you love someone you love them!...and if you love someone then you couldnt possibly think about being with someone else.. you couldnt imagine hurting the other person and you would rather be the one in pain than watch the one you love suffer.. I dont understand what this world is coming to.. I just dont understand where morals and values have went...and why are they gone?!..If your love and the love you give him is not enough for him...then he isnt good enough for your love.. he doesnt deserve time or effort or any sort of love if he is willing to commit to a relationship and then go out and try to find affection from someone else..It is..in my eyes wrong!

goodluck!

Answer 2

Everyone is different and certain types of people tend to attract the same type of people in their social circles. So their information was biased. Not all men are like that and if you don't trust in your man because of what another person tells you, or really for any reason at all, you need to have a long talk with him. Tell him what was said and that you are worried about it, it's better to be honest and open about this. You are engaged to this man, so in reality you should think of him as your other half. You wouldn't withhold your own feelings from yourself right? Not only that, but when you marry you need to marry someone you regard as kingly. That's where the phrase,"better half," comes into play. You cannot have a complete relationship to anyone if you aren't honest and open with your feelings. You cannot have a complete relationship if you can't trust or are afraid to trust. That is my personal experience on the matter. I know it's very hard to draw a line in the sand, but you need to do this before you make the decision of becoming his wife or having sex with him. That's why so many marriages end up badly and so many children haven't both parents. I don't know of a guy who doesn't have a high sex drive, that's normal. But when it comes to men who are cheaters, well that's different. Sure there are a lot of those, just like there are a lot of women who do it also. Doesn't mean all men are like that. It's normal for men to have a searching eye. However, it's best to find a man who only has eyes for you. Ask him point blank about this, ask him how he feels, tell him how you feel. Then go from there, chances are that he isn't like that. Another point of advice is making a list of things that are important to you and discuss them. Sounds to me like you really need to investigate him a wee bit more. I'm not being mean, it's easy to read things as hateful because there's no tone of voice in here. I care, I really do and that's what I want you to know. I've been used before, I've been cheated on, I've been lied to, and I've been judged as much as anyone could judge me. If you're in a relationship and you are frustrated with the person, annoyed, confused, resentful, and/or feel not good enough, then he's not the person for you. But if you have this feeling of,"I'm complete and happy," when you are with him than you've made a perfect choice. I hope that's how you feel because love is the most complex and thrilling thing imaginable. My husband means the world to me, I wish the same thing or you. Just sit him down tonight and have a heart to heart. Best of luck, Randi P.S. My husband wouldn't, but for this question I put myself in this position... If my husband wanted other women and I allowed him too have sex with them. My conclusion was this, though he loves me he could start to develop feelings for the other woman/women. Sex is personal, no matter how you look at it. A bonding, close time between two people (or more as it is more common nowadays). That and I would develop body insecurities,"What if my body doesn't make him want me anymore? Maybe it's my ugly body or something and the other woman/women have what he wants?" Envy and jealousy would ensue and that would be the realization that the relationship had already ended, I was just so attached to him emotionally that I was in denial.

Answer 3

This is Opinion Only

Men and women look at LOVE differently. To most men that I know(myself included) love is when you care about some one to the point that you would sacrifice your life for them.

To most women that I know it boils down to security. I mean they seem to think that love is a man taking care of them for the rest of there lives.

Do you notice that neither statement mentions sex. For women it seems as if fear plays a major part in the one partner scenario. For men having one woman that they would give their life for does not mean one sex partner for life.

PS I know that I will be blasted for saying this but I think it is time it was said.

Answer 4

Wow, I hope they are wrong when they say that "most men" feel this way...I would not be ok with my spouse sleeping around. (I'm not married, but i have been)

Answer 5

Men are like dogs....they'll hump anything in heat!!!!